* not with ink

From sometime in 2010. No edits. Last week, I got asked out. In Dreamland, this boy* and I had the sort of relationship where lots of people wonder if we're dating, or when we'll date, etc etc. (I think it's because Nadine told me that I am " the queen of the non-date date. " Which reminded me of this conversation and made me laugh.) As part of his I-like-you speech, he told me that a friend of his said to him, "Get gay, get out, or get balls." Meaning: if he were gay, then our friendship would make sense. If he had no plans to ever date me, he needed to not pseudo-date me. Or he needed to man up and ask me out. Clearly he picked option #3. Then he asked if he could borrow my car. Since it wasn't actually my car, but a car I had borrowed from a woman who goes to the church I grew up at (gotta love the random dream connections), I said I'd drive him. So we went to his "apartment," which was also on loan from someone else. I...

me: Today is June 15. We are halfway through the month. We are halfway through THE YEAR today! Karen: Um, no. That's the end of June. But we're almost there... me: Right... Yep. That's true. a text convo, re: a change in my plans -  me: Hey, turns out I'm coming straight home from work after all. Not sure what you're up to, but just thought I'd let you know. Karen: Dang. I guess I'll have to find a different Naked Night this week. me: Yup. And I've called dibs on tomorrow. and texting on her move-in day -  Karen:  We might have to reinforce the walls and windows in our apartment... How else will it be able to contain all of our awesomeness?? me: Our awesome is going to blow this mother down. Karen: Whoa, whoa, whoa... Let's not be hasty. We want our security deposit back. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. WHO AM I KIDDING????? me: I am literally laughing out loud on the bus. Karen: HEY BUS PEOPLE, YOU ARE MISSING SOME QUALITY ROOMMATES...

...think of it as gaining a married friend!" These were Nadine's words to me on Friday night, as I lamented (with smiles & laughter), how sad I felt to know she was leaving our apartment permanently in the morning. --- It was a lovely, lovely wedding. A great reflection of both Matt & Nadine's personalities, families, and hearts. It was kind of a blur (as weddings often are), but it was good . I am thrilled for them, for their honeymoon adventures and new life together. I am also a little bit sad. As much as this is a win-win situation, I can't deny that transitions are a real thing that come with emotions whether you want them or not. I am excited for my new roommate (VERY excited), but I also miss Nadine already. I don't really feel like my wedding-speech captured how much love I feel for Nadine, how strongly I am on Team MandN, or what a blessing her presence in my life & apartment has been for the last two years. Just needed ...

I've been slacking on the blogging, etc etc... I have a myriad of excuses, as always, which I will refrain from explaining. --- Nadine gets married on Saturday and this week is incredibly fun and full. I am sure there will be pictures and stories to follow. My new roommate, the amazing Karen, moves in the weekend after. There will be stories a-plenty, and likely pictures. I am very excited to rearrange the living room. It's like a whole new apartment! I'm also considering moving my bedroom around, but there aren't many options to try... --- Post-Lent, my sugar consumption has increased, but not nearly to pre-Lent levels. Spiritual significance aside, I think this is a good thing. The reality is, my body no longer processes/wants sugar in the same ways I used to. Spiritually/metaphorically speaking, I am craving more substantial foods and less quick-burning calories. This is also a good thing. --- I have a friend in Portland with whom I pass my days. We g-...

Back before I left for Spain, I said to Nadine, "If Matt proposes while I am gone, there had better be an email in my inbox telling me so within the first twelve hours." But Matt, kind as he is, kept my plans in mind (obviously) and proposed the week before I left. So instead, I got an email mid-trip telling me they'd picked their date, location, and a dress. (Well, Nadine picked it. Matt almost saw it, but was rescued/ambushed by a round of yelling and hustling out of the store.) On Sunday night, as we sat in the living room at our computers, Nadine said into the silence, "So. Want to be my maid of honour?" "Um, let me think about that..." I replied, "KIDDING! Yes." I was there the night Matt and Nadine met. I may have known that he was going to ask her out before she did. I saw them the night they became an "official" couple. When Nadine walked in the door and announced to me, "I think I have a crush on my boyfrie...

Prior to living with Nadine, I don't think I've ever watched an entire awards show. Now, it's tradition. But with commentary like this, who wouldn't want to watch!?!? (the opening singers come out) me: Jennifer. Florence. Martina? Yolanda...and - boobs!! her: Yeah, Christina doesn't get a name. (a commercial for an upcoming movie) me: I find Vin Diesel strangely attractive. her: To me, HELL would be a double date with Vin Diesel and Paul Walker. I think they're the most boring people. I can't stand them...If you showed me a picture of your boyfriend and it was Paul Walker, I would say, "That is a very attractive man." But if we had to have a conversation, I would be like, "You're dead inside." He's the male Jessica Alba. (Lenny Kravitz introduces Muse) I would rather you date Paul Walker than Lenny Kravitz. He wears more eye liner than any girl should. I'll find you a boyfriend by the end of the night. (B.O.B...

Nadine left for the holidays before I was ready for her to go. I have texted and emailed her this week to tell her so... Sigh. She did, however, leave behind the last of the delicious spinach dip (more to come at our upcoming "Dip-Fest" New Year's Eve), and these quotes that I've filed away over the last six months ( last week's list is here ):   her: I do not need spiritual farting at my wedding reception. her: I think I have to choose my boyfriend over drunk girls, and there is a chance that I'd have to share a bed with a gay man, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. her: I was going to say a boy has never made me breakfast, but I think Matt poured me a bowl of cereal once. her: Tell me when your bedtime is and I'll just give you the silent treatment after a certain point. her: If he were trying at all, and failing, that would be one thing... me: He's not trying. If he were, he wouldn't be failing. her: That's...

Nadine is sick. She tried blaming some of these statements on "sick brain" but such a thing does not exist. (I mentioned last week that I am thinking of ending this series. After 6 months of weekly quotes, I've decided that next week will be the last one, although I will continue to share hilarious things she & others say in a non-scheduled format) her: I'm like an old lady. I blame low estrogen. My brain goes through menopause. her: I hate big parties and clubs and I'm broke. But I like... making dip! her: I'm gonna prove to you that I'm a grown up too. me: How? her: By copying you. her: Can I have a clap-on, clap-off TV, please? Matthew, this is great, but... her: It's stupid, because vampires are COLD and they SPARKLE and those are deal-breakers for me. her: Can we just eat dip forever? I'll go on a dip diet. And get so fat. Its essentially a mayonnaise diet. Which has egg in it. That's good for you. her: I...

Nadine. Still amusing. Although I am thinking about ending this series, she is continually fantastic. But don't get the wrong idea; most of her fantastic-ness comes out in the heart-to-heart conversations that don't get pulled out of context. Toronto's Best Roommate. her : I don't know how Arabs work. I've never had one. her: Amy Grant is like my third parent. me: You've never seen a fake tattoo-sleeve before?? her: This is brilliant. I need one. her: If you're on a roll, you can make $20/hr. And my bank account is inspiring me to be on a roll. her: I'm not going to charge you for half of the remote. Since it might as well go with the TV. That way, we don't have custody issues. her: That's a deal breaker! I could never marry or date or be seen in public with a Whiffenpoof . her: Drama students...they'll make out with anything that's alive. her: I like it when actors have brains. her: I was already going to get up early to help y...

These are my relationship thoughts from over the course of my matchmaking month that I think are important and true, whether looking for love online or offline: Articulation and effort matters. If every answer on your profile is one sentence long, if you respond to my questions with vague and brief answers, I am not getting to see that you are being thoughtful about this process. I want to know that you find me actually interesting, that you are engaged and focused on our interaction, even if it is brief, and even if it is online, and even if it goes nowhere in the end. Don't be a conversation killer! Use open-ended questions (ie, ones that require more than a yes/no answer). When you have the option to make your own answer on a multiple choice question, do it! At least for 1 of the 5. The same principles apply when mingling at a party. Be your best self. Show that you have personality! Unless you don't have a personality. Which leads us to lesson #2. You are who you ar...

If you want to use the internet to find a woman like me (for the sake of this entry, I will describe myself as independent, intellectual, genuine and Jesus-loving), here are three things you should probably not write on your profile: under Additional Information You May Want To Know : “AM HORNY LOVING GUY” Ok. Let's be frank. Sex and sexuality is a part of life: particularly romantic relationships. I recognize that. I also recognize that men tend to be more open with their sexual desires than women (although that is changing in our culture – yet another topic I have thoughts enough to write an entire post on!). But as someone commented when I told them about this, “Isn't that stating the obvious? I would say you should publicize only if you're NOT a horny guy, because then you're unique.” Honestly. A sexual relationship is not the only thing that most women are looking for. Sex is a part of the bigger, holistic relationship. When you are self-professed as a “hor...

(This has grown into a series of entries, because it's not fair to ask you to read four pages of writing in one sitting. I know you won't, anyway. But this time, I've already written the whole series, so there won't be any surprise fake-outs and take-backs.) One of the tried-and-true foundations of my friendship with Nadine is that when it comes to the world of dating advice and adventures, we've got each other's backs. This looks like a variety of things. Sometimes, it is being the confidante for confusion and heartache. Sometimes it is lending a helping hand (or word) in communicating with the mysterious male species. Sometimes it is giggling joyfully. And sometimes, it is daring each other to do crazy things. I once told Nadine she should email and then go on a date with a man who approached her friend at a bar to ask if Nadine was single. And you know what? She did. I think I then helped her tell him she was uninterested in another date. So when she ...

Special Edition!!!! Are you curious about the theme? Last month, I told you all that Nadine dared me to go on eHarmony for a month of free communication. So I did. I will post my thoughts and some of my experiences within the next few days. Until then, enjoy these hilarious and sometimes unkind things that she had to say about online matchmaking. her: Oh, no! Don't do that, boys! It's so evil and rude and gross! her: WHY? Why. Are. You. her: Oh, he's white, good. (to clarify, his ethnicity confirmed that he was not a "ladykiller" acquaintance with the same name...) her: I break up with him on your behalf! "Dear ______, This is Beth's roommate. I break up with you on her behalf. Have a nice life. Good luck being right ALL the time." her: AH! Cancel! Quit! Throw your computer! (Poor shy quiet Christian man...) her: Did you ever hear back from the guy when you said, "I don't love you."? me: What? her: You kno...

Nadine and I have magnetic poetry on our fridge door. I always wanted magnetic poetry when I was small. It is very satisfying to have it as a part of my "grown-up life." Whenever I spot a new poem, I smile. This one made me laugh out loud tonight: Spiderman could not climb the tree So he cursed every blossom & his life And this is one I am quite proud of writing: I am bruised like a cliche

Nadine-quotes are now being collected for a special themed-edition that will run early in December... You'll love it. I know this, because I love it. (Hint: one of last week's quotes is on this theme. But you wouldn't know it.) Without further ado, this week's quotes: me: Okay. I'm going pee. Then to bed. (this is my way of ending our conversation late at night) her: Pee, then bed. That's the best order. her: Yeah, he has gay face. me: I have two questions for you. her: Hello. her: I like voices. her: You know how you said massive clubbing? I may have written down massive sex. What's massive sex? me: Um, I said excessive clubbing . me: (prepping for Mumford & Sons) I don't know if I have EVER been so excited for a concert! her: It's like you're me, when I was 18 and going to see Jake . her: I have never sat down to ponder the follicular situation of men.

This week's post contains a few tidbits from last week, when I changed it up . It also includes a mild-cussword. I feel the need to disclaim this, which maybe is needless, but I opted to post it because it is used in the context of quoting a game show, with an almost-appropriate response for those who are opposed to swearing. (I do censor sometimes as I choose what things to put on the blog; there are conversations that don't make it. Of course, you also miss out on all the serious conversations we have, which are plentiful and balance out all this ridiculousness. Nadine is as thoughtful and loving as she is witty and sharp.) (discussing this "news" article , a hypothetical future conversation with a hypothetical future child) her: "Mommy, what's shit-faced?" "It's go to your room, that's what it is." me: Ooh, an article on dating in Toronto ! Did you write this one!? her: It was years ago... (curls up in a ball) me: (rea...

This week, a slight diversion from the regular format . Mostly because I was not a diligent scribe throughout the week. But still funny, and still true to Nadine's life with me. Today, I'm minding my business at work, and get this text: her: Eharmony is free all November. I dare you.... :) So I respond: me: I'm in. Also, I am not going to survive today. C is.... not listening well. Sigh. her: Yuck. Three-hour timeout. That would be my call :) me: The threat of losing a playdate is hardly working. And I WANT the playdate to happen. her: There should be boarding school for toddlers. me: I AM the boarding school equivalent. her: Oh. Right. Note to self: hire a nanny when terrible twos/threes arrive. me: I will, I think. At least part-time. Note to self - start saving for a nanny. her: Last night The Boy threatened me with the idea of having ten boys. Um... I would pull out every strand of hair on my head. And then I would become a truck driver and lea...

me: I should be invisible. ( pause ) Oh wait, I already am. her: Just like Clay Aiken! (softly, crooning ) I love Clay Aiken... her: Computer; I like swearing sometimes. It's coming, just to warn you. her: I've always believed that broken food has no calories. me: That guy is a FOUNT of ideas! her: A fount of childlabour! me: I loved that movie. I thought he was dreamy. her: I know. His EYEBALLS! her: By eleven, the guys will all be buzzed and you'll look fine. her boy: Just think of how much easier your life will be once your Facebook status is "in a relationship!" her: Yeah! You should change it! me: But I'm not dating anyone... her: Fake it til you make it! her: I didn't really have time to figure out if I liked him or not. He was just straightforward, and it happened . her boy: Yes! Blitzkrieg dating! ( back-track here )

Nadine's wit was so extensive this week that I saved a few for a rainy day. Eventually there will be a week where she says nothing worth repeating. But her reputation will remain intact, thanks to my blog and my foresight. (Here's some hindsight, if you are new to this series).  (plunging her hands into a sink of dishes ) her: I mixed dish soaps. This might kill me. her: It was the most gorgeous wedding I've ever been to in my life. And it was in Scarborough, which makes no sense. her: And then I look at myself and think, I'm one of those disgusting boys who wears underwear with holes in it! But it's outerwear. her: If my last name were Virgin, I would name my daughter Sexy. her: Okay. I feel like priority number one is putting on pajamas. her: I think my middle finger is losing weight. me: What? From overuse? her: No, that would be you. her: This band is missing the Susan Doyle factor. her: You need a swooper. her: Vegan, cruelty free p...

This week, from Nadine ( last week from Nadine ): her: I want a baby to dress up! her: What would be frustrating for me, if I were to break up with you, is that... me: Wait. What? trying to figure out who plays Ryan Howard, The Office's "Temp." her: I think it's Ryan something... me: Yeah, that sounds right. I'll look it up.... Oh, nope. it's BJ Novak. her: But I believe it's BJ "Ryan" Novak...  half-watching America's Next Top Model her: I want Tyra's hair. It's amazing. me: I think you'd look weird with her hair. her: I think I'd look hot. Like a lynx with a perm. on the church small group I'm planning to attend for the first time me: I think their "young adults" is up to 35? Not really sure. All the people I've met who attend are young professionals. her: Oh, so you're not just meeting your future husband. You're also meeting your peers. on this Sesame Street clip :...