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Honestly.

(these are thoughts with no conclusion)

Last month, I was scrolling through my blog looking for entries related to a specific experience/time frame. It turned out that there were no such entries, which surprised me. Then I started looking for other key moments and topics, and I stumbled upon a profound realization:

I don't blog about the difficult things in my life. 

When I do mention them, it's all vague generalities or cryptic anecdotes. I may refer to feeling overwhelmed or thinking a lot about serious things (see my entry on hope from earlier this summer), but rarely, if ever, do I explain the specific situations or dilemmas that bring me to these places.
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The "tricky factor" that I think has become an excuse for avoidance is the issue of respecting other peoples' privacy. My life is never just my life. Situations almost always involve more than one person, but rather than wrestling through those murky waters, I've been sitting on the beach, high and dry. And I'm not sure I'm okay with that.

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Awhile back I had a conversation with my mom about our family. We tend to keep our problems to ourselves, put on a good face and plough ahead. Or we have a brief discussion acknowledging conflict/messiness, then put it aside and move on. This is something I'm actively trying to change in my own life, and it's certainly not easy.

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Agree or disagree: In this world, there are two types of people: "over sharers" and "overly private people," and both need to come down from their extremes and find that balanced middle ground of honesty.

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A friend of mine is in the midst of some major life-crisis. A well-intentioned friend told her that she needs to stop telling people what is going on, and trust solely in God for comfort and help. I disagree - it is most often through the community of humanity that God's comfort is experienced, and that requires honesty from people who have suffered (or are suffering). I think the Bible even says something about this.

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Last night, another friend and I were talking about intentionally taking the initiative to be honest and sincere - no half truths, exaggeration, or avoidance. It's an interesting challenge that has me thinking about the boundaries of honesty and benefits of complete sincerity. Am I known as someone who's honest? Do I see myself as someone who is actually honest?

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I don't want my blog to only be about music, funny stories, and what I'm eating for breakfast...

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...I don't have anymore thoughts at the moment, but I want to share this work-in-progress, so I'm going to hit publish and revisit this topic soon. Deal with it.*


*every time I say this, I hear my friend Jesskah's voice. And see the face/shrug she makes when she says it. And then I smile.

Comments

Ariana said…
I am in agreement with what you've said here, but I have nothing profound to add because you said it quite well.
Vanessa said…
Yes. I agree. I am definitely an oversharer.
Sometimes when with an overly private person I feel foolish for all my over sharing.
Jill B said…
I'm with Vanessa....I've been thinking about this lately too. It's hard sometime to know the line between being vulnerable and using discretion as to what to share and with whom....

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