Skip to main content

So Long, Money

(anyone want to guess how much is shown in the photo?)

Now that it's not sitting on my bed anymore, let's talk about money.

I am not used to handling large amounts of money. I don't particularly like handling large amounts of money. It is strange to walk home from the bank with almost half my yearly salary in my purse. It is strange to be responsible for the precise accounting of said money. Being in charge of the money was probably the most stressful part of my recent trip to the UK.

Three weeks later, with the leftover cash safely in the bank, the largest cheque I have ever written ready to return it to its proper owners, and a budget that is finally and happily balanced, I am relieved to wash my hands of it all.


I've realized that I don't really care about money. I mean, obviously, it matters. I need to live. I like to buy things - mostly clothes and music and experiences. But money is not something that excites me. So long as I am paying my bills, it's not something that makes me feel happy. The thought of having more than I do right now actually stresses me out. Because then I'd be accountable for using and saving and doing right by it.

More money = more responsibility. And while I don't agree with the extremes they take it to, I think MxPx was on to something...

Comments

Wendy said…
It was budget finishing day for project, huh? I hate cost accounting with the force of a thousand winds. Every time some expects me to balance a budget, we seem to end of disagreeing and in serious conflict. Blech.

You're clearly a better human being than I am. And you know? I'm comfortable with that.

Popular posts from this blog

What About Travis!?

I just watched Hope Floats, the second movie in my I-really-need-to-vegetate night. Now that we have more than three channels, there are so many quality programs on TV! Like movies in the middle of the week. I enjoyed many of the lines in this movie, including:

"I went home and told my mama you had a seizure in my mouth."
(referring to her first french-kissing experience)

"Dancing's just a conversation between two people. Talk to me."
(the conversation in our living room then went,
Girl 1: Only Harry Connick Jr. could say that line without it being incredibly cheezy.
Boy: Without it being cheezy? That's all I heard. Cheez, cheez, cheez.
Girl 2: Yeah, but it was sexy, sexy cheez...sigh.)
"Better do what she says, Travis. Grandma stuffs little dogs."

Bernice: At home we had a pet skunk. Mama used to call it Justin Matisse. Do you think that's just a coincidence? All day long she would scream, "You stink Justin Matisse!" Then one day she just…

I Like to Keep My Issues Drawn

It's Sunday night and I am multi-tasking. Paid some bills, catching up on free musical downloads from the past month, thinking about the mix-tape I need to make and planning my last assignment for writing class.

Shortly, I will abandon the laptop to write my first draft by hand. But until then, I am thinking about music.

This song played for me earlier this afternoon, as I attempted to nap. I woke up somewhere between 5 and 5:30 this morning, then lay in bed until 8 o'clock flipping sides and thinking about every part of my life that exists. It wasn't stressful, but it wasn't quite restful either...This past month, I have spent a lot of time rebuffing lies and refusing to believe that the inside of my heart and mind can never change. I feel like Florence + The Machine's song "Shake it Out" captures many of these feelings & thoughts.

(addendum: is the line "I like to keep my issues strong or drawn?" Lyrics sites have it as "strong," …

Simone Weil: On "Forms of the Implicit Love of God"

Simone Weil time again! One of the essays in Waiting for God is entitled "Forms of the Implicit Love of God." Her main argument is that before a soul has "direct contact" with God, there are three types of love that are implicitly the love of God, though they seem to have a different explicit object. That is, in loving X, you are really loving Y. (in this case, Y = God). As for the X of the equation, she lists:

Love of neighbor Love of the beauty of the world Love of religious practices and a special sidebar to Friendship
“Each has the virtue of a sacrament,” she writes. Each of these loves is something to be respected, honoured, and understood both symbolically and concretely. On each page of this essay, I found myself underlining profound, challenging, and thought-provoking words. There's so much to consider that I've gone back several times, mulling it over and wondering how my life would look if I truly believed even half of these things...

Here are a few …