Skip to main content

Things That Are Saving Me

The rain, because it isn't falling as hard as last night, when I ran through the park on my way home and went straight to bed and woke up this morning with insane wet-hair bed-head and sand still between my toes.

Seeing a musical tonight. The fifth time a friend has invited me along to a show neither of us could afford, with tickets neither of us paid for.

Books, of course. Half a dozen bookmarked quotes from The Angel's Game. Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking on my floor, because I'm not quite ready to start it.

Quiet. Usually, there's an album or musical artist on my life-saving list. But right now, I prefer silence.

The Olympics are here and the office will be light-hearted and laid-back for at least two weeks.

Lying on my roommate's bed and letting the tears leak out while we talk about life and feeling insecure and disappointed. Laughing, later. 

A whole bundle of Jesus-type bloggers I wish were my friends.

A whole bundle of friends-around-the-globe who pray with me and for me and cheer me on.

Even the dream I had on Tuesday night about choosing between two churches and being hired as a "church decorator" and waking up wishing I knew where I belonged and had a new job. Because it reminds me that I'm dreaming and looking beyond my little life.

Knowing that things will change because that is what things do


Comments

Laura said…
Right now the thing that is saving me is the study of Hebrews 11 that a few of us are doing. Even though, if I am totally honest, my faith is threatening to be smaller than a mustard seed, I am encouraged that faith is what matters and it actually pleases God.(Hebrews 11:6) Friends and sunshine help too!! Oh, and ice cream.
Beth said…
Mm, I haven't been part of a really good Bible study since I left Vancouver... I would like to find/form one.

And yes, yes, yes to friends and sunshine and ice cream!!
Praise God for friends like your roommate!!! : )
Sarah Bessey said…
Lovely!
I wrote, too, about what's saving me. But as I browse the posts of others, I find truth in it of myself. Crazy how that works, and crazy how God leads us to the ones He wants us to read!!
Beth said…
Thanks, ladies. Indeed, my roommate is a blessing. And it's encouraging to read the beautiful things in others' lives.

Popular posts from this blog

What About Travis!?

I just watched Hope Floats, the second movie in my I-really-need-to-vegetate night. Now that we have more than three channels, there are so many quality programs on TV! Like movies in the middle of the week. I enjoyed many of the lines in this movie, including:

"I went home and told my mama you had a seizure in my mouth."
(referring to her first french-kissing experience)

"Dancing's just a conversation between two people. Talk to me."
(the conversation in our living room then went,
Girl 1: Only Harry Connick Jr. could say that line without it being incredibly cheezy.
Boy: Without it being cheezy? That's all I heard. Cheez, cheez, cheez.
Girl 2: Yeah, but it was sexy, sexy cheez...sigh.)
"Better do what she says, Travis. Grandma stuffs little dogs."

Bernice: At home we had a pet skunk. Mama used to call it Justin Matisse. Do you think that's just a coincidence? All day long she would scream, "You stink Justin Matisse!" Then one day she just…

I Like to Keep My Issues Drawn

It's Sunday night and I am multi-tasking. Paid some bills, catching up on free musical downloads from the past month, thinking about the mix-tape I need to make and planning my last assignment for writing class.

Shortly, I will abandon the laptop to write my first draft by hand. But until then, I am thinking about music.

This song played for me earlier this afternoon, as I attempted to nap. I woke up somewhere between 5 and 5:30 this morning, then lay in bed until 8 o'clock flipping sides and thinking about every part of my life that exists. It wasn't stressful, but it wasn't quite restful either...This past month, I have spent a lot of time rebuffing lies and refusing to believe that the inside of my heart and mind can never change. I feel like Florence + The Machine's song "Shake it Out" captures many of these feelings & thoughts.

(addendum: is the line "I like to keep my issues strong or drawn?" Lyrics sites have it as "strong," …

Simone Weil: On "Forms of the Implicit Love of God"

Simone Weil time again! One of the essays in Waiting for God is entitled "Forms of the Implicit Love of God." Her main argument is that before a soul has "direct contact" with God, there are three types of love that are implicitly the love of God, though they seem to have a different explicit object. That is, in loving X, you are really loving Y. (in this case, Y = God). As for the X of the equation, she lists:

Love of neighbor Love of the beauty of the world Love of religious practices and a special sidebar to Friendship
“Each has the virtue of a sacrament,” she writes. Each of these loves is something to be respected, honoured, and understood both symbolically and concretely. On each page of this essay, I found myself underlining profound, challenging, and thought-provoking words. There's so much to consider that I've gone back several times, mulling it over and wondering how my life would look if I truly believed even half of these things...

Here are a few …