Skip to main content

Nine Months Since I Left You

Do you know how difficult it was to not tweet, blog, or post on facebook that I was going to Vancouver this last weekend!?

The answer is very difficult.

But I had to surprise some people. And I did (mostly). I also had an unplanned opportunity to surprise an old housemate, which was exceedingly fun:

him: "But I just read your blog! You're in Toronto!"
me: "Surprise! They invented the airplane!"*

Um, I loved loved loved the weekend. As the plane descended over the city, I thought to myself, It feels good and right to be here. Am I allowed to call two places home?

Then my friends met me one corridor-corner before I was prepared for them, and the next 54 hours flew by. I won't bother to recount all the greatness that was had and the laughter that we shared. I didn't shed any tears, but they were there below the surface a few times.

I do need to record these three things:
1. Poetry needs to be in my life. Right now, Czeslaw Milosz and Margaret Atwood are knocking me off my feet. Take, for example, Milosz' Account.

2. I may have thought about which neighbourhood I'd live in if I ever moved back. And told multiple people the two relational commitments that are keeping me in Toronto for the time being.

3. In multiple conversations on the same topic, I explained my current thoughts on my life by saying, "I want to live in italics. Like, CTRL-I live." I like this way of explaining it. And I am getting keyed up for some adventures. Don't know what they'll be, but they will come.



*I didn't actually say that about the airplane, but I wish I would have.

Comments

Thom said…
I bestow upon ye full creativity liberty to retroactively modify that airplane comment. I didn't hear what you said anyway; I was too busy hugging you.
Ariana said…
I am still so sad I had to miss out on you; however, the gloating I can get out of knowing you were coming long before anyone else did will soften the pain for a while at least.
Beth said…
thom - thank you for the creative liberty! i thought i had to put the disclaimer in, since you read my blog...but apparently i didn't!

ariana - gloat away! sad to have missed you too.
Anonymous said…
Sigh. I agree. I too think about all the things I would do or where I would live. If.

I'm afraid when I go back I'll never wanna leave. I'm glad you had fun though! :-)

Popular posts from this blog

What About Travis!?

I just watched Hope Floats, the second movie in my I-really-need-to-vegetate night. Now that we have more than three channels, there are so many quality programs on TV! Like movies in the middle of the week. I enjoyed many of the lines in this movie, including:

"I went home and told my mama you had a seizure in my mouth."
(referring to her first french-kissing experience)

"Dancing's just a conversation between two people. Talk to me."
(the conversation in our living room then went,
Girl 1: Only Harry Connick Jr. could say that line without it being incredibly cheezy.
Boy: Without it being cheezy? That's all I heard. Cheez, cheez, cheez.
Girl 2: Yeah, but it was sexy, sexy cheez...sigh.)
"Better do what she says, Travis. Grandma stuffs little dogs."

Bernice: At home we had a pet skunk. Mama used to call it Justin Matisse. Do you think that's just a coincidence? All day long she would scream, "You stink Justin Matisse!" Then one day she just…

I Like to Keep My Issues Drawn

It's Sunday night and I am multi-tasking. Paid some bills, catching up on free musical downloads from the past month, thinking about the mix-tape I need to make and planning my last assignment for writing class.

Shortly, I will abandon the laptop to write my first draft by hand. But until then, I am thinking about music.

This song played for me earlier this afternoon, as I attempted to nap. I woke up somewhere between 5 and 5:30 this morning, then lay in bed until 8 o'clock flipping sides and thinking about every part of my life that exists. It wasn't stressful, but it wasn't quite restful either...This past month, I have spent a lot of time rebuffing lies and refusing to believe that the inside of my heart and mind can never change. I feel like Florence + The Machine's song "Shake it Out" captures many of these feelings & thoughts.

(addendum: is the line "I like to keep my issues strong or drawn?" Lyrics sites have it as "strong," …

Simone Weil: On "Forms of the Implicit Love of God"

Simone Weil time again! One of the essays in Waiting for God is entitled "Forms of the Implicit Love of God." Her main argument is that before a soul has "direct contact" with God, there are three types of love that are implicitly the love of God, though they seem to have a different explicit object. That is, in loving X, you are really loving Y. (in this case, Y = God). As for the X of the equation, she lists:

Love of neighbor Love of the beauty of the world Love of religious practices and a special sidebar to Friendship
“Each has the virtue of a sacrament,” she writes. Each of these loves is something to be respected, honoured, and understood both symbolically and concretely. On each page of this essay, I found myself underlining profound, challenging, and thought-provoking words. There's so much to consider that I've gone back several times, mulling it over and wondering how my life would look if I truly believed even half of these things...

Here are a few …