Shopping for Free

Last night, Karen and I hosted a clothing swap. The apartment is full of boxes from her move & Nadine's wedding, but it turns out hospitality is still possible, and friends are gracious, and what this means is that our house is a place where people are welcome and I won't always try to pretend like my space looks perfectly put together.

Clothing swaps are a brilliant thing and I think we may start hosting a semi-annual one. They make so much sense to me. Here is my list of new-to-me clothing & accesories:

leather belt
gold necklace with a wing pendant (sounds strange, looks awesome)
silver cocktail ring with a marbled stone
blue pullover sweater (wearing it today!)
orange & cream striped sweater
green-striped henley (softest thing in the world)
black sleeveless top
denim button-up shirt (can't wait to pair this with black shorts & patterned tights. HELLO!)
summery floral shirt
pinstripe skirt (if ever I have an interview or actual office job)
casual dress for dancing & fun times on the town
spring coat

And I didn't spend a penny.

We have bags (BAGS) of clothing left over and I'd like to invite any Toronto-area ladies to come by this week and go through it all before we take it to Goodwill. Seriously.

And then next time, you should just come.

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5 Rules for Being a (North) American Adult or No One Wants You to Love Yourself

5 Rules for Being a (North) American Adult
(paraphrased from a lecture by Anne Lamott, whose priest friend shared them with her many years ago)

1. Have it all together. 2. If you don't have it all together, fix whatever is broken in you so that you do have it all together. 3. If you can't fix whatever's broken, pretend that you have. 4. If you can't pretend to be fixed, don't show up - it's a bit embarrassing to the rest of us. 5. If you do decide to show up broken, at least have the decency to be ashamed of yourself.
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We are encultured towards self-loathing and self-avoidance.
Be perfect. Do it all, do it right. If you can't be better, pretend you are. Don't look any deeper. Keep busy. Keep your chin up. Keep up appearances.
It takes so much energy. It takes too much energy.
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What would happen if I just loved myself? is the question I have been asking since my last post.
It's the question I hear when I see photos of lovely fat ladies who refuse…

Fostering FAQ: How Can You Say Goodbye?

It seems I finally have something(s) to say... Here's the first in a short (or maybe long?) series on Fostering FAQs. If you've got a question to add, feel free to comment/email/text/message me and maybe the next post will be in response.

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8:30 am on Day 4 of parenting. I woke up in a panic two hours ago because I remembered that there is a baby and I am responsible for her (at least at 6:30am, when the man beside me will snore through anything). Now, I have put on clothes and eaten breakfast. The dogs are walked, there is a loaf of banana bread in the oven. My tea is steeping. Most importantly, Dream Baby is already down for her first nap.

Despite my morning efficiency, I'm already beginning to see that even with the happiest, most easygoing, and smiliest baby, like we somehow managed to be given, parenting is a grind. On Friday night, I couldn't join friends for $5 pints at a local joint. Instead, I blearily washed the same 8 bottles again, and then made another ba…

Fostering FAQ: How Long Will She Stay/Will You Adopt Her?

Our first foster baby came with about 18 hours notice; it was respite care, which means we had him for a few days while his regular foster family had a break/dealt with a family emergency. He stayed 3 nights, long enough to come to church and have a dozen people cooing over his little sleeping cheeks. With each new visitor to our quiet corner, I explained again that he would be going back to his foster family the next day.

Barely a week later, we got a 9am phone call with a fostering request and by the same afternoon, we were snuggling her. This time, we had her for 4 days before church came around. Again, our community was keen to see the little one we had in tow. Again, the question, "How long will she stay?" And this time, "Are you going to adopt her?"

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Here in Toronto, when a child is placed in foster care, it is always for an indefinite length of time. It depends on the parents' situation, and whether they are able to make a safe home environment for th…

* not with ink

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