Shopping for Free

Last night, Karen and I hosted a clothing swap. The apartment is full of boxes from her move & Nadine's wedding, but it turns out hospitality is still possible, and friends are gracious, and what this means is that our house is a place where people are welcome and I won't always try to pretend like my space looks perfectly put together.

Clothing swaps are a brilliant thing and I think we may start hosting a semi-annual one. They make so much sense to me. Here is my list of new-to-me clothing & accesories:

leather belt
gold necklace with a wing pendant (sounds strange, looks awesome)
silver cocktail ring with a marbled stone
blue pullover sweater (wearing it today!)
orange & cream striped sweater
green-striped henley (softest thing in the world)
black sleeveless top
denim button-up shirt (can't wait to pair this with black shorts & patterned tights. HELLO!)
summery floral shirt
pinstripe skirt (if ever I have an interview or actual office job)
casual dress for dancing & fun times on the town
spring coat

And I didn't spend a penny.

We have bags (BAGS) of clothing left over and I'd like to invite any Toronto-area ladies to come by this week and go through it all before we take it to Goodwill. Seriously.

And then next time, you should just come.

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Fostering FAQ: How Can You Say Goodbye?

It seems I finally have something(s) to say... Here's the first in a short (or maybe long?) series on Fostering FAQs. If you've got a question to add, feel free to comment/email/text/message me and maybe the next post will be in response.

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8:30 am on Day 4 of parenting. I woke up in a panic two hours ago because I remembered that there is a baby and I am responsible for her (at least at 6:30am, when the man beside me will snore through anything). Now, I have put on clothes and eaten breakfast. The dogs are walked, there is a loaf of banana bread in the oven. My tea is steeping. Most importantly, Dream Baby is already down for her first nap.

Despite my morning efficiency, I'm already beginning to see that even with the happiest, most easygoing, and smiliest baby, like we somehow managed to be given, parenting is a grind. On Friday night, I couldn't join friends for $5 pints at a local joint. Instead, I blearily washed the same 8 bottles again, and then made another ba…

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Barely a week later, we got a 9am phone call with a fostering request and by the same afternoon, we were snuggling her. This time, we had her for 4 days before church came around. Again, our community was keen to see the little one we had in tow. Again, the question, "How long will she stay?" And this time, "Are you going to adopt her?"

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Here in Toronto, when a child is placed in foster care, it is always for an indefinite length of time. It depends on the parents' situation, and whether they are able to make a safe home environment for th…

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This is probably the second most common question I hear about the baby currently in our care, right after, "Will you keep her?"

It comes in many forms:

"So, what's her story?"
"Is her mom in the picture?"
"How did she end up in your home?
"Is her mom a drug addict?"
"How could a mom not love such a cute baby!"

I get it. It's natural curiousity, and I know I've asked similar questions of my friends who are adoptive parents.

But here's what I'm learning: a child's story is their own. And equally as important, the parent's story is their own.

Imagine how it might feel to hear that for the foreseeable future, you are not allowed to care for your child. On top of whatever difficult circumstances you are already in - perhaps poverty, social isolation, lack of adequate housing, domestic violence, intergenerational trauma, drug or alcohol dependency, low cognitive functioning, or a myriad of other complex strug…

* not with ink

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