Nadine has been away this week, celebrating her birthday with her family. How lame is that. Kidding. Nadine knows I want to be adopted into her family. Anyway, we crammed all these conversations into the weekend, and now I'm lonely. Is that better than being neurotic ? her: (talking to her laptop) Fred Savage, get away from your wife! I need a photo of just you. (pause) I don't normally ask people to step away from their wives. her: So... are you changing tonight? me: What? You mean my clothes? her: Yeah. You don't have to...but it is the same crowd as last night. me: If you were a fruit, what would you be? her: An apple. Probably a Granny Smith, because they're normal, but a little... me: Tart? her: Yeah, tart... her boy: I don't find you tart. her: Maybe if you bake me in a pie. her: I kind of peeked in your room. You weren't moving but I figured you weren't dead, so I just went about my life. her: (cell phone rings) Oh. (disappointed) It'...