Skip to main content

The Post That Almost Was

Yesterday I started writing a blog entry on my iPod. It was honest and sincere. But it was a bit of a rant. Possibly hurtful to some of my readers. Definitely open for misinterpretation.

Then I accidentally deleted it. When I realized what I had done, I was annoyed - so much thought! So much time! But the second thought was, Perhaps this is for the best.

Sometimes self-censorship is more difficult and humbling than honest vulnerability.

I have a feeling that some of these ideas may still find their way here, but if they do, they will be softer, gentler forms of the same thoughts. Ones that have gone through the wringer of silence and passed the mantle of offline conversations first.


Katie V. said…
Oooo, would I have been insulted? Write one where I will be insulted.
Jesskah said…
hahahahahh Katie. hahaahahahahahaahahah that's hilarious. h ahahaahahh I can hear you saying it! hahahah (I should be in bed.) hahahaha

um, Fish - I actually get this. this has happened to me a few times and I end up being glad cos it gets lost in such a mysterious/fluky way that I figure I am probably better without it. like the (use of the) word 'mantle'.
Beth said…
Katie - You would not have been insulted. I will try sometime to insult you... No, I won't. But it will probably happen anyway...

Jesskah - Yes to the losing of things that need to be lost. I give Jesus full credit for that (insulted, Katie?). And I nearly LAUGHED. OUT. LOUD. at your incontrollable-fatigue-laughter.

Popular posts from this blog

What About Travis!?

I just watched Hope Floats, the second movie in my I-really-need-to-vegetate night. Now that we have more than three channels, there are so many quality programs on TV! Like movies in the middle of the week. I enjoyed many of the lines in this movie, including:

"I went home and told my mama you had a seizure in my mouth."
(referring to her first french-kissing experience)

"Dancing's just a conversation between two people. Talk to me."
(the conversation in our living room then went,
Girl 1: Only Harry Connick Jr. could say that line without it being incredibly cheezy.
Boy: Without it being cheezy? That's all I heard. Cheez, cheez, cheez.
Girl 2: Yeah, but it was sexy, sexy cheez...sigh.)
"Better do what she says, Travis. Grandma stuffs little dogs."

Bernice: At home we had a pet skunk. Mama used to call it Justin Matisse. Do you think that's just a coincidence? All day long she would scream, "You stink Justin Matisse!" Then one day she just…

Fostering FAQ: How Can You Say Goodbye?

It seems I finally have something(s) to say... Here's the first in a short (or maybe long?) series on Fostering FAQs. If you've got a question to add, feel free to comment/email/text/message me and maybe the next post will be in response.


8:30 am on Day 4 of parenting. I woke up in a panic two hours ago because I remembered that there is a baby and I am responsible for her (at least at 6:30am, when the man beside me will snore through anything). Now, I have put on clothes and eaten breakfast. The dogs are walked, there is a loaf of banana bread in the oven. My tea is steeping. Most importantly, Dream Baby is already down for her first nap.

Despite my morning efficiency, I'm already beginning to see that even with the happiest, most easygoing, and smiliest baby, like we somehow managed to be given, parenting is a grind. On Friday night, I couldn't join friends for $5 pints at a local joint. Instead, I blearily washed the same 8 bottles again, and then made another ba…

Fostering FAQ: How Long Will She Stay/Will You Adopt Her?

Our first foster baby came with about 18 hours notice; it was respite care, which means we had him for a few days while his regular foster family had a break/dealt with a family emergency. He stayed 3 nights, long enough to come to church and have a dozen people cooing over his little sleeping cheeks.  With each new visitor to our quiet corner, I explained again that he would be going back to his foster family the next day.

Barely a week later, we got a 9am phone call with a fostering request and by the same afternoon, we were snuggling her. This time, we had her for 4 days before church came around. Again, our community was keen to see the little one we had in tow. Again, the question, "How long will she stay?" And this time, "Are you going to adopt her?"


Here in Toronto, when a child is placed in foster care, it is always for an indefinite length of time. It depends on the parents' situation, and whether they are able to make a safe home environment for th…