* not with ink

If I want to "catch-up" with my normative blogging rates (based on a quick overview of the numbers on this site, where I've been writing since 2006), I would need to write two posts a day for the entire month of December . Not gonna happen. But I do hope to write a few more entries than I have this past month. There are thoughts in my head that I want to share - some unfinished "Big Conversation" posts, an update or two on me and Jesus. Also my job dreams, and volunteering if I can figure out how to not cross the privacy lines, and then maybe even a funny story or two about boys. I may also ask for your input on a few things, like: what should I do with my life, job-wise?  does anyone want to participate in some fun life-challenges with me? and who wants to set me up with their mature-but-not-boring guy friends? Here's the tiny little thing, though. I have realized that one of the reasons* I've been writing less is that I've been hearing...

It's not too late to join the B-Sides Music Exchange . About half a dozen of us have uploaded our albums, and there is still time to add yours in! In case you're teetering on the edge, I thought I'd offer you my mix in streaming format. And know that of all the mixes, mine is the worst. So if this is passable, the others will be even more enjoyable. Beth's Best B-Sides from bethaf on 8tracks Radio .

"Team. Team, team, team, team, team. I even love saying the word team." – Denholm Reynholm, The IT Crowd* The unexpected excitement in my life these days is this: sports. I am enjoying my twice weekly outing across town to lace up my cleats and run around for an hour, then trek home through the dark (and cold). That is an understatement. I am loving it. It is shaping up to be the highlight of my winter. I show off my bruises**, I grin on the subway, I lie in bed thinking about strategies. It started in August, when perusing the Toronto Ultimate Club’s website…they were hosting a tournament in 3 days. A hat tournament. And they needed women. The beauty of a hat tournament is that the teams are completely mixed by the organizers, so signing up by myself was no big deal. Relatively. I showed up to Varsity Stadium, where a light rain was falling…I thought I’d hate the rain, but it turns out I’m becoming less of a whiny baby. Anyway, at some point in the day, our ...

Chatting with my American friend Teagen this morning, and conversation turned to tomorrow's holiday. She expressed concern about the current big-meal plan, wondering if the plans will be amenable to all involved.... Teagen: as i said, hopefully it will all work out : ) me: i'm sure it will. Besides, Thanksgiving isn't thanksgiving without a bit of tension and drama, right???   (ha.) Teagen: it's true. that's why i always get annoyed with people that avoid their families on thanksgiving. DEALWITHIT. wait, that deserves a hashtag #DEALWITHIT me:  yes. your uncle only wants to watch NFL and not talk to anyone? #DealWithIt the kids are running around screaming because they each ate 3 pieces of pie? #DealWithIt your grandma fell asleep at the table? #DealWithIt that's family. it's how we roll. #DealWithIt Teagen: The turkey is over/under-cooked #dealwithit NO ONE IS HELPING WITH THE DISHES??? #DEALWITHIT you don't like pie? TOOBAD #deal...

Any chance you, my delightful Guelph reader, were walking along Edinburgh near Speedvale the other day and said hello to my Grampie? He didn't recongize you (his memory is not as sharp as it once was), but apparently you had read about him online and called him "Grampie," which means you must have visited this site once or twice... We're just curious about who it was. It makes him so happy when people say hello, so please, feel free to do so anytime!!

All day, my work computer has been prompting me to reboot because of recently installed patches. I have delayed it at least a dozen times, because I have too many important tabs open . So, for my own sake (and your curiousity/education) here they are: Music I want to listen to . Apparel Industry Trends -  looking at forced & child labour in clothing production Once Was Lost - an online store that gives 50% of proceeds to support adoptive families, including my friends Amelia & Varun . 3 Cords - an online store featuring handmade goods from women in Haiti. God is not "everywhere" - a theological conversation with a friend. Self-taught 15 year-old engineer from Sierra Leone . I want to watch the video. End of the Line - an article about the ICU shared by my nurse-friend Laura. Joan Didion on keeping a notebook .

Some of you have tuned into the All-Christmas-All-the-Time radio stations or set your ipods to Genre: Holiday. I know this. I am not one of you, although I don't mind that many people have started "preparing" for the holidays. If, however, you are like me, you are listening to a little bit of everything...and looking for some new songs. In which case, this is your lucky day. Remember back in March, I hosted a little music exchange ? Well, it was a great success (hopefully everyone who participated agrees!) and I've decided it's time for another round! Here are the guidelines: Let me know you want to participate, and I will hook you up with Dropbox if you aren't already using it. Select ten-ish songs. (8 min, 12 max) Songs and artists don't have to be "new," but you cannot include more than 2 songs that appear on other albums (incentive to submit early!!) Upload your album to the shared folder on Dropbox by December 31, 2012 (your...

February 28, 2013 is a special day for two reasons.  First, my Grampie will turn 94. Yesterday, he marched in the Remembrance Day parade with many other veterans. He said he probably won't march next year. He also implied he probably won't be around for it next year. A distinct possibility, but one I don't like to think about.  You all know that my Grampie is one of my greatest heroes. I would like to sit down and share some thorough and thoughtful stories about yesterday - his Scripture reading at church, walking with him - very out of place in the veterans' parade, and the laughter of lunch as he told stories to some of my favourite friends. But there isn't the time today to shape all those words. I have shaped them, in my mind. I shape them each time I hug him goodbye and wonder if it might be my last visit with him. I shape them whenever I see a soldier, or when I pass a cenotaph. When Grampie does  go home to be with Jesus and his brown-eyed swee...

I was not very into the idea of process  during my university years. I liked that word about as much as I liked the words busy , bibliography,  and bills. In the decade since, I have learned that my schedule will always be as full as I let it be, that there is always boring paperwork to correspond with the interesting work, and that paying bills is an inevitable and manageable part of life. I have also learned that I will never arrive. I will always  be in process. For several years, I fought this. Sometimes, I still do. There are days I see where I want  to be, and I wonder why I can't just get there and be there immediately. Why can't I change this stubborn heart, when I want to? Why can't I get the job, when I know I'd thrive there? Why can't I be a perfect friend? What if I never get better at any of these things? These days, I try not to listen to fear or frustration (which is little more than pride proved wrong). And in doing this, I'm taking more ri...

The long bus ride to Guelph was worth it last night. Worth it to laugh with my siblings, parents and grandparents. Worth it to snuggle with the wee ones. Worth it to eat chocolate fondue by the spoonful. Worth it to celebrate my mother's 60th birthday. "I can own up to 50," she told me earlier in the day, "But I don't feel 60." I think that's fair. I like to think of her as 50ish as well. Am I the only one who finds it difficult to let my parents become the grandparents? Who sometimes feels a pang of fear that people my parents' age are retiring, slowing down, occasionally dying? I was thinking yesterday about this fear of aging, the inability to wrap my head around it and embrace it...but I'm getting to somber for this particular post. Back to the point. Here are some photos that take us back to when my mom was hardly 40...and I was maybe 10. My dad looks essentially the same today, although his glasses are slightly smaller. ...