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Case Study No. 5 - Seinfeld Non-Dating

Girl and guy know each other. Girl finds guy interesting. They bump into each other on occasion and he asks her to coffee. They have a good time. She's interested. Subsequently, she feels like he pulled a Seinfeld, indirectly asking her out on multiple non-dates, but nothing solid. 3 months later she's fed up with mundane interactions and feels like maybe it's time to have the DTR talk. Should she have the talk? Does she have reason to believe that maybe he's still interested but just immaturely avoiding?

I think a conversation is needed here. She should probably not come in guns blazing and shoot you down like the Gestapo. Either a) Guy is still interested but for some reason gun-shy or b) Guy is not interested but not able to transition to some sort of mature interaction. I don't think it would be out of place for her to say, "Hey, can we talk...?" Of course, some girls might not say anything because they are waiting for the guy to figure out what he thinks. Sometimes this is hard, but I think it is also a "right" thing to do. His behaviour indicates a waning interest, and if what he's communicating and what he's feeling are two different things (and if he realizes this) then it's his responsibility to communicate otherwise. She's not out of line to ask, but he's definitely in line, on the train and doing well to offer the info...


J.r. Fisher said…
In my experience, about 80% of the time its due to a guy she being to shy or nervous to say anything.

The movie "Hitch' comes to mind. . . .
Motorokr said…
every date is considered a solid date, it's just a matter of how far the guy or girl is willing to take it. In this guy's case, not very.

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