Skip to main content

Emotional Hangovers & A Lack of Words



Processing my week with Nadine over a breakfast of chocolate cake, yogourt, and strawberries, I confessed that I had cried as I lay in bed this morning.

"An emotional hangover," she said compassionately.

Yes. That's precisely it.

As I wrote and prayed this morning, I had a flashback to two weeks ago. It was late on Saturday night. Probably one in the morning. I was in my parents' kitchen with a friend.

To be specific, I lay on the carpet, curled on my side, exhausted with sadness. She sat in a chair, looking equally drained. I had asked that we wrap up our night with prayer, and after I finished rambling and unloading and wondering and pleading, she prayed.

"Show me where to put my sadness."
She paused.
"Right. The cross."


church bench
Originally uploaded by bethaf.


So simple. So profound. So neglected.


It's been difficult for me to blog about serious subjects this month. While my life has a great deal of joy, there is a section of my heart that is broken and overwhelmed by the pain and sadness I feel on behalf of people that I care deeply for.

It's been difficult to walk through it all. I have been at a loss for words more frequently this year than I think ever before.



On a slightly lighter note, the absence of words for the things we want to express has pushed my friends to creativity. Two words that I would like to see brought into regular usage are:

gurd - adj. - a portmanteau of the words "good" and "hard," used to describe a situation or reality that is difficult but positive.
ex. Training for next month's marathon has been really gurd.

jorpis - adj. - a floating definition that describes an uncertainty of negative emotions, potentially encompassing "upset," "annoyed," "frustrated," "emotionally taxing," etc.
ex. I was completely surprised by the news that I was being downsized, and felt very jorpis for the rest of the day.

Comments

MLW said…
Praying for you as you "bear one anothers burdens". I so agree with you - We need to put it all at the cross and it is "So simple. So profound. So neglected"
Jesskah said…
dude..you wrote that it was a floating definition IN the definition?? next you'll be trying to nail down "graebus". Jorbis is really a slippery one ...often masquerading as jorpis or jorplis. But..I think you're onto something.
Beth said…
jesskah - i tried keep it intentionally nebulous...in my mind part of the feeling is the inability to precisely pinpoint the feelings you have at that moment.
Laura said…
I just... made a sound that was sort of like... a dramatic dinosaur playing Hamlet? I don't even know. I don't even want to talk about it. It was a combination of seeing the words 'gurd' and 'jorbis' (I can't even... I can't. What? Yes.) with their respective definitions and reading your shareables about emotional hangovers and compassionate listening and friends. And chocolate cake for breakfast. I yell-laugh-stun-screamed. But not TOO loudly. Just... yeah. And nebulous? An important word to include in as much correspondence as possible.
Friends you can pick your nose in front of are great. Friends who remind you of the power and closeness (and, more importantly, the placed-in-our-laps-availability) of the cross are blecious, and those moments liftin'.
Beth said…
laura-love!

it took me until "friends you can pick your nose in front of are great" to be confident that i knew which laura-in-my-life this comment was from.

I'm glad I made you smile and yelp. Please come hang out soon.

Popular posts from this blog

What About Travis!?

I just watched Hope Floats, the second movie in my I-really-need-to-vegetate night. Now that we have more than three channels, there are so many quality programs on TV! Like movies in the middle of the week. I enjoyed many of the lines in this movie, including:

"I went home and told my mama you had a seizure in my mouth."
(referring to her first french-kissing experience)

"Dancing's just a conversation between two people. Talk to me."
(the conversation in our living room then went,
Girl 1: Only Harry Connick Jr. could say that line without it being incredibly cheezy.
Boy: Without it being cheezy? That's all I heard. Cheez, cheez, cheez.
Girl 2: Yeah, but it was sexy, sexy cheez...sigh.)
"Better do what she says, Travis. Grandma stuffs little dogs."

Bernice: At home we had a pet skunk. Mama used to call it Justin Matisse. Do you think that's just a coincidence? All day long she would scream, "You stink Justin Matisse!" Then one day she just…

Fostering FAQ: What's Her (Mom's) Story?

This is probably the second most common question I hear about the baby currently in our care, right after, "Will you keep her?"

It comes in many forms:

"So, what's her story?"
"Is her mom in the picture?"
"How did she end up in your home?
"Is her mom a drug addict?"
"How could a mom not love such a cute baby!"

I get it. It's natural curiousity, and I know I've asked similar questions of my friends who are adoptive parents.


But here's what I'm learning: a child's story is their own. And equally as important, the parent's story is their own.

Imagine how it might feel to hear that for the foreseeable future, you are not allowed to care for your child. On top of whatever difficult circumstances you are already in - perhaps poverty, social isolation, lack of adequate housing, domestic violence, intergenerational trauma, drug or alcohol dependency, low cognitive functioning, or a myriad of other complex strug…

Simone Weil: On "Forms of the Implicit Love of God"

Simone Weil time again! One of the essays in Waiting for God is entitled "Forms of the Implicit Love of God." Her main argument is that before a soul has "direct contact" with God, there are three types of love that are implicitly the love of God, though they seem to have a different explicit object. That is, in loving X, you are really loving Y. (in this case, Y = God). As for the X of the equation, she lists:

Love of neighbor Love of the beauty of the world Love of religious practices and a special sidebar to Friendship
“Each has the virtue of a sacrament,” she writes. Each of these loves is something to be respected, honoured, and understood both symbolically and concretely. On each page of this essay, I found myself underlining profound, challenging, and thought-provoking words. There's so much to consider that I've gone back several times, mulling it over and wondering how my life would look if I truly believed even half of these things...

Here are a few …