Skip to main content

Open Email: Follow-up Thoughts on Last Night

Since I already shared this conversation with you, I thought I'd modify & share the follow-up email I just sent my friends. I want my blog and my real life to be on the same page, having the same conversations...

Hey world,

I hope that Friday is treating you all well. I am having a much better (and more productive day) than yesterday.

This morning I told my roommate about our conversation last night - particularly what "Girl With Insight" said about boys needing girls for friends where girls don't need boys in the same way...and she made a comment that I thought was wise. I forget how she phrased it exactly, but essentially that just because we may not need boys as friends doesn't mean boys should either date us or get out of our lives. That's unfair and selfish of us to expect or ask.

I know we ranted a little last night (and sometimes those rants are needed...), but I know that really, I don't want my life to be only about the selfish relationships that do the things I want them to. I am learning a lot from the healthy friendships I'm building with boys, and even though I don't always know what that looks like, I think it's key.

I'm pretty sure we're all on the same page here, and I think we should have more conversations about the things we're learning as we bumble along.

Those are my thoughts today...

AND I think you're all great!
Beth

Comments

Laura J said…
I'm learning we should be friends with boys and date men. It's much more productive.
MLW said…
Laura, I agree with your comment!
"bumble along" sounds about right, but "girl with insight" has got it way, way wrong.

if you want, read my response here:

www.multroneous.blogspot.com
I apologize for my harsh, hasty and unfair speculations I made about "girl with insight" on my blog. I'll edit my post.

Also, In my zeal for my best friends I overlooked your Christ-like consideration of other's needs as you further reflected on the topic of friendship.
Errata:
for "other's" read "others'"

For your grammatical satisfaction.

Popular posts from this blog

5 Rules for Being a (North) American Adult or No One Wants You to Love Yourself

5 Rules for Being a (North) American Adult
(paraphrased from a lecture by Anne Lamott, whose priest friend shared them with her many years ago)

1. Have it all together. 2. If you don't have it all together, fix whatever is broken in you so that you do have it all together. 3. If you can't fix whatever's broken, pretend that you have. 4. If you can't pretend to be fixed, don't show up - it's a bit embarrassing to the rest of us. 5. If you do decide to show up broken, at least have the decency to be ashamed of yourself.
--
We are encultured towards self-loathing and self-avoidance. 
Be perfect. Do it all, do it right.  If you can't be better, pretend you are. Don't look any deeper. Keep busy. Keep your chin up. Keep up appearances.
It takes so much energy. It takes too much energy.
--
What would happen if I just loved myself? is the question I have been asking since my last post.
It's the question I hear when I see photos of lovely fat ladies who refuse…

Fostering FAQ: How Can You Say Goodbye?

It seems I finally have something(s) to say... Here's the first in a short (or maybe long?) series on Fostering FAQs. If you've got a question to add, feel free to comment/email/text/message me and maybe the next post will be in response.

--

8:30 am on Day 4 of parenting. I woke up in a panic two hours ago because I remembered that there is a baby and I am responsible for her (at least at 6:30am, when the man beside me will snore through anything). Now, I have put on clothes and eaten breakfast. The dogs are walked, there is a loaf of banana bread in the oven. My tea is steeping. Most importantly, Dream Baby is already down for her first nap.

Despite my morning efficiency, I'm already beginning to see that even with the happiest, most easygoing, and smiliest baby, like we somehow managed to be given, parenting is a grind. On Friday night, I couldn't join friends for $5 pints at a local joint. Instead, I blearily washed the same 8 bottles again, and then made another ba…

Fostering FAQ: How Long Will She Stay/Will You Adopt Her?

Our first foster baby came with about 18 hours notice; it was respite care, which means we had him for a few days while his regular foster family had a break/dealt with a family emergency. He stayed 3 nights, long enough to come to church and have a dozen people cooing over his little sleeping cheeks.  With each new visitor to our quiet corner, I explained again that he would be going back to his foster family the next day.

Barely a week later, we got a 9am phone call with a fostering request and by the same afternoon, we were snuggling her. This time, we had her for 4 days before church came around. Again, our community was keen to see the little one we had in tow. Again, the question, "How long will she stay?" And this time, "Are you going to adopt her?"

--

Here in Toronto, when a child is placed in foster care, it is always for an indefinite length of time. It depends on the parents' situation, and whether they are able to make a safe home environment for th…