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In Spain, K and I had a conversation that went something like this:

Me: There's this situation in my life - (insert details here). I don't know what to do.

K: Well, how do you feel about it? What do you want?

Me: Good question... Logical-Beth understands that blah blah blah, so although I feel x, y, and z, I'd like to see etc etc happen.

K: And how much of you is Logical-Beth?

Me: (pause) About 10%.

This is a reoccurring problem in my life. Try as I may, I can't manage to be rational and logical as often as I want. I don't believe that my life should be ruled by my emotions; but I have realized it cannot and should not be ruled by reason alone either.

The problem is, Emotional-Beth and Logical-Beth have trouble getting along. They both like to assert their right-to-rule at the same time.

Today I woke up with this song in my head. I think it was a not-so-subtle manifestation of my ongoing internal conflict.


Laura said…
My question is why do you believe being logical and rational superior to being emotional? Being emotional doesn't mean being unstable it just means having feelings. Being emotionally unstable is absolutely detrimental but so is being logical without any feeling. From what I know of you, your emotions drive you to think, pray and process which always lend logic to an emotional experience. I think you are actually a good balance of both. Don't give in to the lie that being logical and rational trump emotion.
Beth said…
Laura - I don't believe reason is superior to emotion - anymore. I'm not sure I could explain why I've believed that - something I internalized as a child or teenager? Maybe it's related to the fact that I've not known what to _do_ with emotions. I totally agree that there needs to be a balance ... having that play out in life is always a bit tricky though. And thanks for the encouragement :)

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