* not with ink

Let's talk about how much life can change in a year. And yet, how little changes at the same time. Yesterday, I celebrated a friend's 35th birthday. It's the fourth year that I've been a part of her life, and I have fond memories of eating cake and dancing with two other friends in her basement apartment in 2010, shortly after she moved to the city. In some ways, my life hasn't changed much since then. I'm still here in Toronto. Still struggling to make ends meet. Still unsure of where my life is headed. But appearances can be deceiving, and I feel certain that these years have been important ones. I started a nannying job that fall. Took care of two rambunctious boys for a year. Then spent a year and a half working for their mom's business. The whole time, I asked myself, What am I doing? Where am I headed?  It felt like nothing was happening. And then a conversation I hardly remember, except for the sound of my own voice saying, "I'd lov...

Sometimes life is like a bear hunt. Particularly the bear hunt immortalized in the children's action story/song . For those of you unfamiliar with the song, here is the first verse:  We're goin' on a bear hunt, We're gonna catch a big one, I'm not scared! What a beautiful day! Oh look! It's some long, wavy grass! Can't go over it, Can't go under it, Can't go around it, Gotta go through it! The rest of the song follows the same formula - we've got a mission, we have high hopes, we're excited and not scared, we encounter an obstacle that cannot be avoided...we overcome, and then we repeat. Such is life. The past week has been a bit of an emotional roller-coaster for me (and, from what I gather via social media, thousands of other people in the world, each for their own reasons, though sometimes events and tragedies unite us in grief). This morning I articulated some massive life-fears to a friend, and our conversation went like thi...

One of my lovely friends recently went through a break-up, and asked me about the things I've learned from dating, breaking-up, etc... I don't feel like an expert, by any means, but it was encouraging to process and articulate a thought or two in this realm. And now I want to share those thoughts with you! Some thoughts on dating and breaking up and hearing hard things and learning and contentment and loving myself: Thought A : the one most non-negotiable for me in a relationship is that the other person WANTS to be in it with me. I refuse to try and convince someone into it. And I won't waste my emotions on someone who has chosen not to be with me - I am allowed to feel sad/disappointed, but the "pining" for intimacy, love, etc is directed forward, to a future-unknown person, rather than back to what was. I've become convinced that I deserve to be loved as I am, who I am. Thought B : you can't MAKE things work without two people. For me, ...

I've been home for two weeks! I took a good old-fashioned film camera with me to Tanzania (who does that!? me.) and now that the film has been developed, I would like to share some of my favourites with you. a boy herds cattle a traditional home with a banana-tree lined path these young girls were watching traditional musicians a young lion enjoys a buffalo feast! I need to figure out what I'm going to do to compile all the best ones. Maybe I'll make a photo book. And carry it around with me everywhere I go, and show it off like a proud parent.