July 27, 2006

Back in BC

For the second time this summer, I am back in the beautiful province of British Columbia. I very much like this place. And I very much think I will quickly get used to living here.
Mountains: check
Sunshine: check
Ocean: check
Bugs: nope

I also think I will quickly get used to working in this ministry.
Great people: check
Great teaching: check
Great opportunities for me to grow: check
Great games/fun times: check

Tonight, I'm mostly happy with my life. I'm learning the secret of being content...that even though I will freely admit I am in process and far from arriving, that is okay. I don't have to get down on myself for not yet being perfect. I don't have to reach the standards of someone else (imaginary or real standards), and I don't have to try to prove to God how good I'm becoming.

I'm just me. Imperfect, often self-centred, Jesus-hungry, people-loving, in process, grace-covered me. It doesn't mean I stop working or doing or growing. It means I stop looking to prove my worth or growth from external sources and base my value on the relationship I have with God because of and through Jesus Christ. It's taken me enough years (almost 18), but I am starting to get it. I think.

July 24, 2006


I'm not a huge video game buff. I like them every once in awhile, and in a social setting, I'll sit down with some guys (or girls) and have a round or two of Mario Kart or Goldeneye. But I realized this weekend there is only one video game I'd ever care to own or attempt to master: Dance Dance Revolution. [thanks Sarah Primmer and DP for reintroducing me to it] Not only is it full of sweet tunes (and random non-English hits from Asia), but it's the only active video game. If I played it for 15 minutes a day...I'd be in shape in nooooo time. Plus it's hilarious to play in a group. The look of concentration, the flailing arms, the inability to feel the rhythm of a song...what could be more entertaining? It's a good thing I don't own an X-box, because I'd probably buy DDR.

And once I bought it, I'd practice incessantly. I'd hide out, determined to master it on standard. (at this point, I do alright on light. standard is a sure fail) I probably wouldn't have any friends. Except friends who play DDR. We would pull the curtains in my living room so that there wasn't any glare on the TV, put on our sweats/work out gear, and spend hours working up a sweat, turning the room into a sauna. We would have sweet dance moves for all occasions (provided we can step to either side or front/back). But we'd never go anywhere where we would use these dance moves, because we'd always be dancing in my living room. We would be like the guys in Yellow Fever (find it on YouTube), having deep and meaningful conversations while nonchalantly stepping sideways on a Friday night.

Sounds wonderful, doesn't it?

July 21, 2006

Not Much to Say

Totally vain note: I googled my name today, and was intrigued to see the lives of my namesakes: TV news anchor (in Vegas!), personal chef, b-level actress, executive director of the Missouri Bibliographic Information User System, radio reporter, biology teacher, assistant prof of research physical therapy, skills workshop co-ordinator, artist, family and personal injury lawyer, spa owner, senior academic advisor, Salvation Army STEP literacy group co-ordinator, and my personal favourite, a fictional character (in a blog entry) who kissed jacob kellerman many times.

Do you ever have an itch to say something, but have nothing to say? You want to call someone, but would run out of words after "hey." You want to write a blog or a song or communicate in some way to someone. But there's nothing to say. You're just communicated out. Sigh. I can't even add any thoughts on the other "Beth Fishers" out there.

July 19, 2006


Sometimes other people act as great excuses or licenses to behave in certain ways. For example: you've been dying to see a new movie, but could never own up to it because you are a boy/girl and boy/girls don't like this "type" of movie. Well, a girlfriend/boyfriend is the perfect excuse to watch it. Or take the 6' + man who is lying in a kiddie pool in his backyard. This is weird, right? Not if he has a two year-old daughter. Otherwise, yes. Or the university student who is making a snow angel in the middle of the park. You think they're a nut - until you notice the five-year old beside them.

This week, my grandparents have given me reason to do two socially unacceptable but actually quite enjoyable things.

On Sunday afternoon, I watched, for the first time since it came out on a double-VHS set in junior high, the one and only Titanic. I know some of you are already groaning. I was bracing myself too. But, if this is how my grandparents want to spend quality time...I will do it. I was pleasantly surprised to realize that the movie is not as terrible as we make it out to be (actually, I think this is the danger of being too popular. it gets to a point where everyone hates you, even if you are good). I still got into the movie, sad for Rose's trapped life, jealous of Jack's freedom and artistic talent, and thoughtful at the reality of the ship's rather preventable misfortune. My favourite part was actually the old lady at the end. So adorable. All in all, I didn't cry, I am not crushing on Leonardo, and there were cheezy moments, but I do think I need to give more credit where credit is due. The thing one a bajillion awards, and I guess I can sort of see why.

Today, my parents, g-rents and I drove down to the "Walter Family Theatre" for a lunch buffet and country gospel show. Out of 150 audience members, I was one of two people between the ages of (to be generous) 12 and 40. But I enjoyed it. The food was good, the musicians quite talented; I've never seen a mandocaster before, or watched a steel guitar player, and if Darren were 15 or even 10 years younger, I'd probably have a crush. The guy plays 10 different instruments and sings and has a recording studio AND works with his family (props to that)! And the music - I actually knew most of the songs. Maybe I'm a bit more country than I thought. Or maybe years of listening to "Joyful Country" every Sunday morning rubbed off on me. ("Have yourself a joyful day, and an even more joyful week!")

Two quality times with the family. Two potentially embarrassing situations. Two rather refreshing and relaxing experiences. But shh; don't tell people I actually enjoyed myself. It might affect my reputation.

Come to think of it, I don't have a clue what my reputation is. Hm.

July 17, 2006


This is not the title of my blog. The title of my blog, Not With Ink, has two meanings. One is spiritual, the other technological.

The obvious meaning is that I am keeping a record, but I'm not keeping it in ink. As I noted on my other blog (which may soon become obsolete), my brain thinks faster than I can write with a pen, and so I like that I can keep up with my thoughts on computer. Well, almost. I am a fast typer, but not that fast.

The deep meaning to my blog name: I love writing. And I love learning. Last week, I received a letter from the U of G inviting me to apply for graduate scholarships and encouraging me to continue my education. (I say this not to brag, but because it's part of the lesson.) This was exciting; I'd love to go to grad school. But I've already committed to the ministry I'm now a part of. What to do?

Later, my dad mentioned another of his coworkers who had been impressed with the writing I did last year for the student newspaper. They, and he, encouraged me to keep writing. As soon as he told me this, it clicked with a verse I'd read that same morning. 2 Corinthians 3:2 & 3:

You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by
everybody. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our
ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on
tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.

I want to write. I want to leave a legacy. But even more than I want to leave one on paper (we've given up the tablets of stone thing...) I want to leave one on human hearts. I want to write. But I'd rather write with the Spirit of the living God than ink.

So that's what I'm going to be about. Writing, but not with ink. Maybe someday God will call me to grad school. I'd like that. But unless He makes it clear, writing with ink takes second place to writing with the Spirit.

July 16, 2006


I am trying to decide if I want to switch my blog to this site.

Mitigating factors:
*the ability to tamper with my settings. I can make this page look however I want
*the ability to upload photos easily
*the loss of continuity should I change over
*the extra effort required to access this (as opposed to my msn space)
*deciding whether this will be a ministry, personal, or combo blog
*knowing anyone can access it. this is both a pro and a con

You will be glad to know that I decided against the blog address/title of obfuscatorymeanderings. I would have found it funny for a month or two. Few others would have, I'm guessing. Another post, should I decide to keep this site, will explain why I chose the name I did.