May 29, 2008

I "Less Than Three" Music *

Still on a bit of a Prince Caspian kick. I downloaded the soundtrack because I liked the final song, and because I wanted a bit more classical/instrumental music. And I am falling more in love with Call by Regina Spektor. I've woken up singing it two days running, now. Especially the first verse. I love how it builds.

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry

I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never
Been this way before
All you can do is try to know
Who your friends really are
As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light
You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye

Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and now one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget
Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes

You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye

* "less than three" gets typed out as <3 which we all know is a heart, which we all know means "love"

May 26, 2008

Prince Caspian

I made it home in 20 minutes, thanks to a lot of green lights and a slightly heavy pedal foot (shhh, don't tell Mom). But it was because I wanted to sit down and put tonight on paper so I have a record to keep my memory fresh. I wish I could videotape this evening and play it back whenever I wanted, or put it in a jar and stare at when I'm sad, or make it into some sort of cuddly creature that would be exactly what I needed on a lonely night.

Where do I even start?

I guess sitting in my car in the theatre parking lot, about to turn it off when they all drive past and I honk. I pick up a snack at the gas station and meet them inside. We get our tickets and as we head to the theatre, I suggest a magazine to entertain us while we wait.

"Magazine? I've got my PSP!" says one brother.
"You do? Me too!" chimes the other.

I roll my eyes at my sister, and we link arms as she starts telling me about the conversation I missed on the way over. We laugh and joke through commercials, and I chide them to turn off their machines when the previews start. I pull out the snacks (one of which is already done by the time the movie itself starts!) and we hunker down for 2 and a half hours of goodness.

Within the first two minutes, I am in love with the movie. I immediately view it as epic, beautiful, exciting. I think one of the things that makes the movie for me is knowing that Aslan will save the day. I am so excited, because even though there are close calls, even though there is tension, I am not afraid that the ending will be tragic. (another post on the theological underpinnings of this movie could be forthcoming but will probably never materialize)

Other things I like about the movie: Peter and Caspian. And Susan and Lucy. Do I want to be Susan or Lucy? I can't decide...They both get such lovely dresses. And great heroic moments.

I like pretty much everything else about the movie too.

It only takes about four minutes before I let out an audible gasp. They laugh at me. I laugh at me too. And I laugh at myself later, when I am literally on the edge of my seat, and when I am shaking, and when I want to cry.

The last scene undoes me because it all of a sudden connects to where I'm at. Sitting in the theatre between my sister and two brothers. Things are about to change for Edmund and Susan and Peter and Lucy. But they are tight. They fight together, they have a bond that comes from shared experience and lives and love and knowing each other. And that's what I want with my siblings.

It's what I have in a non-Hollywood sort of way. I don't have any doubt that if I needed Stephen to protect me, or Jonathan to shine his torch for me, or Sarah to ride me to Aslan (or fetch Aslan for me), they would do it.

And so, as the credits started rolling, Sarah is patting me on the arm, and the boys are laughing at my near-tears, I lean back and sigh and say, "I really love you guys."

And they reply with a grin, "I don't know which was more entertaining. Watching the movie or watching you."

So here I am, downloading the soundtrack, making a record, planning to read the series again, and wishing I could hold on to nights like tonight...

May 25, 2008

Sinking In

Somehow, the gravity of this has escaped my notice.

My sister is getting married on Saturday.
My sister is getting married on Saturday.
My sister is getting married on Saturday.

How did this happen?

I mean, I know how it happened. But how? What happened to the days when Sarah and I would yell with (not at) each other, about the plights of single women, and the state of the world, and what to do when our computers didn't work...

Ok, we only really yelled with each other about men and our frustrations with them. But we talked about most of those things, I think.

I am thrilled for my sister, but I'm mourning her loss. It just won't be the same...even though I'm used to living in a different country from her, I sense the inevitable and subtle shifts that will occur with this major life change. Maybe I'm paranoid, or over-sensitive. Maybe I'm just aware.

So, this last week, I've got to suck all the juice out of her that I can. Starting with a sibling date tomorrow night - all four of us at the movies, as instigated by my big brother - this may prove to be the highlight of my year-to-date. I really can't wait.

Woot-woot, sibling date!!!

Sometimes I Don't Hate the Phone

Friendly WestJet fellow on the phone & I had a flashback to last summer's friendly phone help... but this time, with no audience, there was no flirting.

Late Night Question(s)

Is it cheating, vanity, weird, or redundant to have a second blog? If I start another blog, do I have to abandon this one? Do I have to tell my current readers where to find my other blog? Or do I just write it til they find it?

It's way past bedtime. And I have Boston's Foreplay/Long Time stuck in my head after numerous attempts to conquer it on the Xbox tonight.

May 24, 2008

Like Dreams In The Night...

Last night (or early this morning), I had three dreams. When I woke up after the third one, I thought, I'm going to blog about these. They were rather vivid and vaguely amusing.

But ten minutes later, I couldn't remember a single one. Except I think there was a boy in the third. Rock Band was possibly in another...oh wait. That's just my daydreaming...

How is it that dreams are so....fleeting?

May 23, 2008

Wynnum Commas

I may have said this before, but Rock Band rocks my world. Now that it is sitting in my living room...I may never go outside again! Seriously though, I want to be a rockstar. Or a rockstar avatar.

May 22, 2008

A List Of

Things that leave me feeling unpleasant:

1. Hearing my voice say things I know I shouldn't.
2. Wanting to blog, but not knowing where to start or what to say.
3. Knowing I've been too social (aka, haven't had good time boundaries).
4. Wondering if I could (should) have done things differently.
5. Being misunderstood.
6. Feeling tired but unable to go to bed.
7. Second- and third-guessing myself.

May 15, 2008

Palestine VS Israel

This morning on campus, I was reminded that:

a) I am naive (ignorant?) when it comes to many of the major issues in the world today.
b) There are always two sides to every story (but truth is not merely relative).
c) People groups are never the enemy. How can a ten year-old be the enemy?

I am sad at the great difficulties we humans have when it comes to making peace and resolving conflict. I hear of it on a macro level, and I see it on a micro level in my own life.

Flip That House!

So the people who bought my childhood home have tired of it after five months. Sadness. It looks the same, but not. It is weird to think of other people living there, and weirder still to think that they are already moving. We lived there for TWENTY-SEVEN years...

May 14, 2008

Hypothetically Speaking

If you were looking to buy $10 worth of songs of iTunes, these are the songs I would recommend, assuming you've already got the basics and the classics and the uber-popular stuff.

If I Live Or If I Die - Cuff the Duke
The Dress Looks Nice On You - Sufjan Stevens
Electric Bird - Sia
Volcano - Damien Rice
The Runaways - Anberlin
Giving Up - Ingrid Michaelson
There Is A Light - Great Lake Swimmers
Beautiful You - Phil Wickham
Nowhere With You - Joel Plaskett Emergency
If One of Us Should Fall - The Slip

(Tuesday morning edit: How could I forget MuteMath!!!??? Phil Wickham is out, and MuteMath's Stall Out is in.)

If you had $11, I would throw in something by Mat Kearney. I've finally caved and started listening to him, and I think he's great. (oh, and Dan - I think your new layout is great too)

May 13, 2008

Thank You, Kelley's Mix CD!

I've been learning this past year, that it is the small things that make or break the days. On the weekend, this video made my day. I can't believe I have been missing this song my whole life. (Yes, this song is as old as I am.) Who doesn't love a cowboy riding a white steed?

You and me, both, and me, both.

May 10, 2008

Grand River Sale

Grand River Sale
Originally uploaded by bethaf.
Aka - Reason #3 I love using an SLR - the portrait lens!

(All three photos from a visit to St. Jacob's Market this morning.)


Originally uploaded by bethaf.
Aka - Reason #2 I like using an SLR - big swathes of red still look good.

Box of Stash

Box of Stash
Originally uploaded by bethaf.
Aka, Reason #1 I love using an SLR - look at the lights!

Oh, And By The Way...

I really like laser tag. I don't know why or how I manage to do alright in it, but I do. And it makes me happy. Possibly because winning makes me happy.

Even when I don't know if I'm winning or not, being in that smoke-filled, darkly-lit, music-pumping space, checking around corners before I move - it makes my heart beat faster. There's a thrill to it that is just so fun.

But it's not remotely associated with violence in my mind. I am clearly unlike the male species, as someone explained it as "like Halo, but in real life. And you better not beat me over the head with the laser (laugh)." That makes me shudder...I eschew violence on most levels. The only exceptions are a little bit of pushing in sports (hockey, soccer, basketball...), and laser tag. It's just not violent to me. It's tag. :)

Of course, it really does help when I win. Did I mention that I won?

May 7, 2008

Hurrah for Picasa!

furniture clinic
Originally uploaded by bethaf.
I've wanted to do this ever since I took this shot last summer. Thanks to Picasa, I finally can. I know it's not very professional software, but the good one I got last summer is still a mystery. This one is uber user-friendly, and if I'm just messing around, it'll do. If I decide I want to show or sell prints...then I'll have to upgrade.

For now, I am happy. And I'm looking forward to another photo shoot or two this summer.

May 4, 2008

Settling - Again


Now, Round 4 - Waterloo. A little bit more responsibility, a little less comfortable, a little more confident and a little less young.

I've felt restless these past few days at home, and wonder if it's because of my cold, or because I still don't know how to exist in two separate worlds. I would like to learn how that works, or if it can.

I am once again considering the purchase of a DSLR. This time, more seriously. I borrowed my coworker's tonight just to get a feel for it. I really like the 50mm prime lens.

The dilemma is that I'd been planning on buying new bedroom furniture. Buying a new bed is not negotiable. I need a better mattress than the things I've been sleeping on recently. But the rest of it...I could go cheaper. Craigslist maybe. Note to self: I need to make an actual budget of how to spend my money from the government.