Skip to main content

Another Dream, Another Text

Last night, I pretty much told friends of mine that they should have a baby. I know better than this... But I was feeling all baby-loving from the sweet girl I'd just passed off, and may have said something like, "I think all my friends should have babies so I can borrow them. You know, since that's not really in my foreseeable future..."**

"Actually," the husband replied, "You know it's only ever nine months away..."

I laughed as I looked down at my phone. Someone had texted me.

It read: "I had a dream that you had a child out of wedlock the other night. :) Just read your post. :)"

Let's chalk that one up to bad cheese and impeccable timing...


**remember last year when I said I didn't know if I wanted to/should have kids? This is where I stand now; I want to be actively involved in parenting the next generation, but what that looks like and whether my own biological children will be involved is still a mystery. Pretty sure I don't need to think much more about this until I am either married or 32.

Comments

Anonymous said…
I also often make those comments in a joking, friendly way...but the last time I did so in a general way to 2 married friends, one of the friends later brought up the fact that she'd just found out she can't have children and was still trying to deal with that new reality...it was awful. I am going to be much more careful in the future.

I've also had the much happier experience of commenting to a friend that I couldn't wait until she had a baby and having her reply, "Well you won't have long to wait! I'm pregnant! We are just starting to tell people."
Beth said…
the first paragraph is exactly why i should know better...

the second is a happy moment, indeed!
Laura said…
Um, 32?! I guess that leaves you with about 10 years of fertility in which to produce children. A lot of children.
Beth said…
Laura - 32 is the not-quite-arbitrary age at which i will start considering adoption, if i am still single...

Popular posts from this blog

5 Rules for Being a (North) American Adult or No One Wants You to Love Yourself

5 Rules for Being a (North) American Adult
(paraphrased from a lecture by Anne Lamott, whose priest friend shared them with her many years ago)

1. Have it all together. 2. If you don't have it all together, fix whatever is broken in you so that you do have it all together. 3. If you can't fix whatever's broken, pretend that you have. 4. If you can't pretend to be fixed, don't show up - it's a bit embarrassing to the rest of us. 5. If you do decide to show up broken, at least have the decency to be ashamed of yourself.
--
We are encultured towards self-loathing and self-avoidance. 
Be perfect. Do it all, do it right.  If you can't be better, pretend you are. Don't look any deeper. Keep busy. Keep your chin up. Keep up appearances.
It takes so much energy. It takes too much energy.
--
What would happen if I just loved myself? is the question I have been asking since my last post.
It's the question I hear when I see photos of lovely fat ladies who refuse…

Fostering FAQ: How Can You Say Goodbye?

It seems I finally have something(s) to say... Here's the first in a short (or maybe long?) series on Fostering FAQs. If you've got a question to add, feel free to comment/email/text/message me and maybe the next post will be in response.

--

8:30 am on Day 4 of parenting. I woke up in a panic two hours ago because I remembered that there is a baby and I am responsible for her (at least at 6:30am, when the man beside me will snore through anything). Now, I have put on clothes and eaten breakfast. The dogs are walked, there is a loaf of banana bread in the oven. My tea is steeping. Most importantly, Dream Baby is already down for her first nap.

Despite my morning efficiency, I'm already beginning to see that even with the happiest, most easygoing, and smiliest baby, like we somehow managed to be given, parenting is a grind. On Friday night, I couldn't join friends for $5 pints at a local joint. Instead, I blearily washed the same 8 bottles again, and then made another ba…

Fostering FAQ: How Long Will She Stay/Will You Adopt Her?

Our first foster baby came with about 18 hours notice; it was respite care, which means we had him for a few days while his regular foster family had a break/dealt with a family emergency. He stayed 3 nights, long enough to come to church and have a dozen people cooing over his little sleeping cheeks.  With each new visitor to our quiet corner, I explained again that he would be going back to his foster family the next day.

Barely a week later, we got a 9am phone call with a fostering request and by the same afternoon, we were snuggling her. This time, we had her for 4 days before church came around. Again, our community was keen to see the little one we had in tow. Again, the question, "How long will she stay?" And this time, "Are you going to adopt her?"

--

Here in Toronto, when a child is placed in foster care, it is always for an indefinite length of time. It depends on the parents' situation, and whether they are able to make a safe home environment for th…