Skip to main content

Every New Beginning Comes From Some Other Beginning's End

(yeah, I went there. Semisonic for the win. Who doesn't secretly love this song!?)

I wasn't sad about wrapping up my job, and I wasn't stressed about moving.

Until twelve hours before each.

And then it hit me, all the feelings.

Of course, it's too late to turn back then, and I didn't want to undo either decision, but there were all these feelings, and mostly I just wanted to sleep.

The last few days at work were great. I have no qualms about my decision to leave, but I did realize again that my boss and I have been in close quarters for three years, and despite the differences between us, and my lack of career interest in her business, she has been a staunch supporter and frequent encourager of me.

I am grateful.

Then my parents brought a van and a bed in the van, and they were troopers and my mom packs like a pro (no seriously, she is a pro), and my dad moves boxes so well, and what kind of movers also take you out for dinner? The best kind.

Today Karen and I cleaned the old apartment and I hugged our superintendent goodbye, and I squeezed her daughter, who sang me a song on Sunday (while her mom was feeding us lunch) and it went like this:

See you later, alligator.
In awhile, crocodile.
Blow a kiss, jellyfish.
Toodle-oo, kangaroo.
Go home, Beff.

Yes. That is why I will miss them. Also, the meal exchange and cookie runs and all the laughter that was just eight steps away.
photo by Karen

the sweet sight of spring

But on a day like this, with sunshine and skirts and magnolia blossoms and patios, I feel excited for the summer, and hopeful about all these changes - despite my growing terror around the term "job hunt."

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Simone Weil: On "Forms of the Implicit Love of God"

Simone Weil time again! One of the essays in Waiting for God  is entitled "Forms of the Implicit Love of God." Her main argument is that before a soul has "direct contact" with God, there are three types of love that are implicitly  the love of God, though they seem to have a different explicit  object. That is, in loving X, you are really loving Y. (in this case, Y = God). As for the X of the equation, she lists: Love of neighbor  Love of the beauty of the world  Love of religious practices  and a special sidebar to Friendship “Each has the virtue of a sacrament,” she writes. Each of these loves is something to be respected, honoured, and understood both symbolically and concretely. On each page of this essay, I found myself underlining profound, challenging, and thought-provoking words. There's so much to consider that I've gone back several times, mulling it over and wondering how my life would look if I truly believed even half of these thi...

I Like to Keep My Issues Drawn

It's Sunday night and I am multi-tasking. Paid some bills, catching up on free musical downloads from the past month, thinking about the mix-tape I need to make and planning my last assignment for writing class. Shortly, I will abandon the laptop to write my first draft by hand. But until then, I am thinking about music. This song played for me earlier this afternoon, as I attempted to nap. I woke up somewhere between 5 and 5:30 this morning, then lay in bed until 8 o'clock flipping sides and thinking about every part of my life that exists. It wasn't stressful, but it wasn't quite restful either...This past month, I have spent a lot of time rebuffing lies and refusing to believe that the inside of my heart and mind can never change. I feel like Florence + The Machine 's song "Shake it Out" captures many of these feelings & thoughts. (addendum: is the line "I like to keep my issues strong or drawn ?" Lyrics sites have it as "stro...

The ROM, The Earth & Procreation

Disclaimer: This post is intended to generate discussion and a sharing of many opinions. It is NOT intended to judge or condemn anyone's life choices. I had an unexpected moment at the ROM last month. C and I were listening to a presentation for kids on wildlife conservation (or rather, I was listening, and C was eagerly anticipating what live animal would come out next), when a statement caught my attention and still hasn't let go. For most of history, the earth could provide enough resources for the earth's human population. But today, our population is growing rapidly, increasing by 250 000 people every day... Forty years from now, it will require 2 Earths to provide sustainably for our survival as a human species. But we only have 1 Earth. 250 000 people. Every day. That is roughly twice the size of my hometown. In one day. So I did a little math. (First, I rounded down to 200 000, just in case the figures were inflated or failed to account for some sort o...