Today's Thoughts: Uganda & Job-Hunting

Two weeks from today, I will be on a series of planes over Africa. Actually, right about now I'll be on the homestretch. The homestretch to Uganda, that is.

To say I'm excited is an understatement.

The interesting thing about this trip is that I'm not going for a safari and I'm not going for any humanitarian/aid reasons, which are generally the top motives people head to sub-saharan Africa.

I'm going for friends, and I'm going for me and I'm going because I can and because I believe that traveling with open eyes and a student's mind will inevitably change you.

Anyway. That's my philosophical tidbit for the day. My packing list has been made and I'm figuring out when to do laundry so as to have the most amount of clean clothes without having to resort to second-class outfits before I leave.

The great thing is that I'm embracing skirts and dresses this summer, but likely won't take those with me to Uganda, as above-the-knee is deemed inappropriate in Christian circles.

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I am applying for jobs and this is an exciting and terrifying thing. Exciting because I'm moving towards change. Terrifying because I hate rejection. It also means I spend even MORE of my day on the computer as I prep resumes and cover letters in my spare evenings. A tolerable but not desirable reality.

Having these applications out in cyberspace has made it easier to be (slightly) more present at work. There is an end in sight, even if it is not yet determined. I am really enjoying the thought of having a job that I can sink my teeth and heart into, an environment where I feel like I'm part of a team, and the possibility of career advancement within the same organization. This is what I'm dreaming of.

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Fostering FAQ: How Can You Say Goodbye?

It seems I finally have something(s) to say... Here's the first in a short (or maybe long?) series on Fostering FAQs. If you've got a question to add, feel free to comment/email/text/message me and maybe the next post will be in response.

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8:30 am on Day 4 of parenting. I woke up in a panic two hours ago because I remembered that there is a baby and I am responsible for her (at least at 6:30am, when the man beside me will snore through anything). Now, I have put on clothes and eaten breakfast. The dogs are walked, there is a loaf of banana bread in the oven. My tea is steeping. Most importantly, Dream Baby is already down for her first nap.

Despite my morning efficiency, I'm already beginning to see that even with the happiest, most easygoing, and smiliest baby, like we somehow managed to be given, parenting is a grind. On Friday night, I couldn't join friends for $5 pints at a local joint. Instead, I blearily washed the same 8 bottles again, and then made another ba…

Fostering FAQ: How Long Will She Stay/Will You Adopt Her?

Our first foster baby came with about 18 hours notice; it was respite care, which means we had him for a few days while his regular foster family had a break/dealt with a family emergency. He stayed 3 nights, long enough to come to church and have a dozen people cooing over his little sleeping cheeks. With each new visitor to our quiet corner, I explained again that he would be going back to his foster family the next day.

Barely a week later, we got a 9am phone call with a fostering request and by the same afternoon, we were snuggling her. This time, we had her for 4 days before church came around. Again, our community was keen to see the little one we had in tow. Again, the question, "How long will she stay?" And this time, "Are you going to adopt her?"

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Here in Toronto, when a child is placed in foster care, it is always for an indefinite length of time. It depends on the parents' situation, and whether they are able to make a safe home environment for th…

Fostering FAQ: What's Her (Mom's) Story?

This is probably the second most common question I hear about the baby currently in our care, right after, "Will you keep her?"

It comes in many forms:

"So, what's her story?"
"Is her mom in the picture?"
"How did she end up in your home?
"Is her mom a drug addict?"
"How could a mom not love such a cute baby!"

I get it. It's natural curiousity, and I know I've asked similar questions of my friends who are adoptive parents.

But here's what I'm learning: a child's story is their own. And equally as important, the parent's story is their own.

Imagine how it might feel to hear that for the foreseeable future, you are not allowed to care for your child. On top of whatever difficult circumstances you are already in - perhaps poverty, social isolation, lack of adequate housing, domestic violence, intergenerational trauma, drug or alcohol dependency, low cognitive functioning, or a myriad of other complex strug…

* not with ink

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