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Farewell, Fond Friend

When I came online yesterday morning, the following email greeted me:
From: Alasdair Lindop
Date: August 21, 2012 8:50AM
Subject: disappointed
You didn't send me the Hey Ocean MP3. You quoted me in your blog without permission.
Double kick in the balls. One in each ball, to be precise.


Just to be clear, Alasdair was "friend #1."

He was online, so I messaged him.

me: i'm sorry!
  on a scale of 1-10, how upset are you really?
 Alasdair: 17
  the damage has been done
me: this is it, hey? the end of our friendship-road. over a funny quote and the fact that i didn't turn my laptop on when I got home at 10:30 last night.
 Alasdair: precisely
 me: it's only fitting, i suppose.
 Alasdair: fitting?
me: that this is how it goes down.
  over a music battle.
 Alasdair: right.
 me: and because i didn't give you enough of a platform on my blog.
  it makes sense.
in a way.
  that 5 years of friendship would end like this.
 Alasdair: what's funny is that when we first met, I dont remember ever discussing music. I mostly remember arguing about which version of The Office was best
men are fickle beasts.
 me: ha ha ha
  that is very true.
 we watched episodes of the british version on the train.
 Alasdair: indeed
  i dont remember anything else
  apart from being dismayed at the canadian staff's general lack of willing to drink much

Then the conversation continued:

Alasdair: because you're in the dock
  friendship is on the line and i'm unhappy
  like i said
  a double kick to the balls
 me: is it because i didn't mention you by name on the blog, or because i mentioned you at ALL?
  you want ALL the friendship credit? or NONE of it?
 Alasdair: because you didn't ask
  but you asked the other person
  and because i want to be named.
  i want to be known as AWESOME
 me: a. i didn't ask the other person.
  i told her after the fact, because she was still online when i posted.
  and b. i will name you next time.
 Alasdair: ha. victory
 me: or i can do a special post just for you about the end of our friendship and what a tragedy it has become.
 Alasdair: haha, that would be poignant

(See why we're friends??)
The conversation moved on, eventually. To my ultimate game the night before.

Alasdair: ultimate just frustrates me
  not being allowed to run into people is annoying
  although i like the mixed aspect
 too much accidental boob hittage though
 me: ha ha ha
  ha ha ha ha ha ha
 a. i am very guilty of accidental contact that sometimes borders on unintentional.
  b. i like playing co-ed
 c. last night, i collided with a guy as we were going for a disk - he basically had his head at my hip and grabbed my thigh to try to stop his momentum. he felt more awkward than i did, i think.
 Alasdair: haha. there are worse places to grab
 me: than the inner thigh? very few.
 Alasdair: oh. you didn't say it was the INNER ah.
  well, both sides really.
  almost a hugging of the thigh.
 Alasdair: wow
  with his head down there too?
 me: yeah, that's what i'm saying.
  although it was very brief and then over.
 Alasdair: right. next time you run into him, you should grab his crotch for balance
 me: mmmmmmm, no.
  i prefer to not have that happen.
 Alasdair: hehe
  boys crotches are apaprently lovely to grab
 me: we are so not having this conversation.
 Alasdair: its ok. you can blog it
 me: are you sure you want me to?
  i will.
 Alasdair: do it.
  i dont know how you will frame it though
 me: it doesn't need framing.
  i'll tell it like it happened.
 Alasdair: well that wont get me into trouble
 in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have used 'lovely' as the adjective there.

Eventually, it wrapped up:

and on that note, it's home time!
 me: bye, friend.
  or rather, former-friend.
Alasdair: yep. see you never.

It's a shame, really. We bonded over The Office, discovered a shared taste in indie music, and even talked about important life things like careers, travel, and Jesus. We have been friends for 5.5 years, and yet have managed to spend time together in person only once after the week we first met.

Then I didn't send him an email promptly or name him here, and it's all for naught.

(I'm pretty sure our friendship is back on, now that I've given him his moment of fame and emailed him the song he couldn't download himself...)


Laura said…
Alasdair is fun and I like fun people! "Accidental boob hittage" reminds me of that scene from The Holiday when Jack Black reaches across Kate Winslet and says, "Boob grace, accidental boob grace" but we all know what Freud says, "There are no accidents." That guy who used your inner thigh to balance himself was just checking out your pheromones.
Alasdair said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Alasdair said…
I'm sorry. References to The Holiday invalidate any comment. Few films make me gag at the mere thought of them.

Thanks for calling me fun though.
LOVE that scene from The Holiday. Jack Black just makes me laugh.

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