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Showing posts from 2006

Song of the Night

Once again I am staying up too late. But since I'm up, I'll do something useful: post my song of the night. Say Won't You Say by Jennifer Knapp.

Say won't You say
Say that You love me
With love, ever love, love everlasting?
All my devotion put into motion by You

Every morning I
Have a chance to rise and give my all
But every afternoon I find I have only wasted time
In light of Your awe
Isn't love amazing, I forgot how to speak
Knowing You are near and I am finally free

My eyes fear to close
This reckless letting go is hard to bear
On the edge of all I need, still I cling to what I see
And what have I there?

Bred my own disaster, who have I to blame?
When all I need is waiting to be fanned to flame

I opened up my eyes to see You standing there
Oh I can barely breathe, and I can hardly bear
All the love that I feel for You inside
I hope You feel it now, some, somehow

Ooooh, Gifts!

Presents! And a Digital Camera! What fun we can have...

Listen In

Care to eavesdrop on a conversation between God and I last night?



God? I miss you.

I miss you too.

I'm really tired of this.

I'm not surprised.

Can I come back now?

Of course you can.

I'm sorry.

I know.

I hate that I do this.

I know that too. (with a smile)

I - I might do it again.


And you'll keep letting me come back.


I don't want to be like this, running away from you every time I realize just how imperfect I am.

I know.

Can you change me?

You know I can.

Will you?

I am.

It doesn't feel like it.

Patience, child.

So where do I go from here?

Right back here.

I mean...

I know what you mean. Trust me.

I'm apparently not very good at that...

You're learning.

I'm a slow learner.

That's irrelevant to me. You're either learning or you're not.

Right. God? I'm really sorry.

Beth? It's over. It's gone.

I know...

Then let it go.

Ok. Trying...

(at this point my mind wanders elsewhere for awhile...)

Oh, God!



Ms. Scroogey Christmas

It's official. Christmas lights look dumb when there is no snow.

Christmas baking began today. I was going to post some pictures, but opted out. I will, however, list the Christmas goodies' now available at my house:

Sponge Taffy
Nuts'n'Bolts (actually nut free. So....Bolts?)
Festive Rice Krispie Squares
Some Sort of Nanaimo-ish Bars
Shortbread (coming soon!)
Skor Bars (pending)
Chocolate Stovetop Cookies (any day now)

Hm. Somehow, my food never sounds as delectable as Karen's. Ooh, this one too!

One Square Foot

It's amazing what one square foot of land can do.

If you purchase a plot of land from Lochaber Highland Estates, your life will be forever changed. For only $59.99, you too can become a genuine Scottish Laird and landowner!

According to the site,

People with a title are seen as wealthier, more attractive and much more successful than a plain Mr, Miss or Mrs. This will boost your self-esteem and increase your confidence. This is more impressive than a gold card, and easier to obtain then waiting for Her Majesty to bestow a title upon you!

Bank managers, restaurant and airline check in staff will not be able to help you enough. You could even receive free upgrades.

It's true. It's fully legal, and by purchasing "an estate" (how on earth one square foot of land can be called an estate is beyond me) in Scotland, you have "full rights to style yourself as a Laird (or Lady)."

So, in case you still need that last minute Christmas gift...look no further. You …

Music Spills

The concerts and friends I've experienced in the recent past have reminded me how intensely beautiful musical expression can be. Now, I am aching for the sort of skills and discipline where my emotions and thoughts could flow out of my fingers through some sort of music.

I have dabbled in music throughout my life {piano, trumpet, baritone, guitar, and penny whistle are the instruments I have toyed with}, but I have been unable to maintain a committed relationship with any of them.

Is it too late to change my half-hearted ways? As much as I want this today, will I still put the effort into it in three weeks?

Oh musique, tu me fais tourner la tête...

No Christmas Writing

I wanted to post some Christmas-themed fiction, but it has disappeared. This is most unfortunate, as it seems to be the one file I missed in transferring to my laptop. It was some writing that wasn't for any class, but I really liked it. I am sad.

This is my 100th post, and yes, I've changed my template again. Thanks to the new Blogger Beta.

Guelph, the City of Firsts

In search of verification that one of the members of Arcade Fire is indeed from Guelph (Tim Kingsbury: our families knew each other), I discovered the following fun facts about my home town. And Kirsten, I am always sad to say goodbye to you.
{disclaimer: any lies contained herein are blamed fully on Wikipedia's false information}

The Communist Party of Canada was organized in a barn near Guelph in May 1921. (does this really surprise anyone?)

The term 'hat-trick' has its origins in Guelph. The Biltmore Hat Factory sponsored the Guelph Mad Hatters, and when a player scored three goals, fans were encouraged to throw their hats on the ice...

Guelph was the home of North America's first cable TV system.

Guelph's police force had Canada's first municipal motorcycle patrol.

Guelph's police force was the first to have two-way car radios.

Guelph City Council set up Canada's first city manager system.

Guelph was home to Canada's first army cadet corps and the year…

Heart-grabbing Quotes on Various Topics

They were not tourists, however, but a choir of pilgrims from Germany. They filed in [to St. Peter's Basilica], gathered in a semi-circle directly beneath us, and began singing hymns. As their voices rose, reverberating around the dome and blending together in multi-part harmony, Michaelangelo's half sphere became not just a work of architectural grandeur but a temple of celestial music. The sound set our cells vibrating. It took on substance, as if we could lean on it, or swim in it, as if the hymns and not the balcony were supporting us.

Just as Pearl Harbour made my parents who they are and Woodstock made my peers who we are, isn't it possible that Columbine and September 11 are shaping a generation to be seekers of truth, meaning, wholeness, and peace?

Does anybody need someone
To be the one to come and rescue their heart
You know who you are
Can you hear me?
Say the words and I'll be there
Hold you like a mothers prayer
Take the hurt, calm the fear
Make the bad things di…

Time Travel

I am left eating supper at 11:15pm, since supper-hour was lost somewhere roughly over Churchill, Manitoba. Back to snow flurries and temperatures much like the ones about to dissipate into warmth over Vancouver.

Welcome to Ontario.

It is December, and as of 2:45pm tomorrow, I am off for a week of fun and learning. Hopefully well-heated.

Babes in Toyland

Ever seen this movie? I have vague memories from when I was small. It's on YTV tonight, so I decided to tune in.

When I was six, I wouldn't have recognized:
Drew Barrymore as 11 year-old Lisa or
Keanu Reeves as Jack-be-nimble, who is in love with Mary Contrary...

I also wouldn't have thought quite so deeply about the fact that most characters are people wearing giant bear and rabbit costumes...Oh, the innocence of childhood...

Also on: Steve Martin in Leap of Faith, about a con-man evangelist/healer...I'm intrigued. This one might win out over Babes.

Today's Prayer

O Father in heaven, who didst fashion my limbs to serve Thee and my soul to follow hard after Thee, with sorrow and contrition of heart I acknowledge before Thee the faults and failures of the day that is now past...

My failure to be true even to my own accepted standards:
My self-deception in face of temptation:
My choosing of the worse when I know the better:
O Lord, forgive.

My failure to apply to myself the standards of conduct I demand of others:
My blindness to the suffering of others and my slowness to be taught by my own:
My complacence toward wrongs that do not touch my own case and my oversensitiveness to those that do:
My slowness to see the good in my fellows and to see the evil in myself:
My hardness of heart toward my neighbours' faults and my readiness to make allowance of my own:
My unwillingness to believe that Thou hast called me to a small work and my brother to a great one:
O Lord, forgive.

~ from John Baillie's A Diary of Private Prayer

Missed Connections

Sickness Unto Death
The bus stop at 4th and MacDonald, 9:45am. You: cute blonde reading Kierkegaard. I: tall with curly hair. I ask if it's for class or pleasure. You glance up, smile thoughtfully and say, "Neither. For life." I ask what you think. You smile again and are about to answer when your bus comes. I want to know what thoughts lie behind that mysterious smile. Email me:

Jostled Your Friend
You: small Asian girl with a blue toque, leaving UBC on the 99, with a white friend. Me: Asian guy with a faux-hawk and Burton jacket. You two were talking, but we made eye-contact over her head. Several times. When the bus stopped at Sasamat, your friend lost her balance and fell into me. She apologized, but it was you that blushed. I wish I had been gutsy enough to ask for your phone number. Here's mine: (604) 555-5555.

Me: hippie chick with short red hair on the 84. Friday, November 24th around 3pm. You: slightly preppy girl across …


(subtitle: Obfuscated Meanderings Hoarded by a Literature Grad Over a Nebulous Span of Time)

So I've had some more thoughts on publishing a book. I want to. I think it's one of those things that I will dream about eternally but never do much about. If I did, I think it would fall somewhere between fiction and autobiography. Not like James Frey's Million Little Pieces, but I can't deny that my writing is in many ways influenced by my own experiences.

I think that a paperback blog would be an incredible thing. I'm imagining an entire series of novels, each one the paper equivalent of a single blog. Each novel is not just a collection of entries, but of comments and linked sites as well. Maybe even entries from a private journal at the same time. It would be like reading through someone's scrapbook. And each blog-novel would cover the same span of time as the others, so it would be like a narrative from many different perspectives. Only blogs aren't limited to o…

24 Kirkland

Last night I heard little steps pattering above me. Tonight, I hear a child playing piano.

If I close my eyes, it's as if I am back in my basement apartment...

Little Things

This morning I fixed a $10 watch that I bought last year and wore for a week before losing a pin. It's one of the few watches that I think fits my wrist. I am happy to have it back, and hope it lasts longer than a week.

I burnt my knuckle on the stove element, because it is a flat-top stove, and even though I took the pot off roughly 1 minute earlier, I couldn't tell by looking that it was hot.

My desk lamp light bulb burnt out. It is some sort of special bulb - halogen maybe? so it won't be super-convenient to replace. I am lazy.

I bought U2's How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb for $10 today. CDs are going out of style, but MP3-less me is behind the times.

My U2 purchase made me wonder how much money people spend on themselves when they go Christmas shopping. I spent roughly $12, with tax.

The snow makes it feel like winter in Ontario. I thought I was escaping winter by moving here. Trick's on me.

I like being online when comments from my blog are emailed to me. For a seco…

Snow Day!

Take this you Ontario stinking warm people!

8:15am this morning, taken off my balcony:

Do you hear that?
It's silent.
That's right.
I don't hear anything. No cars. No people. Just snow.

Thank You, Parentals

Upon hearing that I grew up without a TV, my roommate's cousin asks me if I listened to the CBC.

"Yes. Definitely." I reply.

"Ahhhh. I feel like I know you better now!"

I look slightly puzzled, and he continues, "I know a lot of people who grew up without TVs and listened to the CBC. They are usually well-read, intelligent...(etc etc)"

I nod, smiling. "Well, I won't disagree with any of that!"

I just took a peek to see if Stuart Mclean is stopping by Guelph this Christmas. No such show, and I am bummed. I need to find the audio of his Christmas story with the 2 punch bowls at the party, and the alcohol going in the wrong egg nog...

Weather Woes

Talking to my mom this afternoon. It is 13 degrees in Guelph.

Yeah, right.

This is what my neighbourhood looks like today:


I had another Skytrain thought to share.

In Chapters, I looked at a book of tartans, and came across Jesskah's clan. To be honest, I don't remember what the tartan looked like. But I like that her fam has a plaid all their own. As I was pondering this on the Skytrain, I thought about her. One of her skills that I covet is her great lyrical capability.

{It is snowing here in Vancouver. And staying.My potentially boring night in was transformed. But that is a story for another time. Except to say that I made meatloaf, and it was delicious.}

Skytrain Thoughts

I ventured out on my own today. All the way to Burnaby and the Metropolis at Metrotown. Apparently, Canada's second largest mall. (little known fact: I worked at Canada's largest mall for a summer) I had fun, even though I don't think I made it through half the place. I sung along with the loud Christmas music - in my head, although others sang out loud.

Coming out of the mall, there was snow in the air and I wanted to drink hot chocolate and listen to Christmas carols. I'll admit, I'm a little bit glad I'll be in Ontario where I had better have a white Christmas. The probability is much greater, at the very least.

I haven't used a subway-train system much since Montreal, and I was a little bit surprised to hear the announcements in English rather than French. Prochaine station: Lionel-Groulx. As I reflected on this, I realized that I want to go back to Quebec. I may not like 8 months of winter, but I have a deep desire to improve my French and to use my lan…

My Twin, Jenn

I have many friends (and one sister-in-law, who is having a baby) named Jennifer. This post, although I love all of them very much, is about my long-lost twin. I can't tell you her full name, because her father happens to be in an important position in his town, and just today the local paper found her blog, and now she has an interview with the media...

We met in May in an airport. I threw yogourt on her, and later that day, she made an inappropriate comment in a professional setting. True stories, both. So why do I think we're twins? Well, other then the fact that she is 4 inches shorter than me with straight dark brown hair and no freckles, we're pretty much the same person.

- we have the same job
- we both do scandalous things (as noted in our first day of friendship)
- we like the same music: I introduced her to Plumb, and I'm pretty sure she secretly knows how to hip-hop
- we are touchy - not emotionally unstable, but affectionate
- we want the same tattoo (…

Body Worlds 3

Once a semester, we staff leave the campus and do something exciting, just so we can enjoy one another. It is called "staff fun" and today, it took place at Science World. The main attraction was the Body Worlds exhibit - a combination of organs, partial and full human bodies. I was a bit tentative, knowing that I am, generally speaking, easily grossed out. And, when it comes to biological science, pretty close to uneducated.

Overall impression: I feel more educated, grown up, and appreciative of the complexity of the human body. I did have to make a concentrated effort not to think about where these people came from or how you would go about taking a corpse and ending up with a "plastinate." If you are ever in the same city as this exhibit, I say you go and see it.

One of the first specimens was entitled "Praying Skeleton." Posed leaning on a cross shape, with hands uplifted and holding a heart, it paid tribute to the fact that many of the body donors have…


I watched Gwyneth Paltrow in Jane Austen's Emma tonight. So good. Favourite quote:

"What's the point of being almost twenty-two if there's still so much to learn?"

I like Jane's heroines because they are sweet and well-intentioned, but imperfect. Sometimes a bit naive, sometimes a bit too nosy. Loyal too and looking for a man of honour. And her men of honour...wonderful. I don't know who I'd pick as my favourite if I had to: Darcy, Mr. Knightley, Henry Tilney, or Wentworth. Ok. Not Henry Tilney. But the other three are all up there. Men of honour, wit, and (if the movies are accurate) good looks to boot.


My dad asked me tonight if I was serious about the tattoo I mentioned a few posts ago. I am, for the record, not considering getting a tattoo. Mainly because I don't know where on my body I would put a tattoo that I would not regret in 50 years.

That said, If I ever changed my mind or came up with an ideal location, this is what I would have inked into my flesh. (sounds great, doesn't it?)

This is the Chinese symbol for righteousness. Why would I get this? BECAUSE! It is actually a composite symbol of two symbols. On top is the symbol for "lamb" and underneath, "I."

That's right. Righteousness = Lamb [over] I

Somehow, this Judeo-Christian idea {in Judaism, a lamb must be sacrificed to make right those who have sinned, while in Christian faith, Jesus is likened to a lamb in the same way} is found in the Chinese characters that were created a couple thousand years before Jesus existed.

How is this possible? My best guess is...God. Revealing himself to people d…

Lost For Words, Not Vanity

The OED Online has this wonderful little button called "Lost for Words?" which takes you to a random entry. I got a good-er on my first try.

mho. n. The cgs unit of conductance, equal to the conductance of a body with a resistance of one ohm; a reciprocal ohm. (A resistance of R ohms is equivalent to a conductance of 1/R mhos.)

Just down the street lives the word mianserin:
n. tetracyclic antidepressant with sedative effects, given orally as the hydrochloride; 1,2,3,4,10,14b-hexahydro-2-methyldibenzo[c,f]pyrazino[1,2a]azepine, C18H20N2.

The song You're So Vain has been in my head this evening as I contemplate getting a site counter and reread past entries that I had forgotten but find witty and wonderful.
I'm so vain
I probably think this blog is about me.
I'm so vain
I bet I think this blog is about me, 'bout me...

Missing It

Over the past month, I have had many spiritual conversations with people. One of the questions I often ask is, "What do you think Christianity is all about?"

girl from Turkey: "You don't believe in abortion or premarital sex, and you think family is important."

girl from China: "My landlords are Christians. I asked them, but they didn't really tell me what it is about."

girl from India: "I went to a Christian school for 11 years. I know the Lord's prayer, and I like to sing hymns."

blonde girl: "It's like other religions. It gives hope for when things are crappy."

church-going girl: "Well, I go to church and I pray. I try to know God."

other girl: "My friends who are Christians go to church and stuff...I don't think you have to believe [the Bible] to be a Christian."

Catholic girl: "I don't really know how to explain it." As we talked further, I shared with her what the Bible teaches about…

2 Unfortunate Things

Our water is slightly off-coloured this morning. Perhaps due to yesterday's storm? I know I'm not going to die from brushing my teeth, but still...

My earring hole (not "hearing hole" as someone once thought I said) is still infected. I think it's been infected since mid-summer. If my body weren't so antagonizing towards foreign objects, I might re-pierce my nose. But this summer has solidified the fact that it will never happen.

Perhaps I'll follow my dad's sarcastic suggestion and get a tattoo instead.

Update: at 8:45pm I find out there is a boiled water advisory in effect today. This is after the women's social, where I clearly served apparently contaminated water/drinks. Whoops.

Poor, Sweet Brolly

My goodbye gift from the one and only Rebecks was a lovely faux-tartan umbrella. Handy and compact, it was unique and fun. He served me faithfully over the past month. I ventured out into today's deluge of wind and rain, and this is what's left of my umbrella:
I am sad to see him go. (Thanks again to Rebecks for such a lovely and practical gift). Fortunately, I am not without an umbrella. On my arrival here, the fantastic girls in the leadership Bible study blessed me with a wonderful array of gifts, including this sturdy and sunny looking wet-weather-protective gear. Notice especially the real wood handle. It is handmade here in Vancouver, and although I am scared I will break or lose it, I must admit, I'm excited to put it to use.

Back at the Beach

Looking out toward the Georgia Straight.
Love the colours on the sand.
That dark stream? Ducks. Hundreds of them. I wish I had a zoom and could have taken a close-up.
I like watching the tide come in and splash up on the rocks. The spray hit my camera.
This seawall is the backyard to a multi-million dollar house. I was going to take pictures of the house, but then I noticed the security cameras.

Remembrance Day

The amount of love I have for my grampie is immense. We just spoke briefly on the phone, and as always, he made me both smiley and teary-eyed. In honour of Remembrance Day, here is an article that I wrote for the UofG paper last year.
If I were a non-biased reporter, this article would be succint and simple:In November of 1939, George Fisher and one of his friends transferred from the naval reserves to the Carleton-York Regiment, based in St. Stephen’s, NB. From there, they went to Woodstock, then Camp Aldershot for training. He landed in England before his 21st birthday, and spent the next two years in commando and defense training. June of 1943 found Fisher and his regiment traveling to north Africa before their invasion of Sicily on July 5. From there, the young machine gunner fought north through Italy to France, up to Belgium, helped bring freedom to Holland, and fought on into Germany before the war ended.He, unlike many, returned home to his family. He married, raised two boys, …

Redeeming Love

Tonight, I grabbed a book, a box of tissues (for my cold, not for crying purposes), curled up on the couch and read. The whole thing. This is one of my favourite novels of all time, and yes, I shed a couple of tears. But I didn't use the tissues to wipe them. Sometimes, I like the feeling of a single tear falling down the side of my face.

Redeeming Love is a powerful statement of love on two levels. It is the most striking portrayal that I have ever read of a man's sacrificial and committed love.- it is beautiful and realistic, and neither shies from sex nor sensationalizes it. Also, it is an allegory of how deeply God loves each one of us. It is a retelling of the prophet Hosea, whom God told to marry a prostitute. When I finished, I read the author's note, as I always do. She explains the significance of writing this book in her own life, and that is another exciting story.

I wish I could convey the intensity and the beauty of this book. I do not know a girl who has read i…

Where Are They Now?

Watching TV...Home Improvement ex-star Zachary Ty Bryan is making a guest appearance on Shark. Can't wait to see how this turns out...he has aged well. A little bit chubbier than when he was 18, but still very much looks the same. (Turns out it's a bit-part and he's gone after two 30 second scenes).

George Stro-something, formerly of Much/MTV/something like that and now a CBC employee (I think he's supposed to be the hip, sexy face for my generation to tune in). And it worked...I decided to check out his show The Hour. I'm not overwhelmingly impressed tonight...first thing: a song making fun of Ted Haggart, which on one hand I understand, but it also makes me sad. I forget what show I was watching earlier this week, but I quote: "You can't make fun of anyone these days!" "Christians. And black people." Also, my friend Alison has a stellar blog with thoughts stemming from this scandal.

Next up: Deepak Chopra, a new-age guru, who is introdu…

Bus Ads, Bowling, and Balls of Exercise

Bus ads are usually of inferior quality. I find this one hilarious, although I have no inclination toward buying the product (Crest with Scope).

Lonely Existentialist Moose:

Moose seeks partner withfresh perspective to search for answers to the universal questions in life. (deep breath here) Primarily - what is the plural of me? Is it "meese?" - "Meeses?" "Mooses?" "Moosi?" Seriously! Hell is not knowing the plural of yourself. How can I find love if I can't put a label on "we?"

(sigh) Exploring the great truths...that's what counts.


Who knew that 5-pin bowling is a strictly Canadian phenomenon? I went with Wendy and posse on Saturday night: Of the 16 of us, 4 were Canadians...Wendy topped the first game with 169! (I had a measly 82) But I had already topped my previous score by halfway through the next game, and ended off with something like 137. Props to us Canadians, for a fun variation on a universal game.


I bought an …

My Day

2 churches and 3 sermons later, I've got some food for thought. [how is that possible? you ask...1 sermon was online!]

The two churches I went to today couldn't possibly have been more different:

evening church morning church

-98 years old -1.5 years old
-big 'ol building -meets in a theatre
-sang hymns -sang songs w/in the last 5 years
-congregation of 60(second service) -congregation of 250
-predominantly hippies -predominantly yuppies
-many community programs -focus on relational interactions

But you know what? They were worshipping the same God. In both churches, I felt both at home and out of place. I found both churches exciting and frustrating. Thankfully, it's not up to me…


Turned on the telly while I ate my lunch. Saturday afternoon...the only thing on that's any good is some British football. So good. An attempt to play-by-play:

White player is down, play goes forward, he stays down.
Ref does nothing.
Blue player notices and kicks the ball out the sideline.
White player gets helped.
White's throw-in - thrown directly back to Blue's goalie.
Play resumes.

Now that is a gentlemanly moment.


Once again, an entry was started and then just about scrapped. It was to be replaced with:

(in whining voice) It's hard to be the new person!

End of pity-party.

Then I realized that would not replace, but actually completely negate the scrapped entry. So I unscrapped the scrapped entry and have included it here for your perusal. Because otherwise...I would be serving the very things I need to deny (thank you, Wendy, for yet more truth-speaking and spirit-convicting).

I have been thinking and have come to some conclusions.

1. I am narcissistic. Far more than I would like to admit. I think about myself often. As someone said this evening, "I am my own greatest lover." I contemplate how I look, how I dress, how I am perceived by others, what I want to do next, what I will be like in 5 years, what I am good at, why people like me...I sometimes think about my plans for the next two days while others are praying. I look at myself in almost every store front, just to make sur…

The Un-blog

I wrote a post tonight about the serious thoughts about life in the big city that have been rolling around in my mind since the weekend. But then I deleted it, because I realized that - well, I'm not sure what I realized. Maybe that some things are better communicated not online? Or that some things are meant to be processed internally. Or maybe it means nothing at all.

And so this is a non-post.


Here are some exerpts from things I've read in the last 48 hours:

(from Master Plan of Evangelism)
They [the disciples] were not hand-shaking emissaries maintaining the status-quo of complacency.

Evangelism is not an optional accessory to our life. It is the heartbeat of all that we are called to be and do. It is the commission of the church which gives meaning to all else that is undertaken in the name of Christ.

(from Christianity Today's interview with John Stott)
[on the recent boom in church growth]
The answer is "growth without depth." None of us wants to dispute the extraordinary growth of the church. But it has been largely numerical and statistical growth. And there has not been sufficient growth in discipleship that is comparable to the growth in numbers.

[on our secular western culture]
I think we need to say to one another that it's not so secular as it looks. I believe that these so-called secular people are engaged in a quest for at least three things. The …

Two Thoughts

Many serious thoughts are conglomerating in my mind, and a thoughtful post is in the works. Until then, I have two irrelevant (but not irreverant) thoughts to share:

1. I watched SNL on Saturday, since I was getting an extra hour of sleep. Not only was it hosted by Hugh Laurie, who is both an excellent grouchy doctor and somewhat humourous comedian, but the musical guest was Beck. In the theme of twos, here are the highlights of his performance:
i. there was a matching marionette band that mimicked the dress and actions of the live performers. brilliant!
ii. for his second number, he played his guitar while his band sat at a table and brought rhythms to life in plates and glasses and tapping was amazing and wondrous and like being at Stomp again. only not live. and much shorter.

2. My roommate has an old Palm Pilot (a PalmV, I believe) that she no longer uses, but doesn't want to throw it out as it is still good. Since I am her roommate, I am the first candidat…


Tonight is the end of the week. I should have lots of exciting things to say. But right now...I don't. It was a good week. And I am glad it's the weekend. I'm really looking forward to church on Sunday. I would like to find a church to call my own. And a few more friends would be nice too.

I did make a couple of fun jewelry pieces also. I like them. It's amazing what you can do with a piece of shell and some wire.

P.S. Dead mouse on the balcony. Good thing my roommate has a brother. He will take care of it.


I've decided to coin a new word, to describe a new class of people. They're a class that is quite widespread in Vancouver, and here is what I mean when I say someone is a "hip-uppie:"

They hold to some of the "hippy ideals" but haven't let go off the pleasures of capitalism. They shop at Capers (a high-end organic grocery chain) and wear LuluLemon and American Apparel (both are fairtrade, N. American manufactured clothing brands) and probably live in my neighbourhood.They may not be married, but probably have 2 children with their partner. What else...Most likely belong to a running club or a yoga group, are spiritual but not religious. The yuppie part of their lives lies in their possessions - the nice condo or even a house!, the car that is probably more recent than 2002, the job in the downtown core. Maybe in a high-rise, definitely a suit-and-tie type office.


Tonight I watched Prison Break. Now that I have a TV, but don't have friends yet to go…

So Much For That...

After my first UBC weekly meeting last night(non-Asian count: 6), a bunch of us went out for dinner. Of course, everyone had many questions for was, "So how did you finish school already?"

Uhhhhhh. "Cause you're the same age as me: you were born in '85, right?"
Me: "Yup." Darn.

First week and the students know how old (slash young) I am. I was hoping this wouldn't come up until I was established as a leader and authority figure...but maybe it is better this way. Because now I can't hide behind the pretense of being older than I am. And as I'm established, I'll be accepted for who I am, young as I am. I think I'm actually sort of relieved.

This is a corner near my house. Notice how, instead of cutting down the trees, they take out the middles to make room for wires. And you still get the gorgeous look of a tree-lined street. This afternoon, I went for a quick trip down to the beach. Here are a couple of my favourite snaps.

More Pictures

Ok, only one picture. My bed. Garnet coloured sheets. Unbleached comforter cover. Can't wait for bedtime.

I conquered the bus today. Yes, I went all the way downtown to the Bay, where I bought linens. Priscilla Presley was about to make an appearance in the linen department to sign autographs and promoter her new line of luxury linens, so I made a fast getaway. Her PR guy needed to shave and he walked funny. Maybe it was supposed to be a saunter?

I like the bus because it is full of interesting characters. On the way downtown, the women behind me were discussing the younger one's need for rehab/detox. She is 35 and didn't want to go back to her group home. As they talked, she said, I just feel so far from the Lord. I just feel so far. To which the older woman replied, What you need is more of the Lord. Then later, on the subject of sleep: Remember, the Lord grants sleep to the ones he loves. Your mind is overtired. I almost cried listening to the deep unrest and need in this…

Virtual Tour

Living Room

Bedroom Window (balcony on the other side)

Desk Nook


Dresser/Bed (closet in the far left corner)

Sorry about the mis-order. Don't know how to fix that. I haven't put my nice comforter on the bed yet. And I'm leaning toward a red with pink undertones for sheets. Don't know where to get them though, unless I go to a local store that produces and sells bedding. Only $50 for a fitted sheet. Another $50 for a top sheet. Pillowcases are a STEAL at $12 a pop.

Quote of the day:
me: When I found out I was coming to UBC, I embraced my Asian-ness and put a charm on my cell phone. Well, I took it off yesterday because it was scratching the phone. But I had it on there for months!
steph: If you were really Asian, you would have bought a new phone instead.

On Settling In

Walked around my neighbourhood today and ran some errands. As I’m walking down 4th after leaving Bell World, I do a double take of a girl ahead of me on the sidewalk. There have been several times I’ve seen people I thought for a second I knew, but then I realize, Duh. You’re in Vancouver. You aren’t going to see anyone you know. Well, I proved myself wrong. There in front of me was a girl from Clarissa and one of my Powell classes! Bizarre. She’s from Victoria, I think, in town for a couple days to see her brother and a friend off to S. America. I went into Chapters and used a gift card for some mad savings – a couple desk drawer organizers, regularly $14.99 each for $.98 – booyah. And a book by Dionne Brand: $32.95 marked down to $4.99. She’s a prof at Guelph and a renowned Canadian author, so I thought I’d give her a try. Also stopped in Pier 1 and a looked in the windows of a couple ritzy home décor stores. My room is at a standstill until I pick an accent colour. Black furniture,…

A Thought on Tears

I haven’t cried in awhile. I haven’t let myself feel much of anything. I’m afraid that once I let in one bit of sadness or sorrow or longing, I’ll be so overwhelmed that I won’t know what to do with myself. But lately, I’ve found myself fighting tears when I listen to music that speaks of the beauty of God, the riches that wait in heaven, and intimacy with the One who loves me more than I can imagine. There’s a piece of my heart that is so desperately in need of Him. No – it’s not just a piece. It’s the entirety of my heart. Having Him in just one part of my heart is no satisfaction at all.A couple weeks ago, my friend Alison told me about a revelation that God gave her this summer (Alison, if you’re reading this – I met Stephanie today at church – she just graduated and knows you from Queen’s). Anyway, Alison was praying, asking God that He would be her heart’s Number 1 priority. A prayer some of us have probably prayed many times. But as she prayed, she realized that wasn’t the righ…

From the Cornerstone

It’s funny how the “little” things can make the biggest difference. Especially when those “little” things are related to technology. I am sitting in a café just down the street from my new place where there is free wireless. I came and bought a hot drink so that I could log onto the Internet, post a blog or two, check my email, and try to fix my computer. Apparently, my sound card is not functioning properly and I cannot play anything musical. It is killing me. However, I am writing this in Microsoft Word and not on my blog because my computer can’t seem to get an IP address from the network. If I wasn’t in a public place, I might scream. If I weren’t so dependent on this machine, I might throw it on the ground. Before I continue ranting and raving, I really should revisit the positive aspects of my move. It started off with a perfect flight – no charge for my oversized baggage, free food for breakfast, half-empty flight meant I got a whole row to myself…Got all my luggage at the othe…

Tonight At 10:15

Kirsten and I are being supermodels. You can tell by the face I am making, and by Kirsten's intense stare directly at the camera.

Kirsten's kitchen sink is not draining, and she likes to boil water in a pot. We talked in deep and meaningful analogies, but right now, I don't remember what they were, so I can't blog about them as I'd originally planned. We also laughed about my favourite scene from the LOTR trilogy, which is actually in the behind the scenes footage. If you own the DVDs and want to watch it, I will tell you where it is found.

I heart Kirsten.

{And I heart that the word heart is becoming a verb. 'Tis true.}

"the Other"

"You haven't blogged in...four days!" says my mom at lunch today. It's true. I haven't had much to say, and didn't want to just repeat my last post (I am listening to the song as I write). I've started, and almost finished, packing. I'm wrapping up loose ends, I'm trying to go hard. I've started saying goodbyes. I'm trying to figure out what furniture I need to buy. I'm getting ready to live in Vancouver.

Several people have commented on the different racial make-up of the population in Vancouver. Guelph, I can easily say, is not a diverse community. We are moreso today than when I was five, but still have a long way before we can call ourselves fully "multicultural." Vancouver, I'm told, is "bi-cultural." I'm excited to encounter Asian culture in a new way, but I also feel underprepared to be the minority (I'm told I will be, at least in the ministry on campus) . Wait. That was an obnoxious oxymoron. On…

Through the Dark

Do you ever hear a song and think, "This is my life!"? Well, every time I hear the song Through the Dark by KT Tunstall, it resonates with me and this new stage of my life.

Today, I got the official go ahead to move to BC next week (as of this moment, I am at 75% support, but am stepping out in faith). After next weekend, I don't know what my life looks like. I am leaving this behind, and stepping into the dark. But it's as beautiful to me as this song. (I highly recommend the entire album)

As I walk away
I look over my shoulder
To see what I'm leaving behind
Pieces of puzzles
And wishes on eyelashes fail

Ohh! How do I show
All the love inside my heart
For all this is new
And I'm feeling my way through the dark

I used to talk
With honest conviction
Of how I predicted my world
Gonna leave it to stargazers
Tell me what your telescope says

Ohh, what is in store for me now?
It's coming apart
For all this is new
And I'm feeling my way through the dark

Trying to find a ligh…

3 Events, 3 Thanks

Last night I was going out for dinner with Becky...we walk into Casey's, where a couple of friends are eating, to say hello. As I look around, I catch some fast movement out of the corner of my eye; it is Jess-farq, ducking behind a table...and Vaness - trying to peek over top at me. It takes me a second to realize that it isn't coincidence that they are there (Jess, I know you'd hide from me for fun), but that they are there for me. In fact, there were around 15 people who came to hang out one last time! (props to Paul, for being the only boy, even if your wife dragged you and you were only there for 10 minutes) I felt loved that you girls were there. Especially when you told me some of the things that you appreciate about me. I didn't really want to look at you, because I knew I'd cry, and I like to pretend that things aren't going to change, even though I know they will. Thanks girls, for being amazing friends...Come visit the west coast, ok?

Home for a coup…


For seven consecutive posts (6 Months Static to Summit Summary) , I used an unusually noticeable word and no one noticed. Well, no one commented on it. I have therefore concluded that one or more of the following must be true:

a) people skim my posts rather than reading them
b) people don't understand the words that I use
c) people don't care enough to point out my overuse of gangly words
d) people think I'm weird enough to do something like that intentionally and you were all waiting for me to get over it

Well, I'm over it. For now.

Deep Thoughts

I am not, by nature, a very good contemplative (meaning, I don't often just sit and think about deep things, like why the sky is blue, or how much God loves me, or what happened to the penny that I ate as a child). I like to think about these things, but after about 3 minutes, my mind wanders to some other fascinating and usually shallow topic, and I forget to be meaningful.

Thankfully, my amazing job requires me to not only think about deep things, but to actually study some of the most complex things in the world. Namely, the person of God. And as I process what I've read/realized, I thought that I might share it with all of you readers in the anonymous world of blogging.

John 13-15
God’s love goes to the very end – the “full extent.”
Love prompts service. (13:1)
Love is the evidence of our connection to Christ. (13:34-35)
Obedience is the evidence of our love. (14:15, 24)
Love results in the manifestation of Jesus in/to us. (14:21)
Jesus’ love for the Father prompted exact obe…