Skip to main content

Some Thoughts on Aging

It's Monday morning afternoon, and I have exactly 4 homework assignments that need to be done today, and I have finished precisely 0 of them (though I have started 3). So obviously, it is time for me to process some thoughts via this blog... 

I've been thinking this week about aging. Actually, I've been thinking about it all month, maybe longer.

Something in me feels like getting married has flipped a switch, setting an unstoppable train into motion. Growing old seems inevitable now. Children may or may not happen, careers will shift, retirement is something to consider, and someday I'll be the one using a cane to get up, shuffling through the doors of a church, trying to understand a rapidly changing and unfamiliar world.

I know it is isn't marriage that started this; the train has been in motion since my birth. But I felt a little ageless when I was flying solo, as if my unmarriedness was holding time back, because the only person on my to-care-for radar was myself (siblings and parents are a different kind of care, and their aging somehow seems disconnected from my aging). 

Now I talk about things like life insurance and pensions and if we can afford to raise (hypothetical) children in downtown Toronto.

Added to this are the conversations I often have with church folk, specifically the grey-haired variety. They're a significant demographic, and they're always up for a chat.

(I want to be like this someday.)

And it strikes me, over and over, that loneliness and isolation are all too easy to fall into, that we young folks don't understand (or even consider) what it is like to watch your life shrink down, your family move away, your body conspire against you so that your life simplifies down to the essentials, to keeping yourself alive and whatever small extras you may have energy for.

And I wonder two things:
  1. How do I prepare myself for these inevitable life-shifts? 
  2. How do I better care for the older people in my life? 


And I have two answers for myself:

  1. Practice contentment. Let your life be what it is, right now, with gratitude. Keep that attitude.  
  2. Give time. Call those who are far away on a regular basis. When you're face-to-face, be generous with your attention. 
Simple things, really. Simple ones that require my attention, my effort, and my willingness to let go of busy-ness. Which is something I always want but rarely do. 


Postscript: I'm glad I took twenty minutes to sort these thoughts out. It's been helpful, at least to myself. Maybe to you, too? Now, if only my school-thoughts will come as easily!
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The ROM, The Earth & Procreation

Disclaimer: This post is intended to generate discussion and a sharing of many opinions. It is NOT intended to judge or condemn anyone's life choices. I had an unexpected moment at the ROM last month. C and I were listening to a presentation for kids on wildlife conservation (or rather, I was listening, and C was eagerly anticipating what live animal would come out next), when a statement caught my attention and still hasn't let go. For most of history, the earth could provide enough resources for the earth's human population. But today, our population is growing rapidly, increasing by 250 000 people every day... Forty years from now, it will require 2 Earths to provide sustainably for our survival as a human species. But we only have 1 Earth. 250 000 people. Every day. That is roughly twice the size of my hometown. In one day. So I did a little math. (First, I rounded down to 200 000, just in case the figures were inflated or failed to account for some sort o...
27 comments
Read more

Fostering FAQ: How Long Will She Stay/Will You Adopt Her?

Our first foster baby came with about 18 hours notice; it was respite care, which means we had him for a few days while his regular foster family had a break/dealt with a family emergency. He stayed 3 nights, long enough to come to church and have a dozen people cooing over his little sleeping cheeks.  With each new visitor to our quiet corner, I explained again that he would be going back to his foster family the next day. Barely a week later, we got a 9am phone call with a fostering request and by the same afternoon, we were snuggling her. This time, we had her for 4 days before church came around. Again, our community was keen to see the little one we had in tow. Again, the question, "How long will she stay?" And this time, "Are you going to adopt her?" Trying out the carrier... -- Here in Toronto, when a child is placed in foster care, it is always for an indefinite length of time. It depends on the parents' situation, and whether they are able to ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Simone Weil: On "Forms of the Implicit Love of God"

Simone Weil time again! One of the essays in Waiting for God  is entitled "Forms of the Implicit Love of God." Her main argument is that before a soul has "direct contact" with God, there are three types of love that are implicitly  the love of God, though they seem to have a different explicit  object. That is, in loving X, you are really loving Y. (in this case, Y = God). As for the X of the equation, she lists: Love of neighbor  Love of the beauty of the world  Love of religious practices  and a special sidebar to Friendship “Each has the virtue of a sacrament,” she writes. Each of these loves is something to be respected, honoured, and understood both symbolically and concretely. On each page of this essay, I found myself underlining profound, challenging, and thought-provoking words. There's so much to consider that I've gone back several times, mulling it over and wondering how my life would look if I truly believed even half of these thi...
1 comment
Read more