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Showing posts from November, 2007

Call Me Scrooge

I've been having trouble getting into the Christmas spirit. Possibly because it is not yet December. Possibly because there is no snow. Or possibly because I'm aggravated by the pressure to buy gifts for many people. And my innate inability to buy pointless or standard gifts off a list of wanted items.

Downloading Amy Grant's Christmas album from 1983 has helped. So has going to Winners to buy decorations for the upcoming house Christmas party, and baking some sugar cookies.

But I'm still not full of Christmas cheer. Or at least the cultural Christmas that says I have to spend money on people to prove my love for them. Or something of the sort.

Bah, humbug.

Risky Business

I'm not usually one to make snap decisions. Sometimes my spur-of-the-moment choices turn out well. But sometimes they don't, and I get burned. I was thinking about this today. Here are a list of some recent quick choices & their results...

1. Let's run a 5k! Sign up online for $50 for an end-of-season run.
Pro: I actually run during the fall, since I have a race to get through. And I get a free hoodie.
Con: I don't actually run the race (see #2). The hoodie snags easily.
Worth it? Not quite. But I'd do it again and hope for better results.

2. Let's eat cheap ethnic food! Thursday night supper & then Friday lunch.
Pro: Delicious and cheap meals. Two of them.
Con: My digestive tract is bothered by said meals. Couple this with a migraine, and I miss my 5k.
Worth it? No. Why do I not learn? I can't eat greasy ethnic more than once a week.

3. Let's dye my hair! Buy a box of do-it-yourself dye and go at it.
Pro: Something fun and different. Looks good.
Con: So n…


This afternoon, I went to a coffee shop to read my Bible, journal, and spend some quality time with God. I dozed off. When I woke up, I had the following conversation with God.

Sorry, God.

Beth, I love you even if you fall asleep.

I know...

So why this guilt?

I feel like things should be different.

Like you shouldn't be so relaxed around me?

Well, sort of. I mean - I feel like I should be apologizing, or proving something or being generally amazed and ultra-attentive.


Because You deserve that. You should be listened to and loved and fawned over in the most sincere way. Because I never do enough for you.

You can't do "enough" if you tried. I gave you life so you wouldn't be stuck in this cycle. I'm not here to just incur more guilt. You can't do enough and I don't want you trying. The whole point of this is that you don't have to feel inadequate anymore.

So what am I supposed to do?

Love me.

It's never enough...I try to love You. I really do.

It's n…

An American Cultural Icon

I read a great article this morning. It was about Oprah. I generally stay unopinionated when it comes to her, but I'm not really a fan. I used to watch her show when I babysat. It panders to me. But...although I'm fascinated, I don't quite like it all. As Wendy commented, "She's become her own god."

Intentional = Right?

On Saturday night, at a party with my ultimate friends, Wendy & I got into a great spiritual conversation with one of our teammates (Unfortunately, I was hampered by what I think was a migraine). His perception of right and wrong was essentially this: if you intentionally make a decision, it is right. Good and bad are relative, dependent upon what the individual dictates them to be. So long as you are aware of your choices, you are doing fine.

I disagreed. The night before (or maybe Thursday night?), I sat in the living room for a few minutes after everyone else had left for bed. I slouched on our slouchy couches and thought about life. Then I decided I didn't want to think anymore. So I got up and turned the TV on. And I started watching. Roughly 5 minutes later, I decided that this wasn't actually an appropriate way to deal with stress. So I turned it off and went to bed instead.

My ultimate friend said, no. So long as I was aware of my choice, it was perfectly fine for me…

The New FYI

Last night, one of my housemates was amazed at the multi-tasking of my desktop. I had open my email, face-crap, a couple of msn conversations, music, and some work files. Apparently, I typify my generation in its approach to these machines.

I think that I am atypical, though, in my attitude toward computer lingo. More specifically, towards instant messaging lingo. I'll admit, I'm more than a bit snobbish. Shortforms drive me bonkers. For a variety of reasons.

Disclaimer: I am not angry or intending to make fun of my friends who use these phrases - I don't get angry. Actually, I am poking fun a little. But I'm not intending to cut you down.

BRB - the only one I use with any consistency - because I generally type it as I run from the computer to whatever interruption is drawing me away. I genuinely have an excuse for not typing the entire thing. I've never said it in person-to-person conversation. More energy- & syllable- efficient is the simple "One sec"…

Into the Wild

Last night, I watched Into the Wild with some friends from church. [spoiler alert!] It was a really contemplative and thoughtful movie, and fairly tragic too. With the disclaimer that there is nudity (mostly of the non-sexual type) and some language, I'd recommend it. Basically, it follows the true story of Chris, a guy who graduates college and promptly disappears on a two year adventure of hitchhiking and exploring.

Three characters stood out to me. Each of them almost made me cry, and all were old men. The first was this man on a payphone to his wife. He was pleading with her to take him back, apologizing for some unknown spat. His time is almost up, and Chris, who is at the payphone next to him, about to call his family, passes over a quarter so he can keep talking. The man's shaking hand puts it into the slot, but within 5 seconds, the woman on the other end hangs up. I'm left doubly sad - at this lonely and regretful old man, and at Chris, who passes up one more chanc…

A Rather Relevant Email...

From a work-related email I received this morning. The only thing I would modify is that "going green" is actually a part of "going red":

The earth mourns and fades away, the world languishes and fades away; the haughty people of the earth languish. The earth is also defiled under its inhabitants, because they have transgressed the laws, changed the ordinance, broken the everlasting covenant. Therefore the curse has devoured the earth… Isaiah 24:4-6

Hardly a day goes by now where we don’t hear something about “global warming.” The changing of the earth’s temperature to the point that the ice caps are melting, bringing among other things, the threat of flooding, heat waves, forest fires, extreme weather, and even the question of the ability of some species to survive as the changes impact their natural habitat. With this comes the constant fear for the future of our children and our grandchildren, and the kind of world they will inherit.The world blames this problem …

Melting Icecaps

Last night, I watched An Inconvenient Truth. I feel more personal responsibility to change the way we treat our earth than the guys I watched it with. They figure that since Jesus is coming back before the end of the world, it doesn't really matter anyway. I think stewardship is important, whether the end of the world is inevitable or not.

This morning I read in Luke about the "Signs of the Ends of the Age." And I have to admit that I'm not really eager for Jesus to come back. I mean, I want him too. But I'm fearful for the general consequences and the massive unpleasantness that is a part of justice. Also, I think the specifics of what will happen are not as clearcut as the Left Behind series makes them out to be. I think there is a lot of ambiguity in the Bible, mixing symbolic and factual prophecies.

As I was praying about this whole thing, I wrote, "I desire that none should perish, Lord - and I often forget that you feel the same." I'm not sure h…

Lunch Break

I like the shower at my parents' place in Ontario. The spout is far above my head, and I don't have to duck to wash my hair. Here, the shower head is roughly at my shoulder blades. Were people really that short 90 years ago??

Last night I laughed a lot with my housemates. I don't remember what about exactly, but I do know that for the second time, one of us was invisible to another as they entered the room. Last time, Lynsey was under a blanket on a couch and scared Dan when she moved. This time, Wendy came in, saw Dan, Andrew & I, and a minute later commented, "Oh, Kurt! I didn't see you behind Dan..."

Bowling with my staff team was a blast this morning. During game one, I designated myself Official Team Dud, as I was the only one who didn't break 100. Game two was the official "trick bowling" game, and rules varied from the "Twinkle-toes" run to bowling from a chair to the ever-amazing Granny-bowl. We laughed. The women in the Frid…


A few favourite moments from my extended layover in Guelph:

breakfast and visiting with Jenn. Not just because Angel's makes good french toast, either.visiting with Mom, Dad, Jonathan, Stephen, Jenn & Jake. I really miss my family, and the inevitable growing up and with Mom for a birthday gift, then Jonathan for jeans. an afternoon of fun with Sarah Primmer and Heather. I think they're both fantastic, and I'm glad I matter to evening chat with Kirsten and Mindy. I feel great relief to know that I'm not alone in my fears and struggles. Having coworkers who are also friends is a good thing.

Hunny Pots

I think I have always disliked honey.

Peanut butter? Yuck.
Honey? Yuck.

I'd try every so often, hoping that things would change. But one slice of toast would turn me off for another six months.

When I gave it a shot in September, something had changed. My tastebuds had grown up, and honey was no longer sickeningly sweet with a weird after taste. It was delightful. Smooth and sticky and oh-so-yummy. I eat it every other day for breakfast.

I wish I could say the same for peanut butter.

In cookies? Delicious.
In sauce? Scrumptious.
On bread? Unpleasant.
By the spoon? Revolting.

I may be one of 3 people in the world, but I can honestly say: I don't like peanut butter, and I don't think I ever will.

Giving Up

Second day, and I'm already cheating. The random song theory isn't being fruitful. It's resulting songs that are too similar to each other. And others that I don't really like. I might just start picking the songs that I find stuck in my head.

Also, I think it's not a lack of motivation to write. More a lack of time. Actually, it might be a combination of both. Possibly the lack of time makes me too tired to turn the inspiration in my head into worthwhile verbal thoughts.