* not with ink

This morning I feel happy and sleepy and I want to know why my body refuses to sleep through the night or past 7 am, even when I beg it. And I miss Vancouver and all of my friends and I wish we could watch Game 6 together, although I also like the current company I'm keeping for hockey watching here in Toronto, and I feel quite blessed and content, but I'm ready to be done my job, and WHY CAN'T I SLEEP like a normal person? And this training-with-no-end will finally come to an end, after one more day of sitting and talking and learning. I'm looking forward to it, but I am ready for it to be over and I don't have any more Saturdays I can spend inside learning now that it is summer and I need to be outside walking or I am going to die in Spain. Like Kirsten said in an email last night, "Crappity crap bang." Crappity crap bang. *Obscure Mike Birbiglia reference FTW. Favourite inside quote with Aban, who always understands how it is meant to be hea...

Yesterday I started writing a blog entry on my iPod. It was honest and sincere. But it was a bit of a rant. Possibly hurtful to some of my readers. Definitely open for misinterpretation. Then I accidentally deleted it. When I realized what I had done, I was annoyed - so much thought! So much time! But the second thought was, Perhaps this is for the best. Sometimes self-censorship is more difficult and humbling than honest vulnerability. I have a feeling that some of these ideas may still find their way here, but if they do, they will be softer, gentler forms of the same thoughts. Ones that have gone through the wringer of silence and passed the mantle of offline conversations first.

If I were an impulsive person, I would have disabled my Facebook account today. I don't know why, but I've been hit by a wave of annoyance and fatigue with its effect on my life. I may be attributing too much power to a website, and I'm sure there are "healthy" patterns of usage and interaction by many people who are better than me. Tonight, though, I just don't get the point. Not that I am not anti-technology. In fact, a great part of my desire to rid myself of Facebook is that it seems redundant. I would much rather have people interact with me via Twitter, my blog, or Google Reader. And of course, good "old-fashioned" email. And if you don't care enough to connect with me on any of these levels...then we're not actually connecting. It's just a (possibly mutual) sort of stalking. I almost wish I were more impulsive so that I had disabled Facebook and I could just shrug and say it's done and move on. But Facebook is sneaky and it...