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No Feelings Allowed

I have a difficult time allowing and accepting negative emotions when I have made a decision, or a series of decisions, that have led me to that place. Since the decisions were in my control, the emotions ought to be also, right? Particularly if I do not regret my choices and would make them again if I had the chance.

Examples:

  • I chose to quit my job, and don't regret it. Therefore, I should not miss it.
  • I turned Boy X down. So when he gets married/finds the love of his life, I have no right to feel sad or lonely.
  • It was my decision to book every night this week with good activities. I am not allowed to feel stressed or overwhelmed by its fullness.

I know I'm not the only person who thinks & feels this way.
Who has found the solution!?

Comments

MLW said…
At the risk of seeming to over spiritualize things, I believe negativity is a tactic Satan uses to rob believers of the joy and peace God wants us to have. This is assuming the decisions made were done so knowing that it was what God wanted you to do. So what we should do is focus on the truths of God "This is where He wants me" rather than the lies of Satan ... "if only, what if, poor me etc.". If packing our nights/evenings with good things causes stress then maybe it is God saying "slow down, be still, rest ... in Me". :)
MLW said…
couple more comments, missing something is not bad, what we do with that emotion is where the problems occur. Acknowledge the emotion but focus on what you have now. Emotions are not in our control, what we do with them is. Do we allow them to grow or direct them in a self serving way or a God honouring way?
I have more thoughts but will leave them for now. A face to face conversation might be better :)
Laura said…
I really believe as we make choices to move forward in life, like quitting a job and taking a new one, will always result in some feelings of loss. I believe this has to do with us (humans) being comfortable in what we know. Change is uncomfortable but necessary. The negative emotions move us forward.

As for being sad about a boy, it's more about being sad about the general situation rather than the specific individual. Like when someone starts dating someone, it can internally highlight the lack of relationship in our own lives.

Overall, I think our discontent makes us long for heaven. That's where the solution lies. "Thank you Jesus for this discontent because it just reminds me more and more how much I need you and want you."
MLW said…
So true Laura and very well stated.
Beth said…
thanks, friends!

mlw - I think I understand what you mean, and I agree. My struggle right now comes into play with what it means to live out that theory - to give my emotions to God. I think I often deny my feelings for fear of "wallowing" or allowing negativity a hold in my life. But that is avoidance, not surrender.

laura - Yes. Loss is inevitable. I think I am coming to accept that. Now I need to accept that it is OK to mourn those losses, even as I see joy and hope in the future (both present future and heaven future).
MLW said…
hmmm... good point. Do I deny or do I surrender?

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