Skip to main content

Stream of Consciousness

At the end of this work week, here are some of my thoughts and feelings:
  • I miss the interweb. I wish I weren't away from the internet for 12 waking hours each day.
  •  I feel tired. I think that 8 hours of sleep is not enough.
  •  I came up with more blog topics to write about: Player One. Prayer. Brand Loyalty. A depressing epitaph.
  • What is next?
  • I want to live my whole life believing that my best days are still ahead of me. 
  • Did I mention that I'm tired? 
  • I am impressed by my ability to remain calm in the presence of a perpetually whining child. Two grouchy children, is, however, unbearable. I dislike the way my patience disappears. 
  • Can it be springtime now?
  • My room is a disaster. When will I have time to clean it? Next weekend? Yes, next weekend.
  • I used to say I would never drink alone. I need to figure out the new modification for that rule. It was a good rule. It is a good rule. But this is the second time this month I've had a glass of wine by myself. Ok, technically Nadine also had a glass tonight. But I went into my room and closed my door and read my book and drank my wine... so, that is pretty much alone. 
  • Vancouver. India. Spain. UK. Africa. How many places can I travel to? How soon can I go? How little money can I live off of?
  • Bed. Gotta be up in 9 hours.

Comments

Mindy said…
I drink alone. Sometimes a beer or a gin martini and not because I am sad and depressed but more because I like it. People laugh at me... but that's ok. I think as long as you place a reasonable limit of some sort drinking alone shouldn't be a negative thing.
afro-chick said…
i had a dream about you last night.
i SO want to travel with you.
i miss you.

the word verification word is bleed.
hmm.
Beth said…
mindy - yeah, that's where i'm at...in my mind, drinking alone has long been associated with depression/danger. which is not necessarily true. but I DO believe in safeguards/parameters that will prevent me from making unwise choices.

Popular posts from this blog

Fostering FAQ: How Can You Say Goodbye?

It seems I finally have something(s) to say... Here's the first in a short (or maybe long?) series on Fostering FAQs. If you've got a question to add, feel free to comment/email/text/message me and maybe the next post will be in response.

--

8:30 am on Day 4 of parenting. I woke up in a panic two hours ago because I remembered that there is a baby and I am responsible for her (at least at 6:30am, when the man beside me will snore through anything). Now, I have put on clothes and eaten breakfast. The dogs are walked, there is a loaf of banana bread in the oven. My tea is steeping. Most importantly, Dream Baby is already down for her first nap.

Despite my morning efficiency, I'm already beginning to see that even with the happiest, most easygoing, and smiliest baby, like we somehow managed to be given, parenting is a grind. On Friday night, I couldn't join friends for $5 pints at a local joint. Instead, I blearily washed the same 8 bottles again, and then made another ba…

Fostering FAQ: How Long Will She Stay/Will You Adopt Her?

Our first foster baby came with about 18 hours notice; it was respite care, which means we had him for a few days while his regular foster family had a break/dealt with a family emergency. He stayed 3 nights, long enough to come to church and have a dozen people cooing over his little sleeping cheeks.  With each new visitor to our quiet corner, I explained again that he would be going back to his foster family the next day.

Barely a week later, we got a 9am phone call with a fostering request and by the same afternoon, we were snuggling her. This time, we had her for 4 days before church came around. Again, our community was keen to see the little one we had in tow. Again, the question, "How long will she stay?" And this time, "Are you going to adopt her?"

--

Here in Toronto, when a child is placed in foster care, it is always for an indefinite length of time. It depends on the parents' situation, and whether they are able to make a safe home environment for th…

Fostering FAQ: What's Her (Mom's) Story?

This is probably the second most common question I hear about the baby currently in our care, right after, "Will you keep her?"

It comes in many forms:

"So, what's her story?"
"Is her mom in the picture?"
"How did she end up in your home?
"Is her mom a drug addict?"
"How could a mom not love such a cute baby!"

I get it. It's natural curiousity, and I know I've asked similar questions of my friends who are adoptive parents.


But here's what I'm learning: a child's story is their own. And equally as important, the parent's story is their own.

Imagine how it might feel to hear that for the foreseeable future, you are not allowed to care for your child. On top of whatever difficult circumstances you are already in - perhaps poverty, social isolation, lack of adequate housing, domestic violence, intergenerational trauma, drug or alcohol dependency, low cognitive functioning, or a myriad of other complex strug…