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The Dating Dare: Honesty Isn't Always Best

If you want to use the internet to find a woman like me (for the sake of this entry, I will describe myself as independent, intellectual, genuine and Jesus-loving), here are three things you should probably not write on your profile:

under Additional Information You May Want To Know:

Ok. Let's be frank. Sex and sexuality is a part of life: particularly romantic relationships. I recognize that. I also recognize that men tend to be more open with their sexual desires than women (although that is changing in our culture – yet another topic I have thoughts enough to write an entire post on!). But as someone commented when I told them about this, “Isn't that stating the obvious? I would say you should publicize only if you're NOT a horny guy, because then you're unique.”

Honestly. A sexual relationship is not the only thing that most women are looking for. Sex is a part of the bigger, holistic relationship. When you are self-professed as a “horny-loving guy” you can't expect to get a whole lot of positive feedback from people who view sex as an integrated and appropriately balanced part of life. I believe in honesty, but I also believe in making a good impression. Which this does not.

under Things I Can't Live Without:
“My two guinea pigs”

Wow. When I was a child, we had two pet guinea pigs. I loved them a lot. I'm sure I cried when they died. But would I have put them on my list of “things I can't live without?” Don't think so. Not even when I was seven. In fact, around the same time, we have a photo of me holding the neighbour's cat and pouting. What I couldn't live without was a pet cat. Although, it turns out, I could. And now I have been doing a great job of living without a cat or a guinea pig or a dog for the last fifteen years.

That kind of emotional attachment and investment to an animal with such a small lifespan, size, and personality... it takes me aback.

under Last Book I Read And Enjoyed:
“I don't read novels because fiction is fictitious.”

First off, Thank you, Captain Obvious! Fiction is indeed fictitious; as the spelling may suggest, they are closely related. One is a noun, the other is an adjective; different forms of the same word. It would be akin to saying "water is wet" or "snow is snowy."

Secondly, are you anti-fiction in all its forms? If so, I can't imagine you're much involved in our Western culture. Movies? TV? Music? Politics, even? IT'S ALL FICTION.


You can learn a lot from fiction. Fiction does not necessarily equal falsehood. It is powerful and beautiful, and has the potential to be used for good or for harm. But it is, of itself, morally neutral. I don't expect every man I interact with to be a bibliophile; a mildly educated perspective is, however, necessary.

Maybe you read these true-to-life profile statements and you don't respond the way that I did. That is entirely fair, because you and I are different people. Which leads us directly into my next post... Things I Learned About Myself.

ps. Those of you who've done a little internet matchmaking...what are the best worst-things you've read?


shellieos said…
Not so much what they've written, but the pictures they've posted. I have screamed on occasion. Although I do admit that I am melodramatic.
Jesskah said…
I must say..I really like that you wrote "of itself" instead of "in and of itself" which has GOT to be redundant. I can't see it any other way...but no one wants to split em up! Thank you for taking the initiative.
Anonymous said…
How about "I have an ageless body..." yes, indeed someone wrote this. It's quite a claim and one that couldn't really be tested unless you signed up. I'd like to know who actually thinks he can defy reality. Also, "I have no goals in life." Seriously this isn't going to get you very far, especially when you already live in a very small and rural town in Canada. Perhaps, I am too harsh though. It might be right up someone's alley, just not mine.

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