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Spinning My Wheels

The title is a reference to two very different things.

Thing one is not metaphorical. It is a reference to the 30 minutes (or so) that it took myself, Kurt, and Lynsey to get my car back into its parking space after a failed attempt to get on to the street, drive away and buy groceries.

Not fifteen minutes later, I saw Wendy drive down our street - she has not attempted this in the past few weeks, which is wise. She did today, which was foolish. She got stuck. We tried - this time with Dan in place of Kurt...sans luck. No luck. Nada. She was going nowhere. We called in reinforcements, Wendy grabbed her handy towing-rope (who has one of those!? honestly.) and after a dinner break, with much shoveling and sideways-pushing of her car, she is also parked.

Neither of us is going anywhere in our cars tomorrow, and in the end we had to walk to the grocery store so that we could eat breakfast in the morning.

Thing two is about how much I think. Which, in case you don't know me, is a lot. I have not been sleeping well at night for the past few weeks - maybe a month, actually - and last night, I lay in bed thinking about poetry and the importance of a good title. I realized that it is crucial, and that the title can change the entire perception and interpretation of the exact same piece of work. That's the thing about poetry - it's vague enough that a four word title flips it on its proverbial head. I like this, when I have a good title. When I don't, it drives me bonkers.

I have also been thinking a lot about boys, which should not come as a surprise to anyone who a) is a girl or b) has ever talked to me more than twice. I like boys. Unfortunately, I still freeze up like a sixteen year-old around the attractive ones. I have yet to figure out what it means for me to "just be myself." If I ever figure that out, I think I will be making significant progress. Until then, I imagine I will keep myself up at night wondering, playing out scenarios that in which I am either too shy (smiling demurely as a man makes his approach) or too bold (confidently walking up to a near stranger with nothing to say beyond, "Hi, I'm Beth").


Mindy said…
It's ok, Beth. It's cute when you get flustered :) You're beautiful and charming and people see that. I think Wendy said this in her blog but the 20s are when we explore and find out who we really are so keep going on, sistah.
nadine said…
I cannot relate to Thing One. Because I am wheel-less.

I can relate to Thing Two. All of it. Because we're pretty much the same person.
MLW said…
Ah...the joys of owning wheels and living in the land of snow especially where snow is a rarity and streets are unploughed! Re: acting yourself - how do you act around those who you consider friends, those you don't "freeze up" with? That is being yourself.
Beth said…
mindy: thank you, i'm glad you think i'm cute when flustered. hopefully men somewhere in the world agree with you.

nadine: i know.

mlw: it depends who, what my mood is like...there are many ways that "being me" can look.

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