Skip to main content

Stream of Consciousness

At the end of this work week, here are some of my thoughts and feelings:
  • I miss the interweb. I wish I weren't away from the internet for 12 waking hours each day.
  •  I feel tired. I think that 8 hours of sleep is not enough.
  •  I came up with more blog topics to write about: Player One. Prayer. Brand Loyalty. A depressing epitaph.
  • What is next?
  • I want to live my whole life believing that my best days are still ahead of me. 
  • Did I mention that I'm tired? 
  • I am impressed by my ability to remain calm in the presence of a perpetually whining child. Two grouchy children, is, however, unbearable. I dislike the way my patience disappears. 
  • Can it be springtime now?
  • My room is a disaster. When will I have time to clean it? Next weekend? Yes, next weekend.
  • I used to say I would never drink alone. I need to figure out the new modification for that rule. It was a good rule. It is a good rule. But this is the second time this month I've had a glass of wine by myself. Ok, technically Nadine also had a glass tonight. But I went into my room and closed my door and read my book and drank my wine... so, that is pretty much alone. 
  • Vancouver. India. Spain. UK. Africa. How many places can I travel to? How soon can I go? How little money can I live off of?
  • Bed. Gotta be up in 9 hours.


Mindy said…
I drink alone. Sometimes a beer or a gin martini and not because I am sad and depressed but more because I like it. People laugh at me... but that's ok. I think as long as you place a reasonable limit of some sort drinking alone shouldn't be a negative thing.
afro-chick said…
i had a dream about you last night.
i SO want to travel with you.
i miss you.

the word verification word is bleed.
Beth said…
mindy - yeah, that's where i'm my mind, drinking alone has long been associated with depression/danger. which is not necessarily true. but I DO believe in safeguards/parameters that will prevent me from making unwise choices.

Popular posts from this blog

What About Travis!?

I just watched Hope Floats, the second movie in my I-really-need-to-vegetate night. Now that we have more than three channels, there are so many quality programs on TV! Like movies in the middle of the week. I enjoyed many of the lines in this movie, including:

"I went home and told my mama you had a seizure in my mouth."
(referring to her first french-kissing experience)

"Dancing's just a conversation between two people. Talk to me."
(the conversation in our living room then went,
Girl 1: Only Harry Connick Jr. could say that line without it being incredibly cheezy.
Boy: Without it being cheezy? That's all I heard. Cheez, cheez, cheez.
Girl 2: Yeah, but it was sexy, sexy cheez...sigh.)
"Better do what she says, Travis. Grandma stuffs little dogs."

Bernice: At home we had a pet skunk. Mama used to call it Justin Matisse. Do you think that's just a coincidence? All day long she would scream, "You stink Justin Matisse!" Then one day she just…

I Like to Keep My Issues Drawn

It's Sunday night and I am multi-tasking. Paid some bills, catching up on free musical downloads from the past month, thinking about the mix-tape I need to make and planning my last assignment for writing class.

Shortly, I will abandon the laptop to write my first draft by hand. But until then, I am thinking about music.

This song played for me earlier this afternoon, as I attempted to nap. I woke up somewhere between 5 and 5:30 this morning, then lay in bed until 8 o'clock flipping sides and thinking about every part of my life that exists. It wasn't stressful, but it wasn't quite restful either...This past month, I have spent a lot of time rebuffing lies and refusing to believe that the inside of my heart and mind can never change. I feel like Florence + The Machine's song "Shake it Out" captures many of these feelings & thoughts.

(addendum: is the line "I like to keep my issues strong or drawn?" Lyrics sites have it as "strong," …

Simone Weil: On "Forms of the Implicit Love of God"

Simone Weil time again! One of the essays in Waiting for God is entitled "Forms of the Implicit Love of God." Her main argument is that before a soul has "direct contact" with God, there are three types of love that are implicitly the love of God, though they seem to have a different explicit object. That is, in loving X, you are really loving Y. (in this case, Y = God). As for the X of the equation, she lists:

Love of neighbor Love of the beauty of the world Love of religious practices and a special sidebar to Friendship
“Each has the virtue of a sacrament,” she writes. Each of these loves is something to be respected, honoured, and understood both symbolically and concretely. On each page of this essay, I found myself underlining profound, challenging, and thought-provoking words. There's so much to consider that I've gone back several times, mulling it over and wondering how my life would look if I truly believed even half of these things...

Here are a few …