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Emotional Hangovers & A Lack of Words

Processing my week with Nadine over a breakfast of chocolate cake, yogourt, and strawberries, I confessed that I had cried as I lay in bed this morning.

"An emotional hangover," she said compassionately.

Yes. That's precisely it.

As I wrote and prayed this morning, I had a flashback to two weeks ago. It was late on Saturday night. Probably one in the morning. I was in my parents' kitchen with a friend.

To be specific, I lay on the carpet, curled on my side, exhausted with sadness. She sat in a chair, looking equally drained. I had asked that we wrap up our night with prayer, and after I finished rambling and unloading and wondering and pleading, she prayed.

"Show me where to put my sadness."
She paused.
"Right. The cross."

church bench
Originally uploaded by bethaf.

So simple. So profound. So neglected.

It's been difficult for me to blog about serious subjects this month. While my life has a great deal of joy, there is a section of my heart that is broken and overwhelmed by the pain and sadness I feel on behalf of people that I care deeply for.

It's been difficult to walk through it all. I have been at a loss for words more frequently this year than I think ever before.

On a slightly lighter note, the absence of words for the things we want to express has pushed my friends to creativity. Two words that I would like to see brought into regular usage are:

gurd - adj. - a portmanteau of the words "good" and "hard," used to describe a situation or reality that is difficult but positive.
ex. Training for next month's marathon has been really gurd.

jorpis - adj. - a floating definition that describes an uncertainty of negative emotions, potentially encompassing "upset," "annoyed," "frustrated," "emotionally taxing," etc.
ex. I was completely surprised by the news that I was being downsized, and felt very jorpis for the rest of the day.


MLW said…
Praying for you as you "bear one anothers burdens". I so agree with you - We need to put it all at the cross and it is "So simple. So profound. So neglected"
Jesskah said… wrote that it was a floating definition IN the definition?? next you'll be trying to nail down "graebus". Jorbis is really a slippery one ...often masquerading as jorpis or jorplis. But..I think you're onto something.
Beth said…
jesskah - i tried keep it intentionally my mind part of the feeling is the inability to precisely pinpoint the feelings you have at that moment.
Laura said…
I just... made a sound that was sort of like... a dramatic dinosaur playing Hamlet? I don't even know. I don't even want to talk about it. It was a combination of seeing the words 'gurd' and 'jorbis' (I can't even... I can't. What? Yes.) with their respective definitions and reading your shareables about emotional hangovers and compassionate listening and friends. And chocolate cake for breakfast. I yell-laugh-stun-screamed. But not TOO loudly. Just... yeah. And nebulous? An important word to include in as much correspondence as possible.
Friends you can pick your nose in front of are great. Friends who remind you of the power and closeness (and, more importantly, the placed-in-our-laps-availability) of the cross are blecious, and those moments liftin'.
Beth said…

it took me until "friends you can pick your nose in front of are great" to be confident that i knew which laura-in-my-life this comment was from.

I'm glad I made you smile and yelp. Please come hang out soon.

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