I didn't realize, until after I posted the link on FB, and got all your kind notes and likes in return, just how much I'd been holding back from blogging. I wasn't ready to talk about this relationship, but I also didn't know how to not talk about it. So I said nothing.
And now the floodgates have opened.
Not that everything I blog about from here on out will be relationship-stuff (I certainly hope that isn't the case, and probably won't let it happen), but now that I'm not concerned about that particular piece, I can talk about anything I LIKE, again.
Like my friend Jared, who wrote a book. It is coming out in the spring from Tyndale Publishing, and he told me earlier this week that his thank-you to me in the acknowledgements is probably his favourite, and then he laughed, which makes me nervous but also excited. I can't believe my name is in the acknowledgements of a real-live-soon-to-be-published book! Next step, take part in writing a real-live-published book!
I don't know how much I'm allowed to say about this book, since it isn't out yet. But it is going to be good. It's funny, it's crazy, and it's heartfelt, all at once. He dances in a Jewish synagogue. He and his wife meet the Pope (no. joke.). He spends New Year's Eve in North Korea. He gets inside the Westboro Baptist Church compound. He walks on coals, talks to monks, and he learns a lot about this big thing we call prayer.
I would also like to tell you about this past Sunday, when Brenda and I shared about our trip to Tanzania, and how I felt all the feelings - joy and gratitude and sadness and missing the people and spaces and even the food... I want to talk about how encouraging it was to stand in front of people and see them drawn into the words we shared. I'd like to tell you about how this slots in (somewhere) to the ongoing process of figuring out what I'm doing with my life.
And that would lead straight into a whole ramble of thoughts around whether ordination/being a church minister is the thing for me or not, and whether what I feel is pressure or call.
That's a beast of a thing. But there isn't time today.
Time and busy-ness. That's another thing I'd like to write about, and how I've got so caught up in all the deadlines and tasks of this autumn that I forget to breathe and rest and write - and I've forgotten that those three things are not optional for me. They're essential pieces. Pieces I'm trying to hold on to and put back in to the rhythm of these days.
I want to talk with you about all these things. I want to process all these things.
I've missed you, is what I'm saying. Let's be friends again.