Skip to main content

Question (Responses Desired)

Which is more difficult/humbling/sacrificial:

Rejoicing with others when you are experiencing personal difficulties

OR

Mourning with others when you have great personal joy?


I have been mulling this over recently and can't make up my mind. Would love to hear your thoughts!

Comments

  1. Anonymous4:03 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous4:04 PM

    Definitely the first is the most difficult. Having been in both situations rather recently, I can say that I usually have a much harder time rejoicing with those who rejoice when I am particularlly struggling, than I do empathizing with those in pain.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The first, for sure. It's easier to be bitter and resentful when you already have negative feelings brewing from the difficulties.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am much worse at the first one. But I'm pretty self-centered, all the more so when I'm struggling with things. Like Mindy said, bitterness and resentment come easy that way. But with deep personal joy comes the ability and desire to empathize and walk with others through their tough times. Love flows naturally when you have real joy. Not to say that one must always be happy to be a Christian, but joy is our real home, how we were created to be, where we discern well and love other people best.

    ReplyDelete
  5. all: thanks for your thoughts! my instinctive response was to side the way you have, but here's why I paused...

    often, when I am full of joy, I end up feeling guilty for my joy and focus on that instead of on another's sorrow. OR i feel for them, but secretly think, "thank God it's not my life..."

    both these self-centred attitudes keep me from truly empathizing with the other person.

    on the flip side, however, there is no perceived guilt/arrogance in saying, "i'm really happy for you - even as i'm sad for me."

    thoughts?

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm the opposite from most, I guess. I definitely find it more humbling to mourn with someone when I'm overwhelmingly happy myself. I love being happy for other people when I'm sad for myself—takes my mind off my own problems. And like you said, Beth, I tend to feel guilty for my own joy when others are hurting.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Simone Weil: On "Forms of the Implicit Love of God"

Simone Weil time again! One of the essays in Waiting for God  is entitled "Forms of the Implicit Love of God." Her main argument is that before a soul has "direct contact" with God, there are three types of love that are implicitly  the love of God, though they seem to have a different explicit  object. That is, in loving X, you are really loving Y. (in this case, Y = God). As for the X of the equation, she lists: Love of neighbor  Love of the beauty of the world  Love of religious practices  and a special sidebar to Friendship “Each has the virtue of a sacrament,” she writes. Each of these loves is something to be respected, honoured, and understood both symbolically and concretely. On each page of this essay, I found myself underlining profound, challenging, and thought-provoking words. There's so much to consider that I've gone back several times, mulling it over and wondering how my life would look if I truly believed even half of these thin

I Like to Keep My Issues Drawn

It's Sunday night and I am multi-tasking. Paid some bills, catching up on free musical downloads from the past month, thinking about the mix-tape I need to make and planning my last assignment for writing class. Shortly, I will abandon the laptop to write my first draft by hand. But until then, I am thinking about music. This song played for me earlier this afternoon, as I attempted to nap. I woke up somewhere between 5 and 5:30 this morning, then lay in bed until 8 o'clock flipping sides and thinking about every part of my life that exists. It wasn't stressful, but it wasn't quite restful either...This past month, I have spent a lot of time rebuffing lies and refusing to believe that the inside of my heart and mind can never change. I feel like Florence + The Machine 's song "Shake it Out" captures many of these feelings & thoughts. (addendum: is the line "I like to keep my issues strong or drawn ?" Lyrics sites have it as "stro

Esse - Czeslaw Milosz

I'm on a bit of a poetry binge this week, and Monday afternoon found me lying on the luxurious shag rug of a friend's tiny apartment, re-reading some of my favourite poets (ee cummings, William Carlos Williams, Czeslaw Milosz). It is an adventure to re-open a collection and wonder what will pop out, knowing something you've read before will strike you afresh, or you will be reminded of a particularly moving line that you had somehow forgotten. Like this piece from Milosz, which floors me. Every. damn.* time. The first time I read it, I lay in a park with a friend (this same friend who offered me her rug as my reading burrow) and demanded that I share it with her. I spoke it carefully, and then, into the post-reading silence, I slammed the book shut, and dropped it as loudly as I could onto the grass. "I'm never reading anything again," I declared, "What else is there to say?" Esse I looked at that face, dumbfounded. The lights of métro st