* not with ink

from October 2010. I don't miss nannying, but maybe I kind of do... I definitely miss kids. Kids are so funny and weird and irritating and adorable. C asked me today, "How are people made?" He also asked (while in the bath) if he could wash my hair. I said no, because my clothes would get wet and water would get out of the tub. He said, "Then can you take off your clothes and get in the bath with me?" The desire to wash my hair started earlier, when he was sitting on my lap after dinner. He was drinking large mouthfuls of water, and asked if he could wash my hair with it. Distracted by a conversation with his brother, I didn't answer fast enough - and he fountained a mouthful of water down my shirt.

In the past two weeks, I think my boss has given me more praise than she did over the eleven months I spent as her nanny. IF this is an accurate take on reality, there are two possible conclusions. 1. Nannying is clearly not my life-calling. 2. My boss places a higher value on business output than she does childcare. I am pretty sure both are somewhat true, but let's focus on the first. I don't think I was a BAD nanny, but I am relieved to no longer be one. I wonder how much of my current job-happiness is still about the novelty of it and how much I'll retain over the long-haul. If my boss keeps telling me every. single. day. how glad she is to have me around, I think that the happiness will linger.  It is a great thing to feel good at my job. And I feel the freedom to ask six thousand questions while I get the hang of how it all works. This is the first time in my adult life I've had a job where I feel potential and safety and confidence and freedom-from-anx...

G went into the ravine yesterday with some friends, even though I had expressly forbidden it. I told him we would discuss this with his mom when she came home. Our conversation went thusly: Mom - G, there are strange men in the ravine. G - Not where we were! Mom - If you don't believe me, we can go down and watch them and you will never want to go down there again. Me - (trying to hide a smile) Mom - I'm telling you, there are strange men there. And they like little boys. G - (looking perplexed, distracted by his quest for more chicken) Me - (still trying not to smile) C, across the room - Do they want to kidnap him? Mom - I don't know if they want to kidnap him, but they want to do SOMETHING to him... (she KNOWS I'm cracking up) C - They want to take him home and cook him and fry him for dinner!! Me - (bursts of laughter) Mom - (silently eating her chicken, totally non-plussed) Today, C and I went into the ravine. We didn't see any strange men, and he se...

mother of a child with curly hair: "Do strangers stop you in the grocery store to comment on your hair?" me, to the father of C's friend: "Hi, I'm C's nanny." mother of C's friend: "Au pair. I feel like nanny isn't the right term for what you are." me: "Sure, au pair..." friend 1: "Sometimes I feel like you're more of a hired mom than a nanny." me: "Um, that is a nanny." me: "Let me get the door for you." brother: "Sure. But first, can you take my socks off?" my nephew, in an awed voice: "Aunt Beth, did you know that asparagus are plants? " my nephew, again: "I'm having my ice cream in a clone! " friend 2: "I fell in love with ribs. It is kind of like falling in love with a person, but better. Because there is more licking at the start of the relationship." friend 3: "People say they want real community, b...

Every time my mind wandered from the game tonight (which happened frequently), I found myself singing one line from a song over and over. It took me a period and a half to figure out what it was... I fully lay responsibility for this on C and G, who recently downloaded the album. But you know what, I realized yesterday that I really love these boys and will be sad when I no longer get paid to dance around their living room to Justin Bieber.

Sometimes, I am jealous of mommy bloggers, because they can be honest and talk about the crappy parts of their lives and jobs without fear of being fired. Most of the rest of us do not have this luxury. A couple weeks ago, my delightful friend Jackie blogged about her perusal of several mommy blogs . One realization she had was that my job as a nanny is probably a lot less fun and games than my occasional #MyLifeAsANanny tweets may infer. She is a thousand percent right. There is a lot that I won't or can't say online about my job, and it is certainly not very glamorous work on most days, although I do get paid to jump on a bouncy castle and go to the zoo and teach manners and help two strong-willed boys learn about the world around them. But this entry is not supposed to be about me. It is just supposed to be this: of all the tough things about motherhood (and there are a heckuvalot a lot of them), one privilege that few others have is the ability to tell the interweb w...

Today was endlessly amusing chez nous. (It was also endlessly frustrating, but more on that in an upcoming post. This is all about the laughter.) C: Do snakes poop? Me: Yes. All animals poop. If you eat, you poop. C: But where does it come out from? Me: They have a special hole just like we do. But I'm not sure where it is, because they don't have bums like we do. C: Do alligators poop? Crocodiles? Because they don't have bums either. Me: They poop out of a special hole like snakes do. C: But where is it? Me: I have no idea. (ten minutes later) C: Where do clementines come from? Me: They grow on trees! C: Where did you come from? Me: I grew inside my mommy. C: But how did you get all your parts? Me: Pardon? C: How did you get all your people parts? Me: Um. (five minutes later) C: I'm going to read your book! Me: Ok. C: But there aren't any pictures! Me: No, there aren't. C: But how can you read it t...

1. This name and epitaph on a headstone in the cemetery: Ouisville Earlington Sears Men on earth have done their best Angels in heaven can't do better First off, the name!!!!! WOW. And that epitaph...is it a quote from something famous, or just a weirdly nonsensical platitude?? 2. This conversation with C: C: So if I had a really long nose, I could breathe underwater, right? Like at the zoo. me: Yes. Do you remember what that animal was called? C: Um, I forget. me: A tapir. C: Oh yeah. (ten minutes later) C: Mumble mumble, I could breathe underwater, right? me: Pardon me? C: So if I had a really long dinky, I could breathe underwater, right? me: No. Only a long nose. C: Or mouth. me: I guess so, but I don't know if any animals have really long mouths. Actually, pretty sure this stemmed from a memory of our initial visit to the tapir, which happened right after we saw the rhino. (Other things I don't get include the proper spelling of Qaddafi, the reason blue cheese...

Yesterday at work: C: Can we make gingermen sometime? me: Sure, we can make gingerbread men. C: At Christmas, we make gingerbread houses. And we can eat them, 'cause they're food. me: Yes, they are for eating. C: But if they were chickenbread houses, they would be healthier, right? Because chicken is protein, right? And protein makes you run faster. me: (laughing) Yes, chicken is protein. And protein helps you grow strong. And an assortment of texts I don't want to delete: Get out of my head. Just saw a sign that says free lunch. First thought: I should go there! Second thought: why is it free? Oh no! It's a strip club! (no such thing as a free lunch these days) Cool. Date b If ur not sleeping well maybe u need a husband to keep u warm. Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are shooting stars? I can't believe I didney reply to this text from now 24 hours ago. Eesh. Work was so busy I couldn't...and then my brain fell off and...

Sometimes it is really difficult to package thoughts into a blog entry. Tonight's most pertinent thoughts require two prefaces and will potentially be quite lengthy. I am tempted to watch an episode of The Mentalist instead of sorting it all out. Preface A: I don't know how to give myself permission to feel what I feel and want what I want even if it is irrational or "less" than another's feelings/pain/suffering/etc. I find it unbearably hard to say, "This is where I'm at: __________." Without following it up with some sort of plan to move forward or "fix" those things I dislike. (Today, I feel overly possessive of friendships, jealous of girls dating men I do not want, grieved over the death of someone I haven't seen in five years.*) Preface B: I have found myself hesitating to blog about my relationship with Jesus this year. Partly because hesitant is exactly the word I would use to describe our relationship right now. And...

(waiting for food to cook) C: How long will that take? me: Mm, probably six minutes? C: Six!? Six is a really long time! Way longer than it takes to get to Antarctica! (bumps his shoulder) C: Ow, my arm! I don't think I can lift anything until my next vacation!!! (wearing his penguin costume) C: Can I tell you how penguins give love on Valentines? me: Sure. How do penguins give love? C: They do this. (he wraps himself around my leg) They hug.

I listen to a lot more Top 40 than usual these days. The boys I nanny love the radio while we drive to and from school and the club. Although I am trying to introduce them to some more indie/rock style, the current reality is we listen to a lot of 99.9 and 92.5... Here are some of my thoughts on some of what we hear: 1. For someone who is supposed to be an international sensation, I don't think I have ever heard Justin Bieber on the radio. (sorry to mention him, Becca!) I find this fascinating. 2. Rihanna ...she can sing. But her lyrics are too much for me. And even if they don't really catch it, I'd argue that they're too much for little kids too. "Sure, C...those are the words..." Katy Perry and Britney Spears also make it into the category of no-video-sharing from me. Bleh. 3. Usher. I heard that he was the most tweeted about person at the Superbowl, which is funny, because it's supposed to be about football . I am going to admit, I really ...

I woke up before my alarm. Poor sleep has been haunting our house for TOO LONG. I felt sick enough to be grumpy, but not sick enough to skip work. I had a cultural misunderstanding. G needs a dress-up costume for school later this week. G's mom : You could be a Hanson brother! Me: Yeah!! No one would get it but the teachers, but it'd be great! I love their new single. Well, I guess it's not new anymore...but it's great! G's mom: What? Me: Yeah, they're still making music. Crazy, hey? G's mom: No, I meant the hockey players. Me: Oh. (who're they?) I went to the zoo. C: What's that hanging down there? Me: ( trying to remain calm) Um, I think that's the rhino's penis. C: Oh. What's that animal? (pointing elsewhere) Me: It's a tapir. C: I want to be a baby tapir. I sang along to M.I.A.'s Paper Planes with a 3 year-old. It seemed wrong and yet adorable. (I skipped some lyrics) I enforced health and safety rules. (after sch...

At the end of this work week, here are some of my thoughts and feelings: I miss the interweb. I wish I weren't away from the internet for 12 waking hours each day.  I feel tired. I think that 8 hours of sleep is not enough.  I came up with more blog topics to write about: Player One . Prayer. Brand Loyalty. A depressing epitaph. What is next? I want to live my whole life believing that my best days are still ahead of me.  Did I mention that I'm tired?  I am impressed by my ability to remain calm in the presence of a perpetually whining child. Two grouchy children, is, however, unbearable. I dislike the way my patience disappears.  Can it be springtime now? My room is a disaster. When will I have time to clean it? Next weekend? Yes, next weekend. I used to say I would never drink alone. I need to figure out the new modification for that rule. It was a good rule. It is a good rule. But this is the second time this month I've had a glass of wine by myse...

I finally started reading Player One , the latest novel by Douglas Coupland, delivered as the Massey Lecture series last year (woah, feels strange to call 2010 "last year"). I am sucked in and want to skip work or make C take care of himself or something similar so that I can finish it. Thank you to my sister-in-law for gifting it to me at Christmas!! G and I were discussing his Christmas gifts while I was prepping dinner yesterday. He told me he'd gotten one book: me: From whom? G: N__________ me: Who's that? G: She lives across the street. She's a doctor. She was the first doctor to do wiener surgery. me: Oh? (not really sure what to say to that one, although I doubt his facts) G: Yeah. I'm glad it wasn't on me. me: I'm sure you are. G: I would cry for nine days if I ever had to have wiener surgery. me: Nine days, hey? I gave my nephew this super-cool art paper that already has frames printed around the edges, so you draw/paint/whatever ...

I am on holidays until January 10th. This is lovely, as I've not had any vacation time (apart from Thanksgiving) since I started work in August. It is also strange, as I miss the boys by the end of each weekend; who knows how it will be after two whole weeks! On Christmas Day, I got a call from the family. The boys wanted to wish me a Merry Christmas and tell me what Santa brought them. It was an adorable and chaotic call. Apparently, C asked if it was "a Beth day" early in the morning. While on the phone, he asked if they could come to my house in the morning to see me. Two days into my time off, I found myself promising to stop by for a visit sometime (granted, I forgot a camera card that I would like to have back). But I'm not surprised. It's the obvious build-up after a great month of work. The visit fell through, but a second phone call reminded me that I have indeed fallen in love with these boys. December was the best month so far. We're all hitti...

Since this week ended on a surprisingly high note (who would have thought I'd not only survive a PD Day, but actually enjoy it!?), I'm going to share some fun nannying moments before I forget again that this job can be glorious. First, G. and I are getting along great. His favourite topic of conversation is "Things I Could Beat Beth At" and the list is endless (in his mind). I have trouble knowing how to encourage him without lying and/or inflating his ego in an unhealthy way. I also love telling him how much I appreciate his patience with C. This positive reinforcement seems to help. And now a list of funny things that C. has said recently: (eating a cracker) Crunchy things get wet in your mouth. Want to feel it? (after blowing me a kiss) There were no hearts when I did that! (talking about his "girlfriend") I just walked up to her and gave her a hug. I can't believe I did that! And then I gave her a kiss! I can't believe I did t...

...because it is bad for my pride.  Instances where arrogance has slapped me in the face: 1. Someone who knows me as a nanny asks what I studied in university. I say, "English Literature." They say, "Oh, and did you graduate?" I bite back my instinctive and indignant retort, "At the top of my class!" 2.With half an hour until I have to go get the boys for lunch, all the laundry is folded and I get a brief break. I love this treat. As I come downstairs to grab my computer, I catch an unpleasant whiff. Yes. That is precisely what I thought. The dog (usually outside, save for today's rain) has had an unfortunate series of accidents on the carpet. I don't do doggy doo. I really don't do doggy diarrhea. But I am amazed at what I'm capable of when I have no other options. 3. “Wait, you cook their dinners? And you do their laundry? I want a nanny...I have a bunny. We can have a bunny nanny.” “You're not the boss of me! Only...

This week, a slight diversion from the regular format . Mostly because I was not a diligent scribe throughout the week. But still funny, and still true to Nadine's life with me. Today, I'm minding my business at work, and get this text: her: Eharmony is free all November. I dare you.... :) So I respond: me: I'm in. Also, I am not going to survive today. C is.... not listening well. Sigh. her: Yuck. Three-hour timeout. That would be my call :) me: The threat of losing a playdate is hardly working. And I WANT the playdate to happen. her: There should be boarding school for toddlers. me: I AM the boarding school equivalent. her: Oh. Right. Note to self: hire a nanny when terrible twos/threes arrive. me: I will, I think. At least part-time. Note to self - start saving for a nanny. her: Last night The Boy threatened me with the idea of having ten boys. Um... I would pull out every strand of hair on my head. And then I would become a truck driver and lea...

When C. whines at me, I consistently say, "Oh, is that Mr. Grumpypants talking? You know I don't talk with Mr. Grumpypants." I feel the need to say this to myself tonight. Even baking didn't cure the blues. Chocolate Zucchini Loaf...you are mediocre. And it is my own fault. ( Why do I think that I can modify recipes I've never before attempted?) For the first time all week, I stuck my earphones in and turned my iPod on. It is unusual that I would go this long without music, and it was half intentional. Musical therapy seems to be the thing I needed tonight. And these songs that hit the right spots. (each link is to a live performance) Generation Spent - Charlie Winston I don't wanna be a victim of this culture More prey for a people to dispose of Anytime I try and come to some conclusion I'm only faced with confusion, confusion City - Sara Bareilles Here in these deep city lights Girl could get lost tonight I'm finding every reason to be gone Nothing ...