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Showing posts from September, 2006

Summit Summary

I recall when the word "Summit" conjured up nebulous images of a camping weekend with many wild and fun university students [and also an outdoor adventure/Bible college program]. This was at the beginning of my second year, before I'd ever attended the mysterious weekend. Now, with three Summits under my belt, I knew how to prepare.

Many warm clothes.

I still didn't bring enough. Thank goodness I picked up a sweet orange jacket for $4 at the sally-ann type store in Haliburton. I actually received many compliments on it, and so was glad that I made the slightly risque purchase.

I digress. I must say that I quite enjoyed the staff side of Summit. I drove up in my nice quiet car instead of a wild-crazy bus. I slept in an insulated (not heated) room, with an adjoining bathroom. I would like to note that the door on the bathroom stall (which I shared with 3 others) did not have a lock. And when I sat down, my knees touched the door, which means that tall people and boys coul…

Friday the Thirteenth

Well, it's tentatively official [is that an oxymoron?]. This nebulous phase of my life affectionately called "support raising" or "ministry partner development" is drawing to a close. Not that I'm done support raising for the rest of my life. But hopefully it will be sometime before it is my full-time job again.

My brother pointed out to me that I am flying to Vancouver on Friday the 13th. Neither of us is superstitious about these things. I was hoping that flights would be cheaper because some people are superstitious and wouldn't fly on that day. No such luck...

For those of you praying-types, I'd love prayer that God will continue to provide the support I need and that He'll increase my faith as I step out into the almost completely unknown.

Londonderry Air

I recently went through my London pics to select some of the best to print out and give to Heather as a belated birthday gift (ssshhh, don't tell; she doesn't know yet, and she doesn't read my blog).

I appreciate that these photos are not nebulous. I don't have to explain them in great detail, I don't have to point out every little detail. I don't have to ask if you "get" them. They are concrete things captured at a specific moment in history. But even though they are the same medium, taken by the same person (me), within a span of three days, each one emits a distinct sense/feel.

The British Museum is pretty much the most amazing place. It is a) free b) one of the oldest museums in the world and c) full of remarkable things. Like this ancient pottery. I could have spent days here. But not all day. I prefer short, frequent visits to one extensive tour.

This protest has been going on right outside Westminster and the Parliament buildings for quite awhile.…

Panic at the Disco

(note: using the band name does not equal a complete endorsement of their music)

Disco-slash-bedroom, that is.

I am sitting on my bed with my computer on my lap (don't worry, it's one of those portable ones...) and I am stuck in a cycle of self-defeating lies and fears. I will attempt to de-nebulous-ize these thoughts:

I can't set a date for my BC departure. Either way I lose. Either:

a) I don't have enough support and can't go and have to push back the date and get stuck in an endless stage of support raising and telling people about what I'm doing and waiting to get connected with new people and wasting my time when I should be doing spiritual things and slowly suffocating and wasting away as my world gets smaller and less settled and yet it's too enclosed and I'm never going to get there because I haven't followed all the rules and done everything right and sometimes I don't do what I know I should do and that's why I'm still here, becaus…

No Nebulosity Here

Shelly recently blogged about this site. A solid blog calling young people to live lives of passion and integrity.

Overall, I'm impressed with the blog and the boys. Too bad that they
a) are young.
b) are American.
c) strike me as the type who might track that link back here to see what good-looking Canadians are saying about them...

Church Poll

In a few short weeks, I hope to be out in BC, settling into my new life and choosing a church. I am excited for both. However, as I have looked around at churches and talked with friends, my list of "things I like in a church" is getting ridiculously long. So I thought I'd ask - if you were picking from the following list, which 3 characteristics would you choose in a church (assuming sound biblical theology)? OR what vitally important things has my list not included?

- engaging and heartfelt worship music
- culturally relevant outreach programs
- global missions perspective
- solid "careers" group
- service opportunities
- strong community
- emphatic, non-nebulous and applicable preaching
- vibrant children's program (I know I don't have children - if it's trickling down to the kids, I figure it's solid throughout)
- pastor is respected both inside and outside the church
- supportive of my ministry
- close to my home (5 blocks from the BEACH!)
- unified an…

6 Months Static

In the process of archiving my old blog, I wandered by to see what nebulous thoughts were hatching six months ago. From March 17, a prayer that I pretty much could have written tonight:

God, I'm so inadequate. I can't do this. I know you are enough, and I know you've called me here. I just...I haven't been faithful. or careful. or even caring! in how I spend my time or in my attitudes or priorities. I know you'll show up - you have promised to be faithful, and I know you desire for people to know You. But I don't want to do this - I don't want people to see me and think I'm so fantastic, to be so impressed, to think I'm something or someone I'm not. I want for you to get all the glory - from my own heart and from others. And I want to give back to you just a fraction of all that you've given me. I know it's not a matter of me being deserving - I never will be. I just want you. To treat you and love you and respect you like you d…

Upstairs in E-Town

Last night, I fell asleep listening to Shane and Shane'sUpstairs album. With my eyes closed and the damp seeping in from outside, I could have been back in my mouldy basement bedroom in Edmonton, lying on my air mattress after a late night talk with Meredith about life and Project.

I randomly bought Upstairs at Blessings in Edmonton, because I listened to part of one song and liked the guitar picking, and it was cheaper than bands I had heard of. Two years later, I am surprised the CD still works.

It was my melancholy album for the summer. It played in Meredith's alarm clock player in our tiny room while I fell asleep, while I did laundry or talked to people in our ghetto bathroom. On the computer upstairs while making food in the kitchen. In my discman while bussing it to work (except when I bussed with Karen, in which case we had many fascinating discussions). That doesn't sound like many places, but it is one of 3 albums I played repeatedly (the other two were Kirk Frankl…

Creative Juice

I haven't done any serious creative writing in a long time. Nothing more than jotting down thoughts here and there, nothing I'm overly proud of. But it's eating at me. I'm falling more in love with the written word and the power therein.

I decided to post a "postcard story" (a story that could fit on a postcard) from a class in 2nd year. Then I worried that I'd already posted it on my old blog, and it would seem really vain or cheezy or like I only have one piece of writing if I posted it again. I didn't post it. But I did find some other blogs and memories I'd forgotten about. I'm glad I found them.

I like the idea that my thoughts are out in cyber-space on a semi-permanent basis. But I have this fear that my site will disappear because I'm not maintaining it and all my thoughts and memories will be gone, and when I'm old and gray and can't remember what life was like when I was twenty-ish, it will be too late to do anything about i…


I spend too much time on blogs. So today, I decided to spend my time well and visited the library instead.

Like Katie, I heart the library.

On my last visit, I picked up a couple of Canadian books: A Complicated Act of Kindness, to which my reaction is mixed; a historical fiction called Elle, which I didn't bother finishing and don't recommend; and A Tourist's Guide to Glengarry, which I thought I'd read since I lived in Edmonton briefly, but didn't manage to finish. I also chatted it up with an old colleague (yes, I worked at the library), and discovered that this past year she attended an Alpha course with the Sally Ann and has met Jesus! She's so excited about her faith and about all that she's learning as she read's God's Word. It was great to see.

Today, I picked out:
Tom Peter's Essentials: Leadership - it's flashy and little and multi-coloured. Must be good. Plus, he's apparently an innovative genius.

Sorry, I Don't Speak French - …

Box 'o Books

Back in August, or maybe even July, I sent a box of books ahead of me to Vancouver. Last night, I was thinking of all the things inside that I sort of wish I had with me.

Heart of Darkness - the book that got me thinking about this box. So powerful. So dark. So unfortunately accurate, I think. "The horror, the horror!"

Zoolander - on VHS. With special trailers and funny clips at the end. Conversations like this:

(in a mock interview)
Zoolander: You know, originally, I was hoping the role would go to Will Smith.
Ben Stiller : Will Smith is black, Derek.
Zoolander: So? You've got a problem with that? [makes famous "Black Steel" look]

(during a mock Cribs tour of Zoolander's house)
Zoolander: This is my late dog, Hector. We had him bronzed and put to sleep. I think if I were to do it again, I'd do it the other way around. [makes famous "Black Steel" look]

A Man for All Seasons - the paperback play about Thomas More. I think I could reread this classic rig…


Back at the beginning of August, someone posted a comment on my old blog, which I haven't really been to lately...but I was there today, and I saw their comment. And since I don't know who you are, "disappointed" - if you still read my blog, I've left you a comment.

That is all. I hope you read this, whoever you are.

Blog Etiquette & Your Privacy

I had a thought last night - what are the rules/acceptable behaviours about posting things that involve others? At what point do I have to get permission or have someone sign a waiver saying I'm allowed to write about them? Where's the "privacy policy" line that is drawn (or is there such a thing)?

Can I write about a conflict with someone, if I don't say who it was with? What about an embarrassing moment? Can I talk about lessons I've learned from others' lives? What about simple memories?

And do the rules change if the person reads the blog? What if they don't read it but mutual friends do? If they don't read it at all, then is me posting about things any different than talking about them behind their backs?

edit: I don't mean this in a creepy way, like I'm about to publicize all my friends' deep secrets on the net. But if I know I'm talking about you and you know I'm talking about you, is it crossing the line even if others don…


Someday, when you move into a nursing home, I promise that I'll come and visit. Maybe I won't be driving anymore; I'll ask that nice girl from church to bring me. She's a sweet girl, so I'm sure she will. It'll be nice for her to drive me. I'll sit and look out the window and try not to worry about the traffic. We'll stop by and pick up Dave; he doesn't live too far away, and I know he'll want to see you too.

When we get to your home, the girl from church will hold the door for me and get my walker. I won't walk quite as fast then, but I won't be in such a hurry to get everywhere either. I'll sigh, maybe a bit frustrated that I can't open the door for myself.

Inside, a cheerful woman will be sitting at a desk. We'll tell her that we've come to visit you, and she'll call up to your floor.

"Someone will bring her right down for you. Do you want to wait in there?" She'll motion to the lounge, and we'll ma…

Brother Lawrence

After years of recommendations, I've finally started reading Practicing the Presence of God, written by a monk in the 17th century, I believe. It's phenomenal. I'm amazed by the heritage of the saints, the people whose footsteps I long to follow.

I consider myself as the most wretched of men, full of sores and corruption, and who has committed all sorts of crimes against his King; touched with a sensible regret I confess to Him all my wickedness, I ask His forgiveness, I abandon myself in His hands, that He may do what He pleases with me. This King, full of mercy and goodness, very far from chastising me, embraces me with love, makes me eat at His table, serves me with His own hands, gives me the key of His treasures; He converses and delights Himself with me incessantly, in a thousand and a thousand ways, and treats me in all respects as His favourite. It is thus I consider myself from time to time in His holy presence.

He complains much of our blindness; and cries ofte…


Which is worse? A day that is totally frustrating, or a day that brings you high and drops you low?

I think an up and down day is worse cause it's harder on you. Every time you start looking up, down you go. But then you can't really mope, cause something drops into your lap, and to whine at that moment is just plain ungrateful!

good things
- meeting with Heather R
- 2 unexpected supporters!
- two more appts made!
- ulti game is AMAZING - taking it to a whole new level. we play a chinch and a wedge. we cut, we throw, we catch hammers (I don't, obviously), we come back and win 16-15.
- I have a place to live in Vancouver [this isn't today, but it's sooooo good it counts]

bad things
- I don't get to meet with Kelly V, because my car won't start
- car still won't start and is back in the garage (it was there yesterday to r…


Revisiting my childhood, as I look around my friend's house out in the country, where we climbed trees, rode her horse, played with her gorgeous homemade dollhouse, swam, read, played Dutch Blitz, cooked, and generally were little girls.

Revisiting high school, when I walk into someone's house and see the giraffe mask given to me by a high school friend and sold by me at our church's recent Community Day garage sale.

Revisiting my first missions trip when I walked by The Rainforest Cafe where Heather and my family saw me off on a school bus to Florida for "The Lord's Bootcamp."

Revisiting my uni days (not so long ago) as I walk through Yorkdale Mall. Last time I was there was with a bunch of students, just after Christmas, looking for people to talk to about God and Jesus...that was the day I realized that this ministry is what I want to do, what God has gifted me to do.

Revisiting my visit to Lyds in early August, as I walk on the U of T campus with a friend who…

End of Night Thoughts

I like driving by myself at night and listening to good tunes on the radio. I'm a station hopper. Tonight, on the way home from Lyd's b-day bash (gooooo, Lyds!) I sang along with:

Sweetest Thing [classic.]
Where Do You Go (My Lovely)? [as if! I haven't heard this one in years!]
Girl, Put Your Records On [I like this.]
Can I Go Nowhere With You? [A current favourite. Best line: "I'm so cheap, I might as well be free."]
You and Me [Ooh, Sarah, another sappy one to add to your list!]
500 Miles [Sarah, OUR song. Keep it off your list.]

I think there were others. But it is late and I forget. My other end of night thoughts will have to wait.

OED - I Am A Nerd

One of the many wonderful things I learned in History of the English Language with Professor SDP is the mighty power of the Oxford English Dictionary. Not only does it offer definitions, it also gives the etymology (history) and examples, pronunciation key, quotations, AND date chart! There's also a wonderful feature: "Lost for Words" - you click on it and are taken to a random entry for your perusing delight! Tonight, I came across these words (yes, I'm reading the dictionary for fun). I dare you to try using them sometime this week.
{I've had to edit some of the fascinating content because the fonts don't show up unless you're in Mozilla. Go Mozilla.}

A plane figure with a thousand angles.
NORRISCurs. Refl. 27 A Chiliagon, whose Angles we cannot represent in a distinct view, but may clearly understand it.1724WATTSLogicI. iii. §4 (1822) 46 When we speak of a chiliagonum.1818HALLAMMid. AgesIV. iii, He brings forward, as a great discovery, the…

Marital Food for Thought

I am not into boy-bashing. I am not pointing fingers and laying blame. I think we need to be careful not to just read stats/theories, say "Yup, it's true," and expect things to be different.That is my disclaimer.

I just skimmed a couple of fascinating articles that my friend had up on her blog. They are both about marriage, specifically male reluctance toward marriage. They are controversial.
Reflecting on the Mystery of Marriage
Stop Test-Driving Your Girlfriend

Here are the most thought-provoking passages:
Mystery of Marriage

Singleness is not a sin, but deliberate singleness on the part of those who know they have not been given the gift of celibacy is, at best, a neglect of a Christian responsibility. The problem may be simple sloth, personal immaturity, a fear of commitment, or an unbalanced priority given to work and profession. On the part of men, it may also take the shape of a refusal to grow up and take the lead in courtship. There are countless Christian women who a…

Magic Show

Jamie and Jen are two of the funniest people that I know. Watch this video - a live performance at Staff Conference '06. Due to Vanessa's brilliant videography, you might want to turn your laptop sideways for improved viewing, if you happen to be on a laptop.

ed note: Vanessa is right. Much better footage here. Also, watch the other clips. Especially Shirley. And Leonard getting his head cut off. You're right, Karen, he does survive.