Skip to main content

Empty Threats, Insults, Creeperville (round 5)

Nadine is getting meaner this week.

her:
"Going to get laundry. I'll be back. Maybe."
me: "What, like you're going to get killed getting your laundry!?"
her: "Maybe I'll run away."
me: "Why? We've got a good thing going here!"
her: "Well, maybe sometime if I'm mad when I go get laundry..."
me: "Remind me never to fight with you on laundry day."

(on the topic of her boyfriend)
her: "Two years ago, I wrote a blog post on how unemployment is not a deal breaker... I'm glad I could follow through on that."

me: You'll really like Amelia.
her: I'm looking forward to stealing all your friends.
me: (tips head to the side, looks sideways at her)
her: Or sharing them?
me: Yeah, let's go with the option that means I'm not left lonely.

me: "I'm not sure if I want to shower today or not...I don't really need to be clean."
her: "You don't ever need to be clean. You don't have a boyfriend."
me: "Heyyyyyyyyyy. Take that back."

me: (sprawled on the couch, not moving) "Okay. I'm going to shower now."
her: "Okay. I'm watching you."
me: "Um..."
her: "I mean, watching you leave."

me: "That's unfair!"
her: "Unfair!? I had to choose between Remington Steele and Pushing Daisies!"

(Wheel of Fortune, this is the puzzle: _HE _ _ _ _ _ _S _ _ _ _ _ _ _)
her: "The heat is on!"
both: (hysterical laughter that "on" would be a seven-letter word)

THE _ L _ _ _ IS TI _ _ ING

her:
"The something is ticking?"
me: "The clock?"
her: "That would be the word..."

her: "This bra is too tight. Or maybe I just need liposuction on my back."

her: "I dare you to walk down the aisle to that song. (pause) It's not Chris Brown.*"

("that song" being this song:)


*Nadine has disallowed Chris Brown from being played at her wedding.

Comments

Amelia said…
i don't wanna be stolen! I wanna be loved and given ice cream.
afro-chick said…
ah. again, i miss you both. Onscario can't come soon enough!!
Margie said…
is it just me are there some men dressed up as women dancing in that video....

Popular posts from this blog

Fostering FAQ: How Can You Say Goodbye?

It seems I finally have something(s) to say... Here's the first in a short (or maybe long?) series on Fostering FAQs. If you've got a question to add, feel free to comment/email/text/message me and maybe the next post will be in response.

--

8:30 am on Day 4 of parenting. I woke up in a panic two hours ago because I remembered that there is a baby and I am responsible for her (at least at 6:30am, when the man beside me will snore through anything). Now, I have put on clothes and eaten breakfast. The dogs are walked, there is a loaf of banana bread in the oven. My tea is steeping. Most importantly, Dream Baby is already down for her first nap.

Despite my morning efficiency, I'm already beginning to see that even with the happiest, most easygoing, and smiliest baby, like we somehow managed to be given, parenting is a grind. On Friday night, I couldn't join friends for $5 pints at a local joint. Instead, I blearily washed the same 8 bottles again, and then made another ba…

Fostering FAQ: How Long Will She Stay/Will You Adopt Her?

Our first foster baby came with about 18 hours notice; it was respite care, which means we had him for a few days while his regular foster family had a break/dealt with a family emergency. He stayed 3 nights, long enough to come to church and have a dozen people cooing over his little sleeping cheeks.  With each new visitor to our quiet corner, I explained again that he would be going back to his foster family the next day.

Barely a week later, we got a 9am phone call with a fostering request and by the same afternoon, we were snuggling her. This time, we had her for 4 days before church came around. Again, our community was keen to see the little one we had in tow. Again, the question, "How long will she stay?" And this time, "Are you going to adopt her?"

--

Here in Toronto, when a child is placed in foster care, it is always for an indefinite length of time. It depends on the parents' situation, and whether they are able to make a safe home environment for th…

Fostering FAQ: What's Her (Mom's) Story?

This is probably the second most common question I hear about the baby currently in our care, right after, "Will you keep her?"

It comes in many forms:

"So, what's her story?"
"Is her mom in the picture?"
"How did she end up in your home?
"Is her mom a drug addict?"
"How could a mom not love such a cute baby!"

I get it. It's natural curiousity, and I know I've asked similar questions of my friends who are adoptive parents.


But here's what I'm learning: a child's story is their own. And equally as important, the parent's story is their own.

Imagine how it might feel to hear that for the foreseeable future, you are not allowed to care for your child. On top of whatever difficult circumstances you are already in - perhaps poverty, social isolation, lack of adequate housing, domestic violence, intergenerational trauma, drug or alcohol dependency, low cognitive functioning, or a myriad of other complex strug…