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Couch Conversations (round 2)

I have a feeling these are going to be regularly occurring posts. I also feel the need to include a brief disclaimer: all of these are being quoted out of context and are not to be taken seriously.

her: I don't want him to think I'm using him for his muscles or big van.
me: Meh, don't worry about it! He's just using you for your lips anyway.

me: I don't ever want you to be afraid of me, okay?
her: Just don't walk into my room holding a knife.


me: Well, I think that's enough breaking hearts for one day. And it's not even noon.
her: Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. You should join them.

me: You're hilarious.
her: The nice thing about having a roommate is that I get to share these thoughts. When I lived alone, what was I going to do? Write a list of "funny thoughts I had today?"

her: I've never had a broken heart, but I have had it drop-kicked across a field, where it landed in a mudpit.
me: laughter.

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