Skip to main content

Special Non-Holiday Edition (Round 23)

Special Edition!!!!

Are you curious about the theme?


Last month, I told you all that Nadine dared me to go on eHarmony for a month of free communication. So I did. I will post my thoughts and some of my experiences within the next few days. Until then, enjoy these hilarious and sometimes unkind things that she had to say about online matchmaking.



her: Oh, no! Don't do that, boys! It's so evil and rude and gross!

her: WHY? Why. Are. You.

her: Oh, he's white, good.
(to clarify, his ethnicity confirmed that he was not a "ladykiller" acquaintance with the same name...)

her: I break up with him on your behalf! "Dear ______, This is Beth's roommate. I break up with you on her behalf. Have a nice life. Good luck being right ALL the time."

her: AH! Cancel! Quit! Throw your computer! (Poor shy quiet Christian man...)

her: Did you ever hear back from the guy when you said, "I don't love you."?
me: What?
her: You know, the fat guy.
(to clarify, the "fat" label was started by me and my fears...more to come in my follow up post)

her: You can't go out with a ch-nage consultant. I forbid it!

her: I like Catholic Matthews.

me: I need to ask him three questions.
her: 3 questions: Are you fat? What's your email address? Will you marry me?

her: Does that say IN FIFTEEN YEARS? I'm a Christian; I'm not allowed to think about tomorrow! Dude. Bra. Bro? What do they call themselves these days?

her: How do you end these things anyhow, say "Roger that, over and out?"

her: As a Canadian, I don't think you're allowed to say you like Celine Dion, even if you do. I think he broke a rule.

her: Yeah, we decided we know some decent men who like Jane Austen...I mean, if he said, Sweet Valley High, I'd say run away.

me: reading message
her: I kind of want him around for comedic relief! Keep him for a little bit!


aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, a guest quote - 

me: I gave my email to four men...
friend: You hussy!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Fostering FAQ: How Can You Say Goodbye?

It seems I finally have something(s) to say... Here's the first in a short (or maybe long?) series on Fostering FAQs. If you've got a question to add, feel free to comment/email/text/message me and maybe the next post will be in response.

--

8:30 am on Day 4 of parenting. I woke up in a panic two hours ago because I remembered that there is a baby and I am responsible for her (at least at 6:30am, when the man beside me will snore through anything). Now, I have put on clothes and eaten breakfast. The dogs are walked, there is a loaf of banana bread in the oven. My tea is steeping. Most importantly, Dream Baby is already down for her first nap.

Despite my morning efficiency, I'm already beginning to see that even with the happiest, most easygoing, and smiliest baby, like we somehow managed to be given, parenting is a grind. On Friday night, I couldn't join friends for $5 pints at a local joint. Instead, I blearily washed the same 8 bottles again, and then made another ba…

Fostering FAQ: How Long Will She Stay/Will You Adopt Her?

Our first foster baby came with about 18 hours notice; it was respite care, which means we had him for a few days while his regular foster family had a break/dealt with a family emergency. He stayed 3 nights, long enough to come to church and have a dozen people cooing over his little sleeping cheeks.  With each new visitor to our quiet corner, I explained again that he would be going back to his foster family the next day.

Barely a week later, we got a 9am phone call with a fostering request and by the same afternoon, we were snuggling her. This time, we had her for 4 days before church came around. Again, our community was keen to see the little one we had in tow. Again, the question, "How long will she stay?" And this time, "Are you going to adopt her?"

--

Here in Toronto, when a child is placed in foster care, it is always for an indefinite length of time. It depends on the parents' situation, and whether they are able to make a safe home environment for th…

What About Travis!?

I just watched Hope Floats, the second movie in my I-really-need-to-vegetate night. Now that we have more than three channels, there are so many quality programs on TV! Like movies in the middle of the week. I enjoyed many of the lines in this movie, including:

"I went home and told my mama you had a seizure in my mouth."
(referring to her first french-kissing experience)

"Dancing's just a conversation between two people. Talk to me."
(the conversation in our living room then went,
Girl 1: Only Harry Connick Jr. could say that line without it being incredibly cheezy.
Boy: Without it being cheezy? That's all I heard. Cheez, cheez, cheez.
Girl 2: Yeah, but it was sexy, sexy cheez...sigh.)
"Better do what she says, Travis. Grandma stuffs little dogs."

Bernice: At home we had a pet skunk. Mama used to call it Justin Matisse. Do you think that's just a coincidence? All day long she would scream, "You stink Justin Matisse!" Then one day she just…