* not with ink

(yeah, I went there. Semisonic for the win. Who doesn't secretly love this song !?) I wasn't sad about wrapping up my job, and I wasn't stressed about moving. Until twelve hours before each. And then it hit me, all the feelings. Of course, it's too late to turn back then, and I didn't want to undo either decision, but there were all these feelings, and mostly I just wanted to sleep. The last few days at work were great. I have no qualms about my decision to leave, but I did realize again that my boss and I have been in close quarters for three years, and despite the differences between us, and my lack of career interest in her business, she has been a staunch supporter and frequent encourager of me. I am grateful. Then my parents brought a van and a bed in the van, and they were troopers and my mom packs like a pro (no seriously, she is a pro), and my dad moves boxes so well, and what kind of movers also take you out for dinner? The best kind. Toda...

from October 2010. I don't miss nannying, but maybe I kind of do... I definitely miss kids. Kids are so funny and weird and irritating and adorable. C asked me today, "How are people made?" He also asked (while in the bath) if he could wash my hair. I said no, because my clothes would get wet and water would get out of the tub. He said, "Then can you take off your clothes and get in the bath with me?" The desire to wash my hair started earlier, when he was sitting on my lap after dinner. He was drinking large mouthfuls of water, and asked if he could wash my hair with it. Distracted by a conversation with his brother, I didn't answer fast enough - and he fountained a mouthful of water down my shirt.

I have not really observed Advent this year - I did for the past two years, and I'll be honest, I am missing it. December has been different than expected. Not better, not worse, just different. And now it's almost the holidays, and in 26 hours I will have a very very long weekend... It's so easy for all this holiday hullabaloo to get out of hand in my head. I have some opinions and hypotheses about Christmas in our culture and the ways I want it to look in my own life, but haven't had the time to write them all out in a thoughtful way. Also, they may stir up more conflict than I'm ready to handle :) So for now, if you haven't already seen this video, it is one of the cutest kids' nativity stories I've seen. The accents certainly don't hurt, and that little wise man toddler at the end... ACK!

Did the Monday blahs get you down? Is Tuesday being threatened by more gray clouds? No more gloominess for you. I have the antidote, via Youtube and some fun-loving families somewhere in the US. Unless you hate children, these videos will make your day. I am offering a 92% guarantee that you will laugh at least once. Karen laughed so hard she slid off her chair. Without further ado, I present to you…. KID SNIPPETS! And their sister-production, KID HISTORY!  

Every once in awhile, I see something that makes me laugh out loud, while also blowing my mind and confusing me. Earlier this week, it was a little boy at the park, wearing a shopping bag as a romper. I wanted to take a picture (I started to take a picture), but he was playing at the splash pad, and his guardian was there, and let's face it; creepy much? Thankfully, Karen was with me, and she can draw. Here is what he looked like: I do not know whether this was his mother's idea or his, and if this is supposed to somehow keep him dry? All I know is, he was quite content in his perfectly-sized grocery-bag get-up.

On Saturday, my nephew pulled out his doctor kit. After giving my wrist a bandaid, he took my temperature. "Look, Aunt Beth," as he held the thermometer inches from my face, "You have a fever." "I DO!? Oh dear! What do I do? How do I get better?" "You have to stay in bed for ten days." "Okay. I will." "Now say Ahhhhhhh." "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh." "Uh oh. You have tongue-throat." "Tongue-throat? What does that mean?" "It means your tummy will be sick for ten thousand days." "Ohhhhhhhhhhh no."  After sharing this hilarity with a friend, another friend tweeted her under-the-weather-woes this morning...and it was soon resolved that we should ask Dr. Jake for his diagnosis. So I sent him this note:  Dear Dr. Jake, I was telling one of my friends that you were an excellent doctor this weekend, and she said that she’s been feeling quite sick today. I thought maybe if I told yo...

G went into the ravine yesterday with some friends, even though I had expressly forbidden it. I told him we would discuss this with his mom when she came home. Our conversation went thusly: Mom - G, there are strange men in the ravine. G - Not where we were! Mom - If you don't believe me, we can go down and watch them and you will never want to go down there again. Me - (trying to hide a smile) Mom - I'm telling you, there are strange men there. And they like little boys. G - (looking perplexed, distracted by his quest for more chicken) Me - (still trying not to smile) C, across the room - Do they want to kidnap him? Mom - I don't know if they want to kidnap him, but they want to do SOMETHING to him... (she KNOWS I'm cracking up) C - They want to take him home and cook him and fry him for dinner!! Me - (bursts of laughter) Mom - (silently eating her chicken, totally non-plussed) Today, C and I went into the ravine. We didn't see any strange men, and he se...

America's Got Talent is interesting. Sometimes in that I-can't-look-away sense. Sometimes in that heartwarming-story sense, and sometimes in that Dang-they-good sense. I hate the first and refuse to give them any extra airplay...some people need a friend to tell them that they are not as good as they think and/or slightly delusional. And they need to learn to listen. My favourites from the episode Nadine and I watched (some of) tonight (while drinking red wine and hoping we both sleep through the night for a change). Introducing, THE SH'BOSS BOYS! "We was listenin' to the wadio and we started wapping." Also, I just want this guy to win at life. What a sweetheart. Me: "It's kind of nice to hear this song without any images of abused animals accompanying it."

Today was endlessly amusing chez nous. (It was also endlessly frustrating, but more on that in an upcoming post. This is all about the laughter.) C: Do snakes poop? Me: Yes. All animals poop. If you eat, you poop. C: But where does it come out from? Me: They have a special hole just like we do. But I'm not sure where it is, because they don't have bums like we do. C: Do alligators poop? Crocodiles? Because they don't have bums either. Me: They poop out of a special hole like snakes do. C: But where is it? Me: I have no idea. (ten minutes later) C: Where do clementines come from? Me: They grow on trees! C: Where did you come from? Me: I grew inside my mommy. C: But how did you get all your parts? Me: Pardon? C: How did you get all your people parts? Me: Um. (five minutes later) C: I'm going to read your book! Me: Ok. C: But there aren't any pictures! Me: No, there aren't. C: But how can you read it t...

Baby Baby Baby Originally uploaded by bethaf . Hello there, adorable bundle of smiles and polka dots!

1. This name and epitaph on a headstone in the cemetery: Ouisville Earlington Sears Men on earth have done their best Angels in heaven can't do better First off, the name!!!!! WOW. And that epitaph...is it a quote from something famous, or just a weirdly nonsensical platitude?? 2. This conversation with C: C: So if I had a really long nose, I could breathe underwater, right? Like at the zoo. me: Yes. Do you remember what that animal was called? C: Um, I forget. me: A tapir. C: Oh yeah. (ten minutes later) C: Mumble mumble, I could breathe underwater, right? me: Pardon me? C: So if I had a really long dinky, I could breathe underwater, right? me: No. Only a long nose. C: Or mouth. me: I guess so, but I don't know if any animals have really long mouths. Actually, pretty sure this stemmed from a memory of our initial visit to the tapir, which happened right after we saw the rhino. (Other things I don't get include the proper spelling of Qaddafi, the reason blue cheese...

During Jeopardy (teen week means easy "US-curriculum-based questions"), I commented to Nadine that I remember reading The Crucible, The Scarlet Letter and Animal Farm - in grade eight. GRADE EIGHT.* I was twelve. Turned thirteen halfway through the year. At a conservative Christian school. I applaud my teacher for allowing (encouraging) this. My love of literature was fostered. Look at me now! I would like to find my old book reports. I wonder if they're around in a box somewhere. *the same year, I was asked out for the first time. After spending an entire evening of youth group trying to avoid the request I'd been told was coming my way, I answered the boy, in all seriousness, "I'm not ready for a relationship." I think I had more common sense at twelve than I do at twenty-six.

These days, I watch a lot more kids' TV and cartoons than I ever did as a child. For weeks now, one of my favourites has been Handy Manny. Handy Manny is a helpful guy with a box of lively tools and a handful of quirky neighbours. His thing is fixing things. And teaching a few words of Spanish (of course). I have to admit, I developed a little bit of a cartoon crush. His voice is smooth like butter, he's one of the most helpful guys around, and he can fix anything ! This weekend I was chatting with my sister & sister-in-law and discovered two things. Well, three, actually. 1. They both know the show. My nephew loves it too. We have similar tastes in a lot of things. We also love the same songs on RockBand... 2. My brother-in-law goes by Manny at work, and the joke is that he is Handy Manny... When I admitted my cartoon crush, my sister jumped in, "Sorry, he's taken!" And I've got to say, my brother-in-law is a bit like Handy Manny. Helpful, gen...

I finally started reading Player One , the latest novel by Douglas Coupland, delivered as the Massey Lecture series last year (woah, feels strange to call 2010 "last year"). I am sucked in and want to skip work or make C take care of himself or something similar so that I can finish it. Thank you to my sister-in-law for gifting it to me at Christmas!! G and I were discussing his Christmas gifts while I was prepping dinner yesterday. He told me he'd gotten one book: me: From whom? G: N__________ me: Who's that? G: She lives across the street. She's a doctor. She was the first doctor to do wiener surgery. me: Oh? (not really sure what to say to that one, although I doubt his facts) G: Yeah. I'm glad it wasn't on me. me: I'm sure you are. G: I would cry for nine days if I ever had to have wiener surgery. me: Nine days, hey? I gave my nephew this super-cool art paper that already has frames printed around the edges, so you draw/paint/whatever ...

Since I woke up this morning thinking about Megamind , I thought I'd just say that if you have a child, access to a child, or are a child at heart, you should go and see it. Hilarious and heartwarming. Here is the final trailer: And the ComicCon trailer: And a clip of witty banter:

Since this week ended on a surprisingly high note (who would have thought I'd not only survive a PD Day, but actually enjoy it!?), I'm going to share some fun nannying moments before I forget again that this job can be glorious. First, G. and I are getting along great. His favourite topic of conversation is "Things I Could Beat Beth At" and the list is endless (in his mind). I have trouble knowing how to encourage him without lying and/or inflating his ego in an unhealthy way. I also love telling him how much I appreciate his patience with C. This positive reinforcement seems to help. And now a list of funny things that C. has said recently: (eating a cracker) Crunchy things get wet in your mouth. Want to feel it? (after blowing me a kiss) There were no hearts when I did that! (talking about his "girlfriend") I just walked up to her and gave her a hug. I can't believe I did that! And then I gave her a kiss! I can't believe I did t...

This week, a slight diversion from the regular format . Mostly because I was not a diligent scribe throughout the week. But still funny, and still true to Nadine's life with me. Today, I'm minding my business at work, and get this text: her: Eharmony is free all November. I dare you.... :) So I respond: me: I'm in. Also, I am not going to survive today. C is.... not listening well. Sigh. her: Yuck. Three-hour timeout. That would be my call :) me: The threat of losing a playdate is hardly working. And I WANT the playdate to happen. her: There should be boarding school for toddlers. me: I AM the boarding school equivalent. her: Oh. Right. Note to self: hire a nanny when terrible twos/threes arrive. me: I will, I think. At least part-time. Note to self - start saving for a nanny. her: Last night The Boy threatened me with the idea of having ten boys. Um... I would pull out every strand of hair on my head. And then I would become a truck driver and lea...

While nearly everyone in the (western) world is consumed with costumes and candy, I think about family on October 31st. Specifically, my mom. No, she is not a witch. (Wouldn't it be crazy though, if I told you that I grew up in a home like this ??) But she was born on Halloween. I won't get distracted by a long explanation of what our family "Halloween" traditions looked like, but they rarely (if ever) involved trick-or-treating, and while I may have pined for it as a child, I am quite content now with our unique family history. I didn't give my mom a birthday card today. This is her card, which I am letting you all read. Mom, I've been thinking a lot about you in the past two months. As I spend my day with kids, I've been remembering what it was like to be a kid. And now that I am a primary caregiver, I feel like I get glimpses into what it might have been like for you to be my primary caregiver. Except that your job was tougher; you had four kids. Twent...

This week, from Nadine ( last week from Nadine ): her: I want a baby to dress up! her: What would be frustrating for me, if I were to break up with you, is that... me: Wait. What? trying to figure out who plays Ryan Howard, The Office's "Temp." her: I think it's Ryan something... me: Yeah, that sounds right. I'll look it up.... Oh, nope. it's BJ Novak. her: But I believe it's BJ "Ryan" Novak...  half-watching America's Next Top Model her: I want Tyra's hair. It's amazing. me: I think you'd look weird with her hair. her: I think I'd look hot. Like a lynx with a perm. on the church small group I'm planning to attend for the first time me: I think their "young adults" is up to 35? Not really sure. All the people I've met who attend are young professionals. her: Oh, so you're not just meeting your future husband. You're also meeting your peers. on this Sesame Street clip :...

I'm thankful for my fantastic extended family, for my camera, for sunshine, and for cuteness.