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Babes & Boobs 1.0

There is a boy (man?) at my church who is big, good-looking, and gentle. An attractive combination, to say the least. We have often smiled at each other, but rarely spoken. I find myself more than flustered around him, my vocabulary dwindling down to a single word: Hi. After that, my mind is a complete and utter blank.

Last week after our Maundy Thursday gathering, I held a sleeping baby in my arms. Adorable, six-week-old baby, with little drool bubbles on his lips and a warm, lovely weight. I was chatting with a couple of friends when he approached, saying "Hey," to my friends. In a flash, I thought to myself, This is it. He knows my friends...I'm holding a cute baby...finally, we can have some sort of conversation!

He looked at the baby in my arms slightly quizzically, knowing that I don't (and shouldn't) have a child of my own. I said, "Oh, it's so-and-so's little guy..." He nodded and took a closer look at the baby. I thought, I have nothing more to say. Once again...what else do I say??

Before I thought of something witty or even mundane to continue the conversation with, he spoke again.

"Looks like he tried to bite you," he said, pointing out the fact that drool had been transferred from the baby's mouth to the exact centre of my boob.

The next thirty seconds are all a blur. Internally freaking out, externally blank, I am not sure how my oh-so-intelligent response of "Yeah..." came across. Nor am I sure where the conversation went after that, or how many milliseconds later he wandered away from us.

What I am sure of is that he didn't intend to make a conversation-killing remark.* And that the chances of us ever interacting normatively have plummeted to scarcely above zero. Although, perhaps my three month absence will help return us to the previous level of awkwardness...

*I don't want this entry to come across as making fun of him in any way. He is a stellar guy from what I know of him, and we're all known to inadvertently say awkward things. My heightened level of awkwardness around him merely meant I couldn't compensate for his own awkwardness, something that I usually am not so terrible at.


Mindy said…
Oh Beth. Why can't real life be a bit more like the movies where things happen more smoothly eh? I suppose though it's moments like these that we'll remember when we're old and gray and laugh at how silly the situation was. Keep on pressing on girl!
nadine said…
Oh, my. Awkwardness makes the world go round. Or at least my world. We ARE the same person.

At least he's awkward too. It's far more traumatic when you're bumbling through life while he's Mr. Cool. Consider yourselves tied :)
aban said…
i always type, and then edit what i WANT to say on here. i get nervous.

anyways. about this post (: it made me smile. dude, i'm HELLA awkward. i'm also sad that i BURST into a fit of giggles when i read the word "boobs."
Beth said…
mindy: i'm sure i'll be laughing about it when i'm gray...i'm laughing about it now! i'm glad i can laugh at myself :)

nadine: it's true. i do feel better, knowing i'm not the only awkward one...

aban: i'm glad it made you smile. and i really deliberated on the word choice for "boob." but knowing i have a co-ed readership, it's the one i'm most comfortable with (although i still wouldn't really ever use it in a coed setting).

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