* not with ink

This post has been ten years in the making. It started when I graduated from my undergrad degree, and created this blog. I had just accepted my first full-time job. I was getting ready to move across the country. I bought my first cell phone. Twitter didn't exist. Facebook was just a baby. Now here I am, in 2016, about to graduate from my Masters degree. In the intervening decade, I have: Moved across the country, and then moved back east, to the largest city in our nation.  Held four different jobs - ministry, nanny, small business, college office.  Freelanced as a photographer, and as an editor/writer. Traveled to six different countries- three each in Europe and Africa. Lived in five different homes (#6 is two weeks away!).  Dated five men, and been on many other dates. Been a bridesmaid six times.  Celebrated other weddings, births, and joys.  Walked with loved ones through illness (physical and mental), death, infidelity, and other hear...

Once upon a time, I got into a very big fight with a friend. The kind of fight where bad words are said, and voices are raised, and tears are shed. We lived several provinces apart at the time, and since it was our only option, we skyped to try and resolve things. The first conversation ended in a stalemate, and we agreed to connect again in a week. At the beginning of the second call, we established something important; although her friends thought I was being a (w)itch and my friends thought she was being a baby, we were not willing to give up on our friendship. So we talked. Through the entire Super Bowl. And at the end, we still hadn't sorted things out.  I remember walking into the kitchen a little later, praying, "Jesus, if there is something I need to say or do that I haven't, show me what it is. Because I honestly don't know how to fix it." Then it hit me. So I sat down and emailed her. And she emailed me back. And it was over. The ne...

On Fridays, I don't go to school. And I don't go to work. I stay home. I still have work to do, but I do it at a desk in front of a big window, with a dog sleeping beside me. I listen to music (like Great Good Fine Ok ), I might bake, and I do laundry. Loads and loads of laundry. Sometimes I nap. I hang out with my housemates (dog and husband). This afternoon, we might go see a movie. Maybe we'll bike to the Distillery. Or grab lunch somewhere. Maybe we'll go watch the game at a pub, or maybe we'll stay home and try to survive the stress together. Any way I look at it, today is a gift. I have a full week next week, and this past one was full of job stress. I have had a cold for approximately 7 weeks (I am not even kidding you, folks). But today the sun is shining, and I'm allowed to say no to the things that are adding stress, and a resounding yes to the people and activities I love. Fridays are a gift, and sometimes they're a gift I turn down, l...

We've been married for six and a half months now, and I finally feel like I'm beginning to surface. I'm surfacing and I'm settling. I mean, I knew what I was getting myself into. I've seen marriages, I've talked about marriages, I've thought a lot about marriage. "It's not easy. It's a lot of hard work. It's a lot of compromise. It's exhausting." "I wouldn't trade it for anything. It's incredible. It's the best thing that's ever happened to me." It's all true. It's a thing, that's for sure. And I feel maybe I'm just kind of getting into the groove. Not that things are EASY, not that life has stopped throwing curveballs and not that I've outgrown my insecurities and sometimes demanding ways. There are bumps and there are hiccups and there are fights. There's misunderstanding and miscommunication and no communication - and then there's dialogue. There's honesty and there ...

It's Monday morning  afternoon, and I have exactly 4 homework assignments that need to be done today, and I have finished precisely 0 of them (though I have started 3). So obviously, it is time for me to process some thoughts via this blog...  I've been thinking this week about aging. Actually, I've been thinking about it all month, maybe longer. Something in me feels like getting married has flipped a switch, setting an unstoppable train into motion. Growing old seems inevitable now. Children may or may not happen, careers will shift, retirement is something to consider, and someday I'll be the one using a cane to get up, shuffling through the doors of a church, trying to understand a rapidly changing and unfamiliar world. I know it is isn't marriage that started this; the train has been in motion since my birth. But I felt a little ageless when I was flying solo, as if my unmarriedness was holding time back, because the only person on my to-care-for r...

For the majority of Christians around the world, it is now Lent - a season observed as we approach Easter. Though Lent has been a part of the Christian calendar for over a thousand years, it is a relatively new practice for me. So when I was asked to preach on Ash Wednesday, I was both excited and a bit nervous. On Ash Wednesday, many Christians are marked with ashes on their foreheads, and the words, "Remember you are dust, and to dust you will return," are spoken over them.    Encouraging, right?    Here's what I shared - drawing on the texts of Joel 2:1-2, 12-17 , Psalm 103:8-18 , Matthew 6:1-6,16-21 , and Psalm 51 . I went to university in my hometown, and though I lived on my own, I often borrowed my parents’ vehicle. On one particular occasion,  I borrowed it to renew my passport in a nearby town. My roommate went with me, and we had a great drive - until we got to the parking lot. It was tiny, and I was driving an 8 passenger Safari van. But I ...

I didn't mean to disappear for almost a month. Honest. I thought that life might slow down a bit once the wedding was over, and in some ways it has. But in mostly every way, life is still life. And it keeps on happening. Friends have babies. Loved ones die. Your husband is grouchy one evening and says he doesn't feel well, shivering by the time you go to bed, and unable to get out of bed or speak in the morning. It's the flu. The actual flu. The lingering flu that takes something like 14 days to fully get out of your system. So you spend the weekend caring for him. And on Saturday evening you're not feeling so peachy yourself, so you cancel all plans and sleep something like 14 hours, and by Monday you're okay-ish, and grateful that the flu didn't hit you like it hit him, and you carry on with your week, and push through the sniffles and scratchy throat because you can. And you go to the spa because you have friends that are awesome like that, and you brea...