A Meal, A Video, A Painting, A Night

Last night I had dinner with the ever-lovely Katie V. I have every intention of stealing her recipe for our meal. All of my favourite things were together - mango, lime, cilantro, honey, chicken, brie...need I go on?

After dinner, we pulled out her brand-new-and-inexpensive watercolour set to do a little painting. Neither of us are particularly artistic, but she was inspired by this video to make some fun art*:

It was FUN. I like 2/3 of my painting, which is better than I'd hoped for. I want to take some art classes. I'd like to be able to draw. Or paint. I dislike my artistic incompetencies.

On the fun side, Katie and I always have great (and often entertaining) conversations:

Her: This is hard! I actually have to touch every place I want there to be colour. Whatever happened to click and fill?
Me: Ha! That is going on my blog.
Her: Yes! Mission accomplished for the evening.

Then we went for ice cream; all the sunshine demanded it. I LOVE ICE CREAM. Frozen yogourt, if you want to be precise about last night. I don't know why I can't get enough, but even when I'm freezing cold, I just can't say no.

*I am inspired by the poetry of this short film.
I feel about walks the way she feels about biking. It's my think-time.
And I'm becoming increasingly green. At least, ideologically.

The point of this post is a shout-out to Katie. And to prepare you for more enviro-friendly ranting and rambling from yours truly.

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Fostering FAQ: How Can You Say Goodbye?

It seems I finally have something(s) to say... Here's the first in a short (or maybe long?) series on Fostering FAQs. If you've got a question to add, feel free to comment/email/text/message me and maybe the next post will be in response.

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8:30 am on Day 4 of parenting. I woke up in a panic two hours ago because I remembered that there is a baby and I am responsible for her (at least at 6:30am, when the man beside me will snore through anything). Now, I have put on clothes and eaten breakfast. The dogs are walked, there is a loaf of banana bread in the oven. My tea is steeping. Most importantly, Dream Baby is already down for her first nap.

Despite my morning efficiency, I'm already beginning to see that even with the happiest, most easygoing, and smiliest baby, like we somehow managed to be given, parenting is a grind. On Friday night, I couldn't join friends for $5 pints at a local joint. Instead, I blearily washed the same 8 bottles again, and then made another ba…

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Our first foster baby came with about 18 hours notice; it was respite care, which means we had him for a few days while his regular foster family had a break/dealt with a family emergency. He stayed 3 nights, long enough to come to church and have a dozen people cooing over his little sleeping cheeks. With each new visitor to our quiet corner, I explained again that he would be going back to his foster family the next day.

Barely a week later, we got a 9am phone call with a fostering request and by the same afternoon, we were snuggling her. This time, we had her for 4 days before church came around. Again, our community was keen to see the little one we had in tow. Again, the question, "How long will she stay?" And this time, "Are you going to adopt her?"

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Here in Toronto, when a child is placed in foster care, it is always for an indefinite length of time. It depends on the parents' situation, and whether they are able to make a safe home environment for th…

Fostering FAQ: What's Her (Mom's) Story?

This is probably the second most common question I hear about the baby currently in our care, right after, "Will you keep her?"

It comes in many forms:

"So, what's her story?"
"Is her mom in the picture?"
"How did she end up in your home?
"Is her mom a drug addict?"
"How could a mom not love such a cute baby!"

I get it. It's natural curiousity, and I know I've asked similar questions of my friends who are adoptive parents.

But here's what I'm learning: a child's story is their own. And equally as important, the parent's story is their own.

Imagine how it might feel to hear that for the foreseeable future, you are not allowed to care for your child. On top of whatever difficult circumstances you are already in - perhaps poverty, social isolation, lack of adequate housing, domestic violence, intergenerational trauma, drug or alcohol dependency, low cognitive functioning, or a myriad of other complex strug…

* not with ink

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